New here - Have a small issue

[Andrew1310]

Hi everyone,

I just took up Taekwondo and we are beginning to spar, problem is im being matched up with women.

Now don't take me wrong, these women are good, really good, and would absolutely wreck me in a fight, but I cannot bring myself to hit them back with my full strength.

I'm still learning, my technique is way off still and my balance is far from perfect, but every time I get matched up with a woman opponent I freeze up.

Does this happen to other people?

 

[Headhunter]

Better learn to get over it quick or you’ll get your *** kicked

 

[Andrew1310]

Thanks, super helpful

 

[JowGaWolf]

but I cannot bring myself to hit them back with my full strength

In my opinion training partners shouldn't hit each other with full strength during sparring. There's no need to do that in order to learn how to apply the technique. If someone stronger than you thought that he should be hitting you full strength then you wouldn't last long. You'll probably end up with injuries that would take time to heal, cuts down on training time. And you definitely wouldn't enjoy being beat up every time you spar.

During sparring training partners have to be concerned for each others safety. Sparring is great because people can lower the power and still train the techniques without going full power.

If the women can actually beat you in a fight, then you shouldn't have any uneasiness in sparring with them. Just lower the power and work the technique. What I do in training is to match the power that I receive.

 

[Headhunter]

In my opinion training partners shouldn't hit each other with full strength during sparring. There's no need to do that in order to learn how to apply the technique. If someone stronger than you thought that he should be hitting you full strength then you wouldn't last long. You'll probably end up with injuries that would take time to heal, cuts down on training time. And you definitely wouldn't enjoy being beat up every time you spar.

During sparring training partners have to be concerned for each others safety. Sparring is great because people can lower the power and still train the techniques without going full power.

If the women can actually beat you in a fight, then you shouldn't have any uneasiness in sparring with them. Just lower the power and work the technique. What I do in training is to match the power that I receive.

Exactly I was about to say that you shouldn’t be going full strength in sparring whether it’s a man or woman. I spar the same way with women as I do with men. I keep it light and flowing. I land shots but not enough to hurt anyone. Ive no problem to hit women in sparring because well it’s sparring it’d be more disrespectful if I didn’t spar them normally

 

[JowGaWolf]

it’d be more disrespectful if I didn’t spar them normally

So true. It's ok to go easy on someone because of skill level, but don't do it because of someone's gender.

 

[Andrew1310]

No you've misunderstood completely.

I'm not "going easy" on anyone, man or woman, I have a moral issue with physically assaulting women because my dad used to beat me and my mum when I was a kid.

These women don't need anyone going easy on them, they train just as hard as we do, that doesn't make it any easier throwing a hook into them.

 

[Dirty Dog]

No you've misunderstood completely.

I'm not "going easy" on anyone, man or woman, I have a moral issue with physically assaulting women because my dad used to beat me and my mum when I was a kid.

Bluntly, that's a sexist attitude. Get over it.Or get used to them kicking your butt. Were this to happen in my school, I'd make it a point to pair you with female students until you got over this attitude. Start by recognizing that you're not "assaulting" anyone. You're sparring.

 

[Andrew1310]

And ill be leaving now, thanks for nothing cock bags.

 

[JowGaWolf]

I have a moral issue with physically assaulting women because my dad used to beat me and my mum when I was a kid.

You probably should have started out with this. This is totally different from the perspectives that you were given don't aren't reflective of this.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Bluntly, that's a sexist attitude. Get over it.Or get used to them kicking your butt. Were this to happen in my school, I'd make it a point to pair you with female students until you got over this attitude. Start by recognizing that you're not "assaulting" anyone. You're sparring.

This is easier said than done because of the trauma, where hitting in any manner is triggering what happened in the past. I don't know the OP, but I could see where this could be an issue where the OP fears that he will be like his dad.

It's not just the hitting part, it's the emotional issue that a person has to deal with.

 

[Headhunter]

No you've misunderstood completely.

I'm not "going easy" on anyone, man or woman, I have a moral issue with physically assaulting women because my dad used to beat me and my mum when I was a kid.

These women don't need anyone going easy on them, they train just as hard as we do, that doesn't make it any easier throwing a hook into them.

You’re not assaulting them it’s sparring it’s mutually agreed. Assault is illegal sparring isn’t. They chose to spar they didn’t have to do but they choose to that’s the key word CHOOSE they want to fight

 

[Headhunter]

And ill be leaving now, thanks for nothing cock bags.

You’re a classy guy

 

[Headhunter]

This is easier said than done because of the trauma, where hitting in any manner is triggering what happened in the past. I don't know the OP, but I could see where this could be an issue where the OP fears that he will be like his dad.

It's not just the hitting part, it's the emotional issue that a person has to deal with.

Not really I mean it’s a completely different scenario...by his scenario he should have issues hitting men as well but he doesn’t seem to. End of the day sparring is nothing like assault. It’s mutually consented everyone’s wearing protective equipment it’s in a controlled environment with an instructor watching and the person in question chose to come to the class and chose to spar if they didn’t want to get hit they wouldn’t have sparred

 

[Dirty Dog]

This is easier said than done because of the trauma, where hitting in any manner is triggering what happened in the past. I don't know the OP, but I could see where this could be an issue where the OP fears that he will be like his dad.

It's not just the hitting part, it's the emotional issue that a person has to deal with.

Pretty much everything we do in the dojang is easier said than done.

 

[JowGaWolf]

by his scenario he should have issues hitting men as well but he doesn’t seem to.

I don't know the OP, but most men who abuse their wives don't abuse other men, and often don't show that same abusive nature to other people outside of a relationship. This is why a some women in an abusive relationship have a hard time getting people to believe it, unless there are bruises to show. The guy can be a "nice good guy" in public and a demon at home. I could be wrong, because each situation is different. The OP didn't give much more insight beyond that. Not saying that he has to, just saying that it's a possibility.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Pretty much everything we do in the dojang is easier said than done.

The the OP's case shouldn't be any different then. Meaning that sometimes it's not as easy as just hitting people, to fix emotional or mental trauma. You could be correct about the OP. But I don't know the OP so I can only offer possibilities.

 

[Dirty Dog]

The the OP's case shouldn't be any different then.

I agree. It shouldn't "This is what needs to be done. Go do it."

 

[Deleted member 39746]

I would honestly say, just ask not to be paired with them. I dont think they pair males and females often in sport TKD, so it should be a issue. (i dont recall if they do or dont, i think they generally dont, but it might be down to height and weight as to why)

I really dont see the issue with asking not to do something you morally dont want to do. (and if you take that stance the presumption is you would rather let them beat you half to death than hit them. Like extreme pacifists would let you kill them before they hit you back)


The reverse seems to be catered to quite well.

Addendum: I cant remmber the precise word, but you can edventually gradually build yourself into doing it, if its something that you want to test etc at a later date.

 

[Headhunter]

I would honestly say, just ask not to be paired with them. I dont think they pair males and females often in sport TKD, so it should be a issue. (i dont recall if they do or dont, i think they generally dont, but it might be down to height and weight as to why)

I really dont see the issue with asking not to do something you morally dont want to do. (and if you take that stance the presumption is you would rather let them beat you half to death than hit them. Like extreme pacifists would let you kill them before they hit you back)


The reverse seems to be catered to quite well.

Addendum: I cant remmber the precise word, but you can edventually gradually build yourself into doing it, if its something that you want to test etc at a later date.

...in most schools the number of males Will be higher than the number of females not everywhere but most places....what if there’s only one woman there and everyone else had that attitude so the woman has no one to spar with hows that fair? If you want to learn how to fight you need to fight everyone including women. If he’s got an issue with it let him spar and get beat until he realises he has to fight back or he’ll keep getting beat