People Don't Listen Enough

[PhotonGuy]

I would have to say that a big problem in this world is that people don't listen enough. Now, listening is something you usually do with your ears but you can also listen with your eyes. How? When you're reading stuff if you pay attention to what you're reading, that's how you listen with your eyes. And when Im talking about reading stuff that includes stuff such as posts on internet message boards.

All too often on internet message boards people don't pay attention to what they're reading, or at least they act like they don't. That would include internet forums such as this one but its not just this one, on just about all of the Internet forums I've been to, and I've been to quite a bit, there are people who don't "listen." People will ignore parts of posts, when you do that you're not listening so to speak. Just like how people sometimes ignore what other people are saying out loud, people sometimes ignore what other people post on message boards when they read the messages and this will often include just parts of the post which is no good because by ignoring part of a post you're not getting the full meaning of the post so its just like ignoring the whole post.

You've got two ears and just one mouth, and you've also go two eyes, so people should listen more and that includes paying attention to what they're reading when they're reading posts and to pay attention to the entire post and to do that when they're reading all messages on all message boards including this one but not limited to just this one.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

People Don't Listen Enough​

If you are a Christian, will you listen to a Muslim preacher, abandon your religion, and become a Muslim?

We all have our believe and non-believe. If online discussion can change our mind, our believe may not be strong enough.

 

[Tony Dismukes]

People Don't Listen Enough​

If you are a Christian, will you listen to a Muslim preacher, abandon your religion, and become a Muslim?

We all have our believe and non-believe. If online discussion can change our mind, our believe may not be strong enough.

Listening doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with.

If I discuss religion with a Christian or a Muslim or a Buddhist, then I want to know what it is that they actually believe. (Or at least what they say they believe. The two are not always the same.) I may not agree with them, but I want to understand them and not make assumptions based on my own prejudices or what I’ve been told by someone else.

The same goes for political discussions or arguments about best practices in martial arts. Even if I am opposed to what you are saying and want to change your mind - how can I argue against your position if I don’t understand what your position really is?

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

how can I argue against your position if I don’t understand what your position really is?

If you always watch MSNBC news and CNN news, will you one day suddenly turn on FOX new, watch it, and raise your blood pressure for no good reason?

I left another "internal" MA forum. In that forum, people always talk about abstract stuff. Nobody is interested in concrete stuff such as skill development, ability development, strategy, footwork, ... To listen to people who only talk about abstract stuff just waste my lifetime completely.

 

[Flying Crane]

I’m sorry, what?

 

[Tony Dismukes]

If you always watch MSNBC news and CNN news, will you one day suddenly turn on FOX new, watch it, and raise your blood pressure for no good reason?

I left another "internal" MA forum. In that forum, people always talk about abstract stuff. Nobody is interested in concrete stuff such as skill development, ability development, strategy, footwork, ... To listen to people who only talk about abstract stuff just waste my lifetime completely.

You're certainly under no obligation to spend time engaging with those whose conversation you are not interested in. We all have limited time in our lives. We can't hear out everybody in the world.

But if we are going to be in a conversation with someone, whether in person or on a message board, then it behooves us to actually pay attention to what they are saying, rather than spouting off our own thoughts and filling in the other person's side with our imagined ideas of what they might be saying. I believe this is the point that PhotonGuy was trying to make.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

pay attention to what they are saying, rather than spouting off our own thoughts ...

A: What should I do if ...?
B: You may try ...
C: You may try ...

Of course, C has to understand A's question before C can answer A's question. C doesn't need to pay attention to B's responds. It's up to A to pay attention to B's respond.

IMO, the argument between B and C usually cause online discussion problem and should be avoid as much as possible (we may all be guilty on this).

 

[Xue Sheng]

I’m sorry, what?

DANG!!!! You beat me to it

 

[Sammy Naur]

I would have to say that a big problem in this world is that people don't listen enough. Now, listening is something you usually do with your ears but you can also listen with your eyes. How? When you're reading stuff if you pay attention to what you're reading, that's how you listen with your eyes. And when Im talking about reading stuff that includes stuff such as posts on internet message boards.

All too often on internet message boards people don't pay attention to what they're reading, or at least they act like they don't. That would include internet forums such as this one but its not just this one, on just about all of the Internet forums I've been to, and I've been to quite a bit, there are people who don't "listen." People will ignore parts of posts, when you do that you're not listening so to speak. Just like how people sometimes ignore what other people are saying out loud, people sometimes ignore what other people post on message boards when they read the messages and this will often include just parts of the post which is no good because by ignoring part of a post you're not getting the full meaning of the post so its just like ignoring the whole post.

You've got two ears and just one mouth, and you've also go two eyes, so people should listen more and that includes paying attention to what they're reading when they're reading posts and to pay attention to the entire post and to do that when they're reading all messages on all message boards including this one but not limited to just this one.

Few people want to waste precious time reading someone else's random thoughts in essay form.

The best way to encourage listening is to keep it short and simple. That way rather than essay rant vs. essay rant, you get something more like a tennis match...back and forth juggling key ideas.

"Pay attention to my entire post" is a tough sell. Your post is a good example, I didn't want to read the second half, but persisted in good faith.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

I think a lot of it comes down to succintness. If you're repeating your point multiple times (either in one post, or over the course of many), people will either skip or skim a lot of it. Then miss whatever nuance you're pointing out, as they stopped 'listening' halfway through.

It's not even a conscious thing. When the brain reads information and is like "Yeah I got that message" it just moves on.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

I would have to say that a big problem in this world is that people don't listen enough. Now, listening is something you usually do with your ears but you can also listen with your eyes. How? When you're reading stuff if you pay attention to what you're reading, that's how you listen with your eyes. And when Im talking about reading stuff that includes stuff such as posts on internet message boards.

All too often on internet message boards people don't pay attention to what they're reading, or at least they act like they don't. That would include internet forums such as this one but its not just this one, on just about all of the Internet forums I've been to, and I've been to quite a bit, there are people who don't "listen." People will ignore parts of posts, when you do that you're not listening so to speak. Just like how people sometimes ignore what other people are saying out loud, people sometimes ignore what other people post on message boards when they read the messages and this will often include just parts of the post which is no good because by ignoring part of a post you're not getting the full meaning of the post so its just like ignoring the whole post.

You've got two ears and just one mouth, and you've also go two eyes, so people should listen more and that includes paying attention to what they're reading when they're reading posts and to pay attention to the entire post and to do that when they're reading all messages on all message boards including this one but not limited to just this one.

As an explanation of my last post, and also me falling into the same trap I'm talking about, I broke down your post. You seem to have two main points: People don't listen and that's bad, and describing what you consider listening. I broke down each 'new' thought, as they fall under one of those two points, to show how repetitive it can get, and why someone might 'zone out' during them.

- Point 1 (people don't listen, and this is a problem)
- Point 2 (describing listening)
- Point 2 again
[Paragraph break]
- Point 1 again
- Points 1/2 (specifying who doesn't listen)
- Point 1 again, with clarification
- Point 1 again
[Paragraph break]
- Point 1 again, as a long run-on.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

- Point 1 (people don't listen, and this is a problem)

Here are my questions.

A: What should I do when ...?
B: You may try ...

- If A has never responded back to B, does that mean A is not listening to B?
- Does A have any obligation to respond back to B?

In many threads, someone starts a thread by asking a question. That person then disappear from the face of the earth. There is nothing people can do with this kind of threads.

 

[Taiji Rebel]

Listening with your eyes is a new one

 

[Xue Sheng]

Listening with your eyes is a new one

Just....Swallowing colors of the sound I hear

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

Listening with your eyes is a new one

I prefer looking with my hands…

 

[HighKick]

Listening doesn’t necessarily mean agreeing with.

If I discuss religion with a Christian or a Muslim or a Buddhist, then I want to know what it is that they actually believe. (Or at least what they say they believe. The two are not always the same.) I may not agree with them, but I want to understand them and not make assumptions based on my own prejudices or what I’ve been told by someone else.

The same goes for political discussions or arguments about best practices in martial arts. Even if I am opposed to what you are saying and want to change your mind - how can I argue against your position if I don’t understand what your position really is?

Life experiences and conditioning affects, this but I agree. When something is completely alien to you it is Very hard to wrap your head around it. Experience can cause us to draw a conclusion too quickly, missing the real meat of what is being said (opinion). Conditioning can cause to Not believe something no matter what.
In regard to martial arts, even terminology can be a hurdle. 'X' kick in one style can be quite different from another style. So common ground must be established first.

An example I frequently run into is trying to dissect what is wrong with a piece of equipment based solely on what a person (usually an operator) is telling me. Terminology is everything. I cannot count the times I have heard something like "the thingy was pressed but the thing-a-bob did not move".

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Here are my questions.

A: What should I do when ...?
B: You may try ...

- If A has never responded back to B, does that mean A is not listening to B?
- Does A have any obligation to respond back to B?

In many threads, someone starts a thread by asking a question. That person then disappear from the face of the earth. There is nothing people can do with this kind of threads.

That's a different issue. We have no idea if they listened or not.

They may
- Post their question and then forget about the forum.
- Read the responses, take what they need, and leave.
- Have a specific answer (or type of answer) they were looking for, be upset that's not what they got, and leave because of that.

I'd bet that it changes depending on the person/question, and unfortunately we will never know which. Kind of like we'll never know why someone doesn't come back after the intro class.