Old Farmer

[bydand]

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule, and he tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head and killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

 

[Andy Moynihan]

:lfao:

 

[Kacey]

:roflmao:

 

[Carol]

:lfao: :lfao:

 

[MA-Caver]

Yep, nuthing better than an old Mule to get da wurk dun!

Reminds me of:
A farmer ups and gets married to a pretty bride and enroute home in their horse drawn wagon they talked about their future. Then for no apparent reason the horse stopped dead in the middle of the road.
"g'up!" the farmer said, and the horse still stood. He tried everything, snapping the reins, and hollared loud enough so the horse could hear. Nothing. Then with a sigh he gets out of the wagon and walks up to the horse to stand right in front of it. Holding up a finger he says calmly: "That's One!" Then walks back around and gets back in the wagon next to his new wife and then they were on their way again. His new wife didn't say anything, but obviously was puzzled.
Half way home the horse stopped again and again the charade was played out with the farmer this time saying "That's Two!" This time the wife asked about it but the farmer gave no answer.
Just as the wagon crested a hill and the farmer's home could be seen a quarter mile away the horse stopped again.
The farmer sat there for a long moment without the motions to attempt the horse to move and then climbed down and reached into the back of the wagon and got out his shot-gun. Walked to the front of the horse and without preamble just BAM! shot it dead in the road.
He walks back to the wagon and puts the gun in the rear and goes back out front to unhitch the dead horse from the harness.
This time the wife not holding back stood up in the wagon and started screaming at the husband at shooting the horse and ruining their chances to plow the fields and make trips to town and....
The farmer calmly looks up to the wife with a gaze that stops her...

Holds up a finger softly saying: "That's One"