Need help please!

[Skitch]

Hello I'm a 25 year old male in a wheelchair. To make a long story short, I have someone across the street from us who is giving us problems. He tried punching my Mother several times the other night and is threatening our lives. Now, we contacted the police but you know how the Law can be, nothing can be done until he actually does something first. I can't get into the whole details but I have taken care of my Mom for protection for her. Basically I'm going to order her pepper spray for when she's out as well as a Taser which I was thinking 600,000 volts should be enough?

Now as for myself, I sleep downstairs in my wheelchair. This man in the past has held a knife to my stomach. God forbid he should ever break into our home, I want any protection I can get. Now, I can't use a gun nor will I so please, can we just forget about that? I do want a knife of some kind that I can keep with me at all times in the house, when I go to bed at night (I sleep in my wheelchair) and so on. I know NOTHING about knives and have read so much about them but still am so confused of what to buy. Here's one of my problems...... I don't have a lot of money because I can't work, my Father lost his leg last year and has been out of work, plus I'm on kidney dialysis 7 days a week at home that costs money. So yeah, money is very tight. I know there are very good quality knives out there for $200-$300+ and would love to get one but can't afford it. The MOST I could do is $100 and that's pushing it. So, could someone PLEASE post some links with ideas of what a good, strong quality knife would be? I'm guessing blade would be 4 to 6 inches and I'm looking for a folding one so that it can be concealed and not always out please.

I was looking at like knives like this but don't know if the blade is strong and sharp enough for protection: http://www.uniqueblade.com/products..._Faux_Carbon_Fiber_Tactical_by_FB-274-18.html

Again, please can someone just give me some links so I can choose one as soon as possible and put my mind at ease? My family and I haven't been able to sleep for a few nights now and we are living like were in jail, doors locked, windows locked, shades closed and I'm tired of it.

Please..... Thank you

 

[Flying Crane]

geeze man, I think you really really really need to be working with law enforcement on this one. Sounds like the guy has a history of attempted violence against you, punching your mother, holding a knife to your stomach. I think law enforcement ought to have enough to step in at this point. You could also get a lawyer and get a restraining order against this guy, at least it's a step in the right direction.

Given the situation, I just cannot recommend that you get a weapon like a knife. You don't know how to use it, you don't have time to develop the skills, sounds like you would have physical impairments that might make it more of a liability than an asset.

Go to the police, and keep hounding them until they do something about it.

 

[thardey]

Hmm, there's lot's of people on this board who can give you some advice of the knives themselves, but here's a couple of things that struck me.

One: If you're going to buy a knife to carry concealed, don't buy a switchblade or "automatic knife." Even here in Oregon, you can own and carry them, but you can't conceal them.

Two: Same goes for the double-edged knifes, any dirk, dagger, or stiletto is considered primarily a weapon (as opposed to a tool), and you are going to face legal issues for carrying them concealed. Check your local laws.

Three: Length is an issue as well -- check your laws. Where do you live? Odds are that someone else here know where to direct you to get a good summary of knife laws in your state.

If something does happen, you want to be covered legally, defending yourself with that thing will put you into a much more suspicious light than defending yourself with a one-handed opening folding knife, which are common, and cheaper.

Take a look at this site (warning: adult language) and really take stock of how well prepared you are emotionally to defend with a knife. I believe it's much harder than a gun. But you've got your own reasons for that, and I respect that. Just realize that actually defending with a knife is brutal, ugly, and will probably leave serious emotional scars. It's better to prepare for that ahead of time.

Another good site to check out is UseofForce.us for a clear headed start to the legal aspects of self-defense. If money is tight, remember that any encounter using a knife is going to cost a lot in attorney fees, court fees, and defense. Doing your homework now can save you a lot of money down the road. Another thought, get an attorney involved now! It's cheaper to get one on retainer and have one, than to get one after the fact. Plus, they can give you options on what you can do legally before something happens. Advice on restraining orders, etc, are invaluable in this type of situation. Save the money on the knife, use it for a lawyer. And do what they say!

As for the pepper spray, I wouldn't put too much faith in it. Run a search on the discussions of pepper spray in the general weapons section. It's eye-opening.

The tazer may be a better deal for both you and your Mom. If you get one that shoots out, you'll have better defense against his knife than knife dueling from a wheelchair. Again, others are more familiar with them than I, and can help you with a specific model or type.

Or what may be the best -- If you can, move! Find another apartment and get out. It's not "justice" but it's survival.

 

[arnisador]

geeze man, I think you really really really need to be working with law enforcement on this one. Sounds like the guy has a history of attempted violence against you, punching your mother, holding a knife to your stomach. I think law enforcement ought to have enough to step in at this point. You could also get a lawyer and get a restraining order against this guy, at least it's a step in the right direction.

Given the situation, I just cannot recommend that you get a weapon like a knife. You don't know how to use it, you don't have time to develop the skills, sounds like you would have physical impairments that might make it more of a liability than an asset.

Go to the police, and keep hounding them until they do something about it.

I'm in full agreement with the quoted post (and the one that follows it). Invest that money in a video camera (I got one for my wife for $144 for Xmas that tapes for an hour) and get recorded evidence of the next incident.

 

[LuzRD]

ill start by saying that i agree with everyone else here so far, AND that i agree that you need to be able to defend yourself!
READ THARDEYS POST AGAIN!!! (a couple more times actually, its on the money and no nonsense)

Given the situation, I just cannot recommend that you get a weapon like a knife. You don't know how to use it, you don't have time to develop the skills, sounds like you would have physical impairments that might make it more of a liability than an asset.

right on the money IMO

first things first, get a surveillance camera, or at very least one of the disposable one time use video cameras (theyre cheap and can provide some proof).
of course that proof counts for nothing to you if the next time is the time someone gets hurt or killed!! so i agree that you will need to be able to protect yourself and your family.
im bewildered that you have counted out your best (if not ony) means of self protection. take a gun course and buy a pistol, and be ready to use it if NEED be! (need=someone is in immediate danger and is going to be harmed or killed if no action is taken)
pepper spray is a good start, so long as its understood that it should be used to slow down an attacker, and NOT as a sure fire way to immobilize!
by taser, do you mean taser or stun gun? a stun gun is only effective at arms length. which means that by the time you can use it your already in alot of trouble! both of which (pepper spray and taser) must be carried in a way that is accesible in a moments notice (not "somewhere" in your moms purse, or in the glovebox of the car etc...) such as pepper spray on a key ring (for those that carry thier keys in their hand and not in the purse or buried in a pocket...)

a knife is very dangerous to someone who does not have the mindset or ability to properly wield it IMO. and ive always been told that if you get in a knife fight you WILL get cut, so be prepared IF this is your ONLY means.

http://www.uniqueblade.com/products..._Faux_Carbon_Fiber_Tactical_by_FB-274-18.html i dont like it! (or anything automatic, especially in the $10-$30 range)

http://www.coldsteel.com/folding-knives.html i like coldsteel for the price to quality ratio. the ak-47 blade looks about right for you or the recon-1 line

ask yourself "would you rather be tried by twelve, or carried away by 6?" and act accordingly (buy a pistol ::hint hint:: and learn proper safety!)

 

[Ceicei]

Skitch,

Help us out here a bit... Where do you live (city/state)? That will help us in giving you better feedback... and suggestions/resources available in your area. If we know where, some of us will be able explain more about the laws of your area, what can and cannot be done and this may save you some unnecessary legal headaches down the road.

There are many great advice given already upthread. Listen carefully and decide which works for your situation.

- Ceicei

 

[Skitch]

Well, I'm not trying to be smart but at this point I don't care. If this man breaks into our house, I am going to have ANYTHING I can that will give me a better chance of protecting myself. Not only that, we did go to Law enforcement and like I said, they said nothing can be done until he does something. So in other words, unless he breaks into the house, punches my Mom or hurts myself or Dad, they can't do anything.

I am coming here asking for help to people who know knives. If no one wants to help me, I can respect that but I'm going to get something any way. I haven't slept in a few nights and if this helps me sleep better at night, so be it. I'd rather be steered somewhere more correctly in an area on which knife to choose then me ending up buying something is isn't any good and being a waste of money.......

 

[thardey]

Well, I'm not trying to be smart but at this point I don't care. If this man breaks into our house, I am going to have ANYTHING I can that will give me a better chance of protecting myself. Not only that, we did go to Law enforcement and like I said, they said nothing can be done until he does something. So in other words, unless he breaks into the house, punches my Mom or hurts myself or Dad, they can't do anything.

I am coming here asking for help to people who know knives. If no one wants to help me, I can respect that but I'm going to get something any way. I haven't slept in a few nights and if this helps me sleep better at night, so be it. I'd rather be steered somewhere more correctly in an area on which knife to choose then me ending up buying something is isn't any good and being a waste of money.......

Knives aren't complicated. Go to [GI] Joe's or a local Army surplus store and buy a one-handed opener (the kind with the thumb-nut that you can "flick" open -- they're legal about anywhere.) Get the biggest one you can afford and can handle. Should run you about $60. Anything less than $20 is probably cheap steel.

Once you've done that, prepare emotionally and physically. A knife isn't going to scare anybody, so you've got to figure that "using" a knife involves blood -- a lot of it.

Think about getting a small-bright flashlight to keep with you at night. If he comes into your house, shine the flashlight in his eyes and attack.

Good luck to you.

 

[Andy Moynihan]

Take a look at this site (warning: adult language) and really take stock of how well prepared you are emotionally to defend with a knife. I believe it's much harder than a gun. But you've got your own reasons for that, and I respect that. Just realize that actually defending with a knife is brutal, ugly, and will probably leave serious emotional scars. It's better to prepare for that ahead of time.

.

From the same site, with the same language warning, but a bit more specific in addressing what cost comes along with knife use:

http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/costknife.htm

I won't say don't prepare, I do say know what is waiting.

Best of luck to you and yours.

 

[KenpoTex]

As has been stated, keep in contact with law-enforcement. Try to get a restraining order, it won't protect you but it will create a paper-trail and help establish justification if you end up having to use force.

As for your weapons options:

• Tasers (the ones that shoot the darts) are usually effective but they are control devices, not self-defense tools. They momentarily incapacitate an aggressor but then you're left with a guy who will be getting back up in a few seconds and is now really pissed off at you. Stun guns, the ones that require you to make contact with the person are absolutely worthless. They are only good for playing pranks on your buddies or scaring the cat...they suck.
• OC/Pepper-Spray is not a bad option, but once again, it's a control device. In the self-defense context it is only really appropriate as a deterrant (against a low-level threat) or as a distraction to buy you time to use a higher level of force or to escape. Get some (buy either Fox Labs or Sabre Red) but don't depend on it if the guy kicks down your door or comes at you with a knife.
• Knives...a knife is a very effective tool in the right context. It will not be optimal for you because of your specific circumstances (reduced mobility and reach due to being in a wheel-chair). I'm not saying you shouldn't get one, but it shouldn't be your primary option. I would recommend a push-dagger due to the fact that I feel PD's are the most intuitive and easiest to use. Due to their design, they are more compact than a traditional fixed-blade with the same blade-length. Cold Steel makes some really good ones (take a look at the "Safekeeper II")
  For a folder, in the size envelope you specified, I'd look at the Cold Steel "Voyager" series. They have models with blades 3, 4, 5, and 6" in length. Good knives for a reasonable price. If you like the looks of any of the knives on that site, Google the model to find the lowest price, don't buy it off the CS website.

Now, I can't use a gun nor will I so please, can we just forget about that? I

Can't? as in "not legally allowed to own one?" If you are legally able to own one, why won't you? In your situation a firearm will be your best choice for a defensive weapon. They give you a measure of range and effectiveness that you will not get from any other weapon and with your disability, a firearm is the weapon that you can use most effectively. I understand that you have financial considerations, however, you should be able to find a used pump-action shotgun (I'd recommend 20 gauge for the lighter recoil) for somewhere between $150 and $250.

 

[Skitch]

Thank you to everyone that has offered there help, insight and opinions. I have to do what I have to do to protect my family as best as I can....... I talked to my friend who is a cop and told him I wanted something for the home to protect us. He made it clear that if that man should break into our home, we would be allowed to do whatever we had to do to protect ourselves at ALL costs and that's what I want to be prepared for.....

Question for when I choose a knife from one of the sites given to me, what do I have to do for up keep with the blade? Will a site like that if you know of send the knife with the blade sharpened? I want to buy a sharpener of some kind, something that maybe is mechanical? I know there is a ton of different knife sharpeners out there anywhere from $3.99 on up but I've read a lot of things where if you don't get a good knife sharpener, it can actually weakened the blade and make it less sharp. I really DON'T want that to happen, so could you recommend something for me to get? Then, if you were me, would you sharpen the blade when it comes in or how often would you up keep in sharpening the blade and whatever else I would have to do to up keep?

 

[swiftpete]

Surely if you bought a knife unless you were using it all the time it's not going to go blunt? You can buy great big knives more than capable of killing someone from any hardware shop, supermarket etc etc for about as much money as you'd spend on a drink. They might not look great but they're big solid pieces of sharp metal.
Supermarkets etc also sell cheap knife sharpeners for practically no money. If you really want a knife and are completely skint I wouldnt bother spending hundreds on a fancy one that you'll probably never use anyway. I'd probably use my money on something more useful if I were you like maybe moving house.
You say your dad is there. What is he doing about the situation? Is he able bodied?

 

[shesulsa]

Jeez. I'm flabbergasted.

I'm amazed that being threatened with a knife isn't enough to pop this guy in the pokey overnight.

ABSOLUTELY get a restraining order.

But I'm curious as to the choice of knife as opposed to firearm? I don't want to pry or make you feel uncomfortable, but if you really feel a knife is your best choice or if firearms are out of the question, then I'd look at tasers as well.

The sites recommended thus far are excellent.

I'd recommend a perimeter alarm - usually relatively inexpensive and available at home improvement stores. It will trigger once someone passes a certain point on your property and will sound an alarm indoors - this can be the sound of a gentle chime, a doorbell or something more alarming if need be. You'll at least have some preparation time no matter who's coming up the walk, across the lawn, etcetera.

You need to talk to someone in your area who will work with you individually and give you the skills you need to handle a hand-to-hand situation - especially a weapons situation.

Talk to the ARC near you and see if they have anyone on the roster, make some phone calls if you can to some local martial arts places and ask your police friend if he knows anyone who could help you learn some stuff.

And thanks - you've just woken me up to something I should have done a long time ago.

 

[bdparsons]

Given the situation, I just cannot recommend that you get a weapon like a knife. You don't know how to use it, you don't have time to develop the skills, sounds like you would have physical impairments that might make it more of a liability than an asset.

Go to the police, and keep hounding them until they do something about it.

Sound advice, listen to this man.

Respects,
Bill Parsons
Triangle Kenpo Institute

 

[Skitch]

Surely if you bought a knife unless you were using it all the time it's not going to go blunt? You can buy great big knives more than capable of killing someone from any hardware shop, supermarket etc etc for about as much money as you'd spend on a drink. They might not look great but they're big solid pieces of sharp metal.
Supermarkets etc also sell cheap knife sharpeners for practically no money. If you really want a knife and are completely skint I wouldnt bother spending hundreds on a fancy one that you'll probably never use anyway. I'd probably use my money on something more useful if I were you like maybe moving house.
You say your dad is there. What is he doing about the situation? Is he able bodied?

No, my Dad isn't able body. He lost his leg last JAN and is handicap himself.

I think some of you aren't getting the whole picture. Between my Dad and I, we are both handicap. This man across the street is not someone we want to mess with or take any chances. Now, my Mother is 5'2 woman who we can not protect very much. We aren't comfortable owning a gun and if that's the way my family feels, I want to go the next route. So as I said, I want my Mom to have pepper spray so when she is out and is coming in at night, she has SOME type of protection incase he should try and punch her again when he's drunk or high. I also want protection for myself incase he should try and hit me or harm me in any way. I feel the most comfortable with a knife at this point. That is better then having nothing......

We also can't move because we don't have the money. I'm on kidney dialysis 7 days a week, my Dad lost his job after losing his leg and my Grandpop at 80 is helping pay our bills. Dialysis and my medical needs are VERY costly.

 

[Skitch]

Jeez. I'm flabbergasted.

I'm amazed that being threatened with a knife isn't enough to pop this guy in the pokey overnight.

ABSOLUTELY get a restraining order.

But I'm curious as to the choice of knife as opposed to firearm? I don't want to pry or make you feel uncomfortable, but if you really feel a knife is your best choice or if firearms are out of the question, then I'd look at tasers as well.

The sites recommended thus far are excellent.

I'd recommend a perimeter alarm - usually relatively inexpensive and available at home improvement stores. It will trigger once someone passes a certain point on your property and will sound an alarm indoors - this can be the sound of a gentle chime, a doorbell or something more alarming if need be. You'll at least have some preparation time no matter who's coming up the walk, across the lawn, etcetera.

You need to talk to someone in your area who will work with you individually and give you the skills you need to handle a hand-to-hand situation - especially a weapons situation.

Talk to the ARC near you and see if they have anyone on the roster, make some phone calls if you can to some local martial arts places and ask your police friend if he knows anyone who could help you learn some stuff.

And thanks - you've just woken me up to something I should have done a long time ago.

Do you or anyone else recommend a stun gun over another as well as which is the best pepper spray to buy?

 

[Andy Moynihan]

Anybody that sells pepper spray should be able to point you at a number of brands that have, mixed into the spray, either an indelible ink or ink that shows up under UV light. There'll be your proof in positively identifying him as the attacker if you choose to go this route.

 

[KenpoTex]

Do you or anyone else recommend a stun gun over another as well as which is the best pepper spray to buy?

As I said in my first post, STUN GUNS SUCK!
seriously, don't waste your money with a stun gun. As far as OC, "Fox Labs" and "Sabre Red" are two of the best.

We aren't comfortable owning a gun and if that's the way my family feels, I want to go the next route.

Maybe y'all need to have a family meeting and seriously discuss this...

 

[kaizasosei]

could you maybe give us a little bit more information as to what this guys problem is.?? i mean, why is he on your case? is it completely senseless or are there some issues that are being discussed or any arguments in the past??
it might help a little to know this. otherwise, i suggest you either find more peaceful ways of solving the situation of conflict. not knowing the exact situation, it's hard to say and this might sound silly but the best would be to neutralize the conflict in a human way. -love your neighbor,right.? otherwise, just call the cops on him in a really unemotional and nothing personal way. calling the police would be a good way of protecting yourself if you have the chance. however, i still think that sorting things out without having to resort to police might be the best. ultimately, only you can decide what the correct course of action is.

if i were you, the first thing i would do is not get a knife, but i would first try to get rid of any unnecessary fears. fears tend to spawn more negativity and conflicts. i trust that without fear, you will be more able to deal with the conflict in a human way and if it really comes down to violence, through fearlessness, courage to defend yourself and family will be more likely.

so this guy just gets all liquored up and then starts threatening you and pulling knives on you..?? what a freak! what in gods name is going on in that intoxicated mind of his?

j

 

[jks9199]

Jeez. I'm flabbergasted.

I'm amazed that being threatened with a knife isn't enough to pop this guy in the pokey overnight.

ABSOLUTELY get a restraining order.

But I'm curious as to the choice of knife as opposed to firearm? I don't want to pry or make you feel uncomfortable, but if you really feel a knife is your best choice or if firearms are out of the question, then I'd look at tasers as well.

The sites recommended thus far are excellent.

I'd recommend a perimeter alarm - usually relatively inexpensive and available at home improvement stores. It will trigger once someone passes a certain point on your property and will sound an alarm indoors - this can be the sound of a gentle chime, a doorbell or something more alarming if need be. You'll at least have some preparation time no matter who's coming up the walk, across the lawn, etcetera.

You need to talk to someone in your area who will work with you individually and give you the skills you need to handle a hand-to-hand situation - especially a weapons situation.

Talk to the ARC near you and see if they have anyone on the roster, make some phone calls if you can to some local martial arts places and ask your police friend if he knows anyone who could help you learn some stuff.

And thanks - you've just woken me up to something I should have done a long time ago.

So am I.

The OP has described assault and threats on fairly helpless victims. He's attempted to carry out a threat against the OP's mother. But the police can't do anything?

I kind of doubt it... or there's information that's not being given.

He's willing to carry a knife, with no clue how to use it... but not get something that would actually be effective like a gun.

I'm skeptical. I'm very, very skeptical. Especially as his tale of woes grows longer.

On the off chance that the story is true...

I recommend two "weapons" to defend against this guy. The first is a cell phone to call 911. The second is a baseball bat or similar item. I think it's much more likely he could effectively employ a bat much more quickly and ably than a knife, with much less training.

I do concur with Kenpotex; a Taser, even the civilian model with the 20 or 30 second ride, is completely inappropriate given the circumstances. And I'd not recommend any other stun gun device that I've seen on the market to anyone; only Taser's product has the Neuromuscular Incapacitation pulse. Pain can be overcome, but the NMI is freakishly effective. But it remains really a tool for subdueing someone and controlling them for an arrest, not really for self defense.