Looking for Peoples take on being avoided in class

[Tez3]

Not your fault at all. These are just the kind of people that want to do martial arts for the reputation and want to learn it without sweat & blood. Kind of an alibi thing.
Encountered plenty of them during my martial arts career and even had female black belts running out on me crying like little girls, not because I overdid it on them but because they could not land any hits on me. These black belts became trainers later on themselves...makes you wonder.

I personally really hate training with kids/teenagers as the mix up is just a disadvantage for either one of them, either for the adult as he doesn't get anything out of sparring with a teen or child or for the child or teen as they feel overwhelmed by the often stronger and more experienced adult.

I am currently doing Shotokan Karate and we have tons of people who want to practice martial arts without the martial arts.....Unfortunately our dojo doesn't even have a punching bag hanging up or anything solid you can punch. If we are lucky our sensei gets some punching pads out from time to time we can hit in a controlled manner (lame).

You don't know that it's not his fault.

You seem quite anti female here, I'm not sure why you are training somewhere you are quite contemptuous about.

 

[Graywalker]

I have never felt comfortable training with women or children for that matter. I never did agree with adult classes, including under 18 yr old people in general. It caused me to leave a few schools,best back when.

 

[jobo]

You don't know that it's not his fault.

You seem quite anti female here, I'm not sure why you are training somewhere you are quite contemptuous about.

he has left tez, no point picking a fight with him, others did that and he left, "crying like a little girl"

 

[Gerry Seymour]

They don't have to consent to partnering with him for any reason. They also don't have to divulge their reasons if they don't want to. However, if the issue can be resolved (or at least articulated), then that could help. At the very least, it could give OP closure on the situation.

And it would be important for the school to have made an effort on this. If the girls have a reason they specifically want to avoid working with an individual (and are willing to share it), the school should want to know.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I have never felt comfortable training with women or children for that matter. I never did agree with adult classes, including under 18 yr old people in general. It caused me to leave a few schools,best back when.

My entire training has been classes that mixed ages. In striking arts, there might be 'tweens with the adults. In the grappling arts (both Judo and NGA), kids about 15/16 and up were often with the adults. I've never (from either side of the question) had a problem with it. But I'm not a female, and there may be a different perspective for some of them. I will say some of my best training partners have been among those teens, whether because they were fearless, or still had their youthful flexibility when grappling, or their sheer athleticism. Good training partners, many of them. Was fun seeing them grow up, too.

 

[jobo]

And it would be important for the school to have made an effort on this. If the girls have a reason they specifically want to avoid working with an individual (and are willing to share it), the school should want to know.

well perhaps they should

but as they already know the girls dont want to partner with him, there are three reasonable conclusion
1) they dont care
two) they asked and the girls wouldnt say
or three
they asked and the girls did say and they dont think it a problem or least not a problem they want to deal with beyond allowing the girls not to partner with him

as all sorts of serious issues seem to have fallen in to last two category over the years, we are not much further forward

 

[Graywalker]

My entire training has been classes that mixed ages. In striking arts, there might be 'tweens with the adults. In the grappling arts (both Judo and NGA), kids about 15/16 and up were often with the adults. I've never (from either side of the question) had a problem with it. But I'm not a female, and there may be a different perspective for some of them. I will say some of my best training partners have been among those teens, whether because they were fearless, or still had their youthful flexibility when grappling, or their sheer athleticism. Good training partners, many of them. Was fun seeing them grow up, too.

Yeah, never cared for any of that. I always felt they were to immature and overly cocky. And, in my experience to emotional. But to each their own.

 

[jobo]

Yeah, never cared for any of that. I always felt they were to immature and overly cocky. And, in my experience to emotional. But to each their own.

immaturity does seem to be an ongoing issue with children, I've noticed that as well

 

[Gerry Seymour]

well perhaps they should

but as they already know the girls dont want to partner with him, there are three reasonable conclusion
1) they dont care
two) they asked and the girls wouldnt say
or three
they asked and the girls did say and they dont think it a problem or least not a problem they want to deal with beyond allowing the girls not to partner with him

as all sorts of serious issues seem to have fallen in to last two category over the years, we are not much further forward

All irrelevant to my post. The quesstion should always be asked, to give people a chance to voice a complaint if they wish. The school should want to know.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Yeah, never cared for any of that. I always felt they were to immature and overly cocky. And, in my experience to emotional. But to each their own.

I've never run into much cockiness with teens. Perhaps because their training quickly taught them their limits. As for immaturity, I've found most teenagers to be about teenaged in their maturity. Which only presents problems in training when they "don't wanna". Kids like that don't usually last in training to that age.

 

[Graywalker]

immaturity does seem to be an ongoing issue with children, I've noticed that as well

My point exactly...never was interested in daycare dojo's.

 

[jobo]

My point exactly...never was interested in daycare dojo's.

not sure irony is your forte ,

 

[Graywalker]

not sure irony is your forte ,

I got your point, but you've seen to have missed mine.

I simply am not a fan of Daycare Dojo's.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I got your point, but you've seen to have missed mine.

I simply am not a fan of Daycare Dojo's.

I've never trained at one of those. The teens I've trained with were mostly working pretty hard on technique.

But I'm with you on the daycare thing. I don't really enjoy teaching kids.

 

[hoshin1600]

I would add that there are many men I myself don't like to train with. The sweaty types that splash at you with each move they make. There is nothing worse than nut sweat dripping in your face when grappling and your in North/South. Then there are the ones that their uniform smells like goat cheese. The guys that don't have a good sense of body control, they are erratic in their movements and generally a spazz and a danger to anyone close to them. Most often these people are totally unaware of their actions and effects on others.

 

[RTKDCMB]

I am a nice looking person. This angers me and I do not deserve this, nor did I do anything to warrant that treatment.

The fact that you refer to the way you look and are angered by the girls avoiding you may be a clue as to why they are avoiding you. Maybe you should look within before you look elsewhere.

 

[skribs]

@Martial D @RTKDCMB

Playing devil's advocate, it's possible that he means his demeaner, and not his aesthetics.

Not that it makes it much better, but at least a little less creepy.

 

[Balrog]

Hi, and thanks for having me MT and all.

I'm in my forties and I'm currently enrolled in an adult TKD program. I am currently a green belt. However, all the students are 18 and younger.

Sometimes my master would pair us off in 2's to kick the bag from opposite sides.
For the last two classes, two girls--one is a white belt(14-15ish) and the other(16-17ish,mixed) told the instructor that they'd rather kick the bag by their selves. I am a very nice person and usually try to ignore most things, but I did not do anything to them. I am also beginning to encounter this behavior from females of all ages at regular settings, in terms of avoidance.

I am a nice looking person. This angers me and I do not deserve this, nor did I do anything to warrant that treatment. Has anyone here had a similar experience?

Just looking for different takes and opinions because I am seriously growing more frustrated with people and their garbage nowadays. Please advise.

This is the millennial entitlement attitude. Your instructor needs to tell them to suck it up.

 

[MetalBoar]

This is the millennial entitlement attitude. Your instructor needs to tell them to suck it up.

It makes me feel old but the youngest millennials are now 26 or 27 years old now and the oldest are set to enter their 40's. Older Gen-Z'ers have already graduated from college and/or entered the workforce full time.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

It makes me feel old but the youngest millennials are now 26 or 27 years old now and the oldest are set to enter their 40's. Older Gen-Z'ers have already graduated from college and/or entered the workforce full time.

Millenials have become the replacement for "kids these days".