New Chuck Norris Fact

[skribs]

I came up with a Chuck Norris fact of my own...

Mythbusters wanted to do an episode testing Chuck Norris facts, but their insurance plan doesn't cover Acts of God.

 

[jks9199]

Mythbusters wanted to do a show about Chuck Norris, but there were no myths about Chuck.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk

 

[seasoned]

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret. Just saying...........

 

[Takai]

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret. Just saying...........

I don't think that Victoria has an secrets left...just saying.

 

[seasoned]

I don't think that Victoria has an secrets left...just saying.

What about the one where she...................

 

[Madilyn]

LOL.... that was great! Thanks for the laugh...

 

[Swagmaster2993]

Chuck Norris partook in a pissing contest outside a bar once. His opponent drowned.
He can also take a woman's virginity twice.
He invented the spoon, because using a knife to kill somebody was too easy.
He sued the creators of "Brokeback mountain" for stealing the name of the pile of dead ninjas in his back yard.

Stay tuned for more!

 

[Seizan]

On the seventh day God rested, because Chuck Norris told him to take a day off.

 

[Paul_D]

I did one a few years ago:- It takes Rhonda Rousey two rounds to arm bar Chuck Norris. Of course it doesn't work now, but I was pleased with it at the time.

 

[Xue Sheng]

He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris, it's definitely his last laugh.

If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life

Chuck Norris' face was going to be on Mt. Rushmore, but the granite wasn't tough enough for his beard

 

[Swagmaster2993]

Every one of Chuck Norris blood cells have black belts.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

 

[JR 137]

Perhaps a little inappropriate, but oh well...

How does Chuck Norris make his manhood 12 inches long?

He folds it in half.

 

[Balrog]

When the boogeyman gets ready for bed at night, he checks the closet to see if Chuck Norris is hiding in it.

 

[Tarrycat]

 

[Balrog]

Chuck Norris got challenged by Superman. Loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his clothes.

 

[CB Jones]

God said “Let there be light”

Chuck Norris replied “Say please”

 

[kunetao]

Jesus can walk on water...... Chuck Norris can swim on land.

 

[Tez3]

Ah Chuck Norris aficionados, just what I've been looking for! does anyone know if Chuck competed in Europe at any time? If he did, can you say when. It's important but I'll let you know why later.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Ah Chuck Norris aficionados, just what I've been looking for! does anyone know if Chuck competed in Europe at any time? If he did, can you say when. It's important but I'll let you know why later.

If it's not in his movies or TV shows, I probably don't know it, except in these "facts".

 

[Tez3]

If it's not in his movies or TV shows, I probably don't know it, except in these "facts".

I think that's the problem, so many 'facts' but few real ones.
There is what we call a Walt ( someone bloating about his military service) who has been writing in a prestigious New Zealand mental health professionals magazine, we can prove his military 'credentials' are lies but he's also claiming he fought Chuck Norris in a European karate championship, he stops short of saying who won but no one can find proof that Chuck ever competed in Europe.
The most worrying thing apart from his, as Americans call it stolen valour and fake martial arts history is that we think his counselling and hypno therapy is fake too.