Moral Dilemma

[granfire]

back story:
My kid is in the scouts. Last meeting personal property went missing and ended up in his bag...and no, he did not swipe it. The guilty party did not come forward, nor did the other kids speak up. (It seemed to have beenn a prank gone bad)

Now, they do know who did it though. My kid told me this morning, and how the kids are going to take matters into their own hands come next camp out...

I don't want to say anything, but really don't think I can let it go either...

Do I hint at the Scoutmaster?

 

[Big Don]

I don't know. Just trust that your kid has been taught to do the right thing and hope for the best?

 

[granfire]

I don't know. Just trust that your kid has been taught to do the right thing and hope for the best?

true, but now it's up to me to do the right thing, since now I know...or do I...sigh...

 

[ballen0351]

I would tell the scout leader. Kids are not mature enough to "take matters in there own hands" they can easily take something too far and not even know and then someone gets hurt.

 

[rlobrecht]

I agree. Boys shouldn't decide or implement punishment, even if your Troop is boy-led. I'd suggest you mention it to the Scoutmaster. I'd also talk to your son about him telling the Scoutmaster. Especially if the other boy could end up getting hurt.

Rick

 

[Steve]

true, but now it's up to me to do the right thing, since now I know...or do I...sigh...

Now that you know, you have a duty to act. That's my opinion. I would consider the context and not make it any bigger than it needs to be, but "taking it into their own hands" sounds ominous and also has the potential to go very wrong, too.

Edit: After reading the entire thread, I could as easily have said, "What ballen said." I think he's exactly right.

 

[bushidomartialarts]

Do you know what the kids have planned?

If they plan to respond in kind - with a clever and well-executed prank - why not let them have it? Prank wars were one of my favorite parts of scouting.

If you suspect they're going to get violent, or over the top, you should probably intervene.

Perhaps the solution is to let the adults know, but also let the response run its course. If you're all aware, you can mitigate damage while letting the kid get his just rewards.

Just my thoughts

 

[granfire]

well, I think the term mentioned was 'blanket party' (yes, I know what it means)

I did tell the kid I thought it was not a good idea.

I will talk to the Scoutmaster next meeting.

 

[billc]

Talk to the scoutmaster and have him call a meeting of the parents. then have a good talk with all the scouts about what happened. Get it in the open with everyone involved and it might lead to something productive.

 

[Sukerkin]

Quite so. The Scouts, as part of their reason for being, should be taught to recognise the 'moral high ground' when they see it.

A blanket party revenge is hardly in keeping with that - it's the Scouts not Full Metal Jacket after all .

It's not easy but this might be an opportunity to get some good points across about the line between right and wrong and what personal integrity means.

 

[LuckyKBoxer]

back story:
My kid is in the scouts. Last meeting personal property went missing and ended up in his bag...and no, he did not swipe it. The guilty party did not come forward, nor did the other kids speak up. (It seemed to have beenn a prank gone bad)

Now, they do know who did it though. My kid told me this morning, and how the kids are going to take matters into their own hands come next camp out...

I don't want to say anything, but really don't think I can let it go either...

Do I hint at the Scoutmaster?

This seems like a no brainer.
You have to hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

you can hope your kid has been taught what he needs to know to make the right choices, and is strong enough to stand by his convictions..

but you need to plan for a worst case scenario and protect yourself and your family from potential dangers...

who can even guess what they are planning, and how many times have pranks gone awry and something disastrous happened?

 

[granfire]

Thanks.

 

[jks9199]

Do you know what the kids have planned?

If they plan to respond in kind - with a clever and well-executed prank - why not let them have it? Prank wars were one of my favorite parts of scouting.

If you suspect they're going to get violent, or over the top, you should probably intervene.

Perhaps the solution is to let the adults know, but also let the response run its course. If you're all aware, you can mitigate damage while letting the kid get his just rewards.

Just my thoughts

The Scoutmaster needs a heads-up -- but shouldn't intervene unless the response is seriously disproportionate or endangers someone.

Learning to take your lumps as well as give 'em is part of growing up.

EDIT:
OK... we know what WE mean by blanket party. What do they mean? How far are they actually willing to take it? Are we going to be talking about a beating, or something less?

 

[granfire]

The Scoutmaster needs a heads-up -- but shouldn't intervene unless the response is seriously disproportionate or endangers someone.

Learning to take your lumps as well as give 'em is part of growing up.

EDIT:
OK... we know what WE mean by blanket party. What do they mean? How far are they actually willing to take it? Are we going to be talking about a beating, or something less?

That is exactly the point I do not want to find out - the hard way at least. It's a group of up to 14 boys, things can go out of hand in that type of pack in a hurry...

I am basically of the persuasion that I don't want to know unless the blood is spewing and limbs are sticking out in unusual angles, but obviously that does not work in a more public setting...

 

[Blade96]

it would depend, as someone said, what they have planned.

i remember one year at girl guide camp, i wanted to get even with this girl who hated me and was gettin on my nerves....so i put a pile of weeds with insects on them in her sleeping bag (dont worry it was all harmless but no one wants insects in their bag no matter harmless or not lol) People went crazy tryin to find out whodunit maybe to 'get them back' no one suspected me, and i never confessed

 

[Tez3]

Do the adults know it wasn't your son who's responsible for the theft or only the boys? If it's only the boys, the adults need to be told as suspicion will still be falling on your son and no amount of action by the boys is going to stop that. Ideally the boy responsible needs to confess but if he's not likely to do that your son needs to have his name cleared publicly. Are the boys positive they knew who did it, if not any 'punishing' of someone is wrong. It could be the guilty boy pointing the finger at another innocent one. This needs to be sorted out properly, the adult leaders need to be told and proper action needs to be taken as there's a danger here of innocents being hurt and the guilty party getting away with it.

 

[granfire]

Do the adults know it wasn't your son who's responsible for the theft or only the boys? If it's only the boys, the adults need to be told as suspicion will still be falling on your son and no amount of action by the boys is going to stop that. Ideally the boy responsible needs to confess but if he's not likely to do that your son needs to have his name cleared publicly. Are the boys positive they knew who did it, if not any 'punishing' of someone is wrong. It could be the guilty boy pointing the finger at another innocent one. This needs to be sorted out properly, the adult leaders need to be told and proper action needs to be taken as there's a danger here of innocents being hurt and the guilty party getting away with it.

Thanks. I will talk to the Scoutmaster next meeting.