zDom
Senior Master
So Lindsey getting busted AGAIN for drunk driving and cocaine got me thinking: this latest set of starlets obviously are in deperate need of some services.
So I am going to rent myself out as a one-stop shop of services.
For the low, low price of, I dunno, $100k per year plus room and board? (price is negotiable)
I will offer the following:
• Chauffer services for those late-night party binges. Will ride "shotgun" during pre-party activities so they can enjoy driving their cars but will take the wheel once alcohol is imbibed. This service alone should be worth the annual retainer.
• Physical protection from paparazzi, friends who (but for my sober, watchful eye) might drop incriminating substances in their purses and other harrassments and dangers as they may present themselves.
• "Mentoring" in the form of non-judgmental advice upon request (and occassional unsolicited but useful advice such as reminding them to put on their panties before venturing forth onto the party scene/retrieve the same upon leaving private encounters or that shaving their head MAY be regretted in the near future)
• Personal training / self-defense sessions for starlet and/or any other interested staff/entourage members. Naked grappling will be part of the course for all female parties as date rape is surely a hazard of being a drunk, party girl.
Obviously this kind of personal attention will require full-time attention so I will be hiring additional martial artists as clients sign up for the service.
Feel free to send your resumes. Cool sunglasses will be provided upon securing a position.
I haven't worked out ALL the details, so suggestions are welcome
So I am going to rent myself out as a one-stop shop of services.
For the low, low price of, I dunno, $100k per year plus room and board? (price is negotiable)
I will offer the following:
• Chauffer services for those late-night party binges. Will ride "shotgun" during pre-party activities so they can enjoy driving their cars but will take the wheel once alcohol is imbibed. This service alone should be worth the annual retainer.
• Physical protection from paparazzi, friends who (but for my sober, watchful eye) might drop incriminating substances in their purses and other harrassments and dangers as they may present themselves.
• "Mentoring" in the form of non-judgmental advice upon request (and occassional unsolicited but useful advice such as reminding them to put on their panties before venturing forth onto the party scene/retrieve the same upon leaving private encounters or that shaving their head MAY be regretted in the near future)
• Personal training / self-defense sessions for starlet and/or any other interested staff/entourage members. Naked grappling will be part of the course for all female parties as date rape is surely a hazard of being a drunk, party girl.
Obviously this kind of personal attention will require full-time attention so I will be hiring additional martial artists as clients sign up for the service.
Feel free to send your resumes. Cool sunglasses will be provided upon securing a position.
I haven't worked out ALL the details, so suggestions are welcome
