Blade96
Senior Master
My aunt sent me this joke.
AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS
>
> An atheist was walking through the woods.
>
> 'What majestic trees!'
> 'What powerful rivers!'
> 'What beautiful animals!'
> He said to himself.
>
> As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the
> bushes behind him.
>
> He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
>
> He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder &
> saw that the bear was closing in on him.
>
> He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
>
> He tripped & fell on the ground.
>
> He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on
> top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw
> to strike him.
>
>
> At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out:
> 'Oh my God!'
>
> Time stopped.
> The bear froze.
> The forest was silent.
>
>
> As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
>
> 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist
> and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'
> 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'
>
> 'Am I to count you as a believer?'
>
> The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be
> hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now,
> but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'
>
> 'Very well', said the voice.
>
> The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear
> dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head &
> spoke:
>
> 'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty
> through Christ our Lord, Amen
>
> An atheist was walking through the woods.
>
> 'What majestic trees!'
> 'What powerful rivers!'
> 'What beautiful animals!'
> He said to himself.
>
> As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the
> bushes behind him.
>
> He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
>
> He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder &
> saw that the bear was closing in on him.
>
> He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
>
> He tripped & fell on the ground.
>
> He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on
> top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw
> to strike him.
>
>
> At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out:
> 'Oh my God!'
>
> Time stopped.
> The bear froze.
> The forest was silent.
>
>
> As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
>
> 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist
> and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'
> 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'
>
> 'Am I to count you as a believer?'
>
> The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be
> hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now,
> but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'
>
> 'Very well', said the voice.
>
> The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear
> dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head &
> spoke:
>
> 'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty
> through Christ our Lord, Amen
