My new position as the USG of the World Sport Karate Federation

[Kong Soo Do]

Receive great news that I was nominated for a position in the World Sport Karate Federation. I'm sure it was an oversight that I was nominated for a position 'in' the Federation rather than 'over' it as a whole. I'm sure it was the broken English. I'll clear that up when I take office. I replied to the good news as follows via email:

Thank you. I can only accept the supreme leadership role over your organization if you provide a personal plane for my use while doing seminars, work shops, general teaching and of course vacations. Please advise me of the type of plane you can provide for my use. I'm assuming of course that it will be a jet and not a propeller driven plane.

Upon my acceptance as the supreme leader over your organization I will have no choice but to downgrade everyone's title to that of master, as there can be only one Grand Master and that of course would be me. And as such, anyone using the title of Dr. will need to provide verification that they have medical training. I won't allow these fake martial arts Ph.D.'s in the organization. A new fee structure will be quickly instituted with only a modest increase over the current rate, all of course going to me.

Great to receive this position over your organization, the only thing I would wonder is why it took you so long? At any rate, you'll now have the benefit of having my signature on your certificates which in and of itself is priceless.

Ultimate, Supreme Grandmaster

Got a reply back from them. Hard to understand broken English but it appears they're honored to have a Supreme Grandmaster interested and want me to fill out their registration. I just zipped off a reply:

You want me to fill out a form telling you about my qualifications? Why, aren't you already aware of them? How can you nominate someone to take over your entire federation if you don't already know their vast and unquestionable credentials. Is this what you're doing, questioning my unquestionable credentials? When I take over the federation the first thing I'm going to do is fire the person that sends out the emails! At any rate, just put me down for a 10th Dan in every known art. Even the ones that don't use the Dan system. That should about cover it.

Anyway, about my plane, you haven't yet told me what kind of plane you are getting me. By the way, I like blue.

Oh, another thing that I will do upon taking my rightful place as the Ultimate, Supreme Grandmaster over your federation is to reduce everyone by two Dan grades. Keeps them humble so you might want to pass the word.

Well enough for now, let me know about the plane. Oh, and any reply email needs to use my full title.

Ultimate Supreme Grandmaster

Gosh I hope I get a reply, I'm really juiced up about getting my own plane. Make getting to work a lot easier!

 

[Takai]

I live pretty close to an airport. Think you could swing by and pick me up for the next seminar?

 

[K-man]

Mmm! Kong, need I remind you? You must keep taking those little blue pills. You know the trouble you can find yourself in when you stop them. Weren't you the Grand Poo Ba of Outer Mongolia last time you stopped? Remember how that ended in tears?
:hmm:

 

[K-man]

I live pretty close to an airport. Think you could swing by and pick me up for the next seminar?

Mate, send me your address and I'll get you some pills too.

 

[Dirty Dog]

Mmm! Kong, need I remind you? You must keep taking those little blue pills. You know the trouble you can find yourself in when you stop them. Weren't you the Grand Poo Ba of Outer Mongolia last time you stopped? Remember how that ended in tears?
:hmm:

Wow, talk about a topic shift...

Starts with USG of the WSKF and now it's erectile dysfunction???

 

[K-man]

Wow, talk about a topic shift...

Starts with USG of the WSKF and now it's erectile dysfunction???

I know the blue pills you're taking! Just be careful at your age. Young women can be very demanding.

 

[Kong Soo Do]

I live pretty close to an airport. Think you could swing by and pick me up for the next seminar?

Absolutely! I'm expecting one of the big planes :lol:

I know the blue pills you're taking! Just be careful at your age. Young women can be very demanding.

I took one of those pills once, just to see what would happen. Got stuck in my throat and gave me a stiff neck :ladysman:

(Ba da bum, I'm here till Thursday, try the veal).

 

[Takai]

Mate, send me your address and I'll get you some pills too.

I already took the red one.

 

[BrendonR]

Congratulations.

 

[Kong Soo Do]

Congratulations.

You realize I was joking right?

 

[oftheherd1]

You realize I was joking right?

Oh drat!!!

I was so looking forward to petitioning you for the position of Super Master, after you had downgraded all the current members. I would have handled all the frivolous complaints I expected you to get from those ingrates who did not understand their extreme good fortune in having you for their Grand Master.

Well, there goes my happy day. sigh.

EDIT: I was even going to volunteer to drive your new airplane for you. I'm not a pilot, but I have ridden in a lot of planes, helicopters too. Not to mention all the model airplanes I built as a child. One more high aspiration cruelly shot down.

 

[Tony Dismukes]

So what was the content of the original e-mail you got? I'm assuming it was some sort of spam asking for money in exchange for the privilege of saying you were a member of their federation?

 

[Kong Soo Do]

Oh drat!!!

I was so looking forward to petitioning you for the position of Super Master, after you had downgraded all the current members. I would have handled all the frivolous complaints I expected you to get from those ingrates who did not understand their extreme good fortune in having you for their Grand Master.

Well, there goes my happy day. sigh.

EDIT: I was even going to volunteer to drive your new airplane for you. I'm not a pilot, but I have ridden in a lot of planes, helicopters too. Not to mention all the model airplanes I built as a child. One more high aspiration cruelly shot down.

Sure, I'll do the Super Master thing for you. In fact, for just a tad more I'll make it a Super Ninja Master. That makes it more special. That way if I get complaints I'll tell them to go talk to the SNM, I'm sure that will weed out 50% right there.

I forgot to ask about stewardess for my plane. I would expect one from each nationality...oh wait, maybe that's a harem :dramaqueen:

So what was the content of the original e-mail you got? I'm assuming it was some sort of spam asking for money in exchange for the privilege of saying you were a member of their federation?

Yeah, I was one of literally hundreds of spam recipients for this org, IIRC in India. Nominating me for rank and a position in their organization. I get these fairly often so I was filling silly one morning and figured I'd have some fun. Never expected a reply. Kinda hope I get another one.

:rofl:

 

[WaterGal]

Hahaha, wow. Haven't gotten one of those yet, though we did get some guy from.... Iran, maybe, or Pakistan, that e-mailed us saying basically he wanted to come work for us if only we helped him get a work visa to the US.

 

[oftheherd1]

Sure, I'll do the Super Master thing for you. In fact, for just a tad more I'll make it a Super Ninja Master. That makes it more special. That way if I get complaints I'll tell them to go talk to the SNM, I'm sure that will weed out 50% right there.

I forgot to ask about stewardess for my plane. I would expect one from each nationality...oh wait, maybe that's a harem :dramaqueen:



Yeah, I was one of literally hundreds of spam recipients for this org, IIRC in India. Nominating me for rank and a position in their organization. I get these fairly often so I was filling silly one morning and figured I'd have some fun. Never expected a reply. Kinda hope I get another one.

:rofl:

Well, if it's open for negotiation ...

Since the only martial arts I have studied were Korean, I cannot accept the Super Ninja Master title. I would have to insist on the Super Yeon GaeSoMun Master rank, 1st Class Order, Red Sash, with two black strips on the ends. I understand that might be a little more cost, but I think I can offset that by volunteering to supervise your harem.

 

[Buka]

Dude! That's awesome!

I strongly suggest you get busy with marketing. I will gladly be your minister of propaganda. Perhaps you can start with a black belt program for embryos. I mean, why wait until eight years old to wear a black belt? You could use this as an ad. (I hope I posted this right)

 

[Tony Dismukes]

Dude! That's awesome!

I strongly suggest you get busy with marketing. I will gladly be your minister of propaganda. Perhaps you can start with a black belt program for embryos. I mean, why wait until eight years old to wear a black belt? You could use this as an ad. (I hope I posted this right)

I'm told some of those embryos can kick pretty hard.

 

[Prostar]

I believe those are called "Fight Attendants".