Need help

[crazydiamond]

Where a guy cries only when he is outright emotionally crippled. .

Does a guy crying when the dad finds his son in the movie "finding Nemo" count? Cause I totally did not do that - sniff - I don't care what my wife and kid said happened.

 

[Langenschwert]

To the OP:

Fighting "for real" is generally stupid. You are right to avoid it. It is up to you to decide what your line in the sand is... for what reasons you would stand and fight. Usually it's because you have no other choice, or you're protecting a loved one from grievous harm.

Boxing, Judo, Wrestling, Competitive HEMA are all high-stress environments that would help you deal with adrenaline. So could Rugby or skydiving or North American Football. Doesn't have to be a martial art. I've found Judo to be more terrifying than longsword competition, but neither one is particularly relaxing. Both are scary and will help you deal with adrenaline.

As a general rule, people who practice contact martial arts like Boxing or wrestling can "handle" themselves in a fight. So can Rugby players, on average.

 

[crazydiamond]

You just need to find a "good" MMA school to toughen you up.

 

[drop bear]

You just need to find a "good" MMA school to toughen you up.

Go one better.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

If the OP is still reading this:

What you're describing is a panic attack. The best thing to do is go to a therapist and tell him you're having a panic attack, then see if he can work with you to help you overcome them. If you don't want to do that, I would say that the art doesn't really matter. What you want to look for is an art that has different levels of sparring and/or randori or beginner/intermediate/advanced classes, because thats about as close to exposure therapy or systematic desensitization as you're going to get, without being reckless/stupid. If you want me to clarify what any of that is or have any other questions, pm me and I'll help you out.

 

[pgsmith]

If the OP is still reading this:

What you're describing is a panic attack. The best thing to do is go to a therapist and tell him you're having a panic attack, then see if he can work with you to help you overcome them.

It did not sound like a panic attack to me. What the OP described sounds like a normal person's response to being in a possibly bad situation. A panic attack is that same response in an unrelated situation, and they make it impossible to function normally. Therapy is not necessary to deal with a sudden increase in adrenalin. Of course, if it IS symptoms of a panic attack, then starting any martial art will reveal that as it will happen regularly. Then he can go talk to a qualified therapist.

It is not generally a good idea to offer definitive diagnoses over the internet in my opinion.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

From how I read it, OP was implying that this happens any time there's a possibility of a fight (which can seriously inhibit his life, which would qualify it as a panic attack). Reading it over, he never stated that it was every time there was a possibility, so i must have jumped to that conclusion.

I did not intend to give a definitive diagnoses; it is why I said he should see a therapist. If I am wrong, they will inform the person, but it is better to find out before doing something that can make it worse, which a high-intensity art or any MMA gym (which is what people outside of here might suggest) might do. I should have written "you think you're having a panic attack" not "tell him you're having a panic attack", but I definitely did not mean it to be definitive, just that he should see someone first.

 

[Ironbear24]

I would also like to add that I am not afraid of individuals in the sense of "I am afraid of what he will do to me", but rather afraid of fights in general: adrenaline spike makes me act with primal instincts, everything goes blurry, my chest is heavy and (yes) I feel like crying.

Well for starters, do not refer to yourself as ScardyCat. That's a pretty big confidence killer right there. The only thing I can suggest is get into sparring, trust your sensei and other instructors, and keep in mind. All of your enemies are also made of skin and bone and muscle fibers like you are, they are just as capable of being broken and beaten. With experience will come confidence.

I myself have been there, and sometimes I still get scared especially since all the fights are someone much much bigger than me, I am not a small guy, but when it comes to bullies, they are often going to be bigger than you. Experience will build confidence and don't be afraid to "fight dirty" in a real fight, but do not do this when sparring of course.