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Traditional Muay Thai fighters condition their shins. They can break an unconditioned leg with no problem.
The WC dummy conditions the arms it just conditions it softly. You may not have realized it because it was a by product of your primary focus. Each time your forearm hits the wood your bone slowly become more dense at the point of impact. This guy talks about the soft tapping that I've been talking about with conditioning. He stresses that people should start lightly and that it's not about smashing your arm into it. In this video the impact is the wrist and the hands, both back and front.
The purpose of the dummy in WC is not to condition the arms, but to practice position and structure. Ideally, one shouldn't be crashing into the dummy arms, but subtly deflecting and/or sliding past them. At least, that has been my instructors' take.
Granted, I think one naturally builds up a certain amount of conditioning even through normal practice. And, the dummy, even played properly and lightly, probably still helps some as well.
As for the pain being the same whether or not you're relaxed -- I don't find that to be the case. Tense your arm, holding it rigidly, and strike it. Now, extend your arm and maintain a soft composure, and allow it to be moved on the strike. Far less force will be transferred directly into the bone and tissue in the second case.
Or, try this: get a stick, and two coconuts. First, secure a coconut to a table, and strike it. Next, throw a coconut in the air, and strike it. You'll find it far harder to transfer force into breaking the one that you threw into the air, because it is not braced rigidly, but is allowed to be moved, absorbing energy. Only with a very fast and relaxed strike can you transfer energy into actually breaking it. It can be done, but it's far more difficult.
The WC dummy conditions the arms it just conditions it softly. You may not have realized it because it was a by product of your primary focus. Each time your forearm hits the wood your bone slowly become more dense at the point of impact. This guy talks about the soft tapping that I've been talking about with conditioning. He stresses that people should start lightly and that it's not about smashing your arm into it. In this video the impact is the wrist and the hands, both back and front.