Knowledge Transfer to Family

[ukiltmybrutha]

I would like to transfer my knowledge to my wife and children. I have some useable tae kwon do experience and I am obtaining some Hapkido/Yudo experience.

Due to scheduling conflicts, personal dispositions, and absolutely no family, support system or friends, my wife and children will not be attending any sort of class.

Do you have any thoughts on whether or not I could transfer knowledge over to them effectively?

Things have worked extremely well thus far with my wife and my 5 year old son.

I am not so sure about teaching my son hapkido/yudo yet, I am beginning to come to the conclusion that maybe those arts are better taught after the age of 12. It is also a little tough for my son not having a little sparring partner, but I am sure he loves beating me up.

I have also been leaving my wife kind of sore when she resists at 100% but so far we have worked it out by allowing her to apply the techniques on me 10 times as often.

I am not really into the "friends" thing.

Any thoughts on how to improve this "game"?

Thanks!

 

[Bruno@MT]

It depends.
If you do not have a degree that would qualify you as a teacher, then I would advise against it if they ever want to do those arts for real. Because if you are still a beginner, you will likely teach them things that are wrong. Then, if they ever start in a real dojo, they will have to un-learn many bad habits.

Of course if they don't, then that is less of a problem. In that case, they will be better off than if you don't teach them anything.

Just my 2 ct.

 

[ukiltmybrutha]

It depends.
If you do not have a degree that would qualify you as a teacher, then I would advise against it if they ever want to do those arts for real. Because if you are still a beginner, you will likely teach them things that are wrong. Then, if they ever start in a real dojo, they will have to un-learn many bad habits.

Of course if they don't, then that is less of a problem. In that case, they will be better off than if you don't teach them anything.

Just my 2 ct.

Excellent thoughts...never bothered to think of the harm I could cause concerning incorrect habits. I have "correct" habits that are "hurting" me in Hapkido, habits that I learned during TKD e.g. closed firsts.

I didn't get your last statement though. Say they never start in a real dojo, do you think they would still better off knowing nothing?

 

[ATC]

Old, old, old, school I see. Meaning that if you think about it this is how the Martial Arts progressed. You had a guy that knew how to fight and he showed his family and maybe a friend or relatives as well. Then that got passed down and added to and so on and so on.

This can work today also, however you have some issues at hand. One that was there life and they did this to protect themselves against invaders, crop burners or stealers, and to fight decades of wars. What is your motivation? What will keep you son and wife interested in your hobby? You can only do so much at home before it becomes more pain than fun. Why are they doing it and how do they compare their skill against anyone. Lot more how’s as well but even those few are enough.

In today’s age this is not practical. That is why it is not done this way anymore, times change. You can still practice at home and have fun with one another, but you go to a dojang, why not them. You can try it but without them having the same experience as you they get nothing but what you want them to have and maybe not even that.

Look at it like this. At any job you do, if you were to give a 2 weeks notice, then have to transfer the knowledge of you job to a co-worker that kind of saw what you did but did not do what you did fully. How well do you think they would do right after you left? Not very good. It would take them some time to really understand and learn all the details and still some time after that to understand the fine details, then some more time to perfect those details then even more time making some of your oversights better or even exposed.

And after all that what was the one thing that they still had to do have though you transferred all your knowledge? Experience. Not just with the job, but with all the other stuff around the job, the interaction with people and the objects and things.

Once you step back from it you will see that what you want to may sound great but I don't think it is great. Not today.

 

[terryl965]

I enjoy a good laugh every now and then, so are you for real? I mean if you truely believe you are able to teach proper techs. than by all means go on and do it. I do not see where you believe you can, just by the statement that would they not be better even if the techs are off. This is a big NO NO and could and would get people hurt more so. I am hoping you are just pulling our legs about this topic.

 

[Nolerama]

I'm not a TKD, Hapkido or Yudo (Judo?) practitioner, but I think that teaching your family how to throw a better punch/kick/throw for self defense is always a good thing.

But you're not going to teach them traditional TKD, Hapkido, or Yudo. You'll be teaching them your self defense ideas based on your current knowlege.

If it's for SD, then by all means, you have a right to teach your family SD ideas.

 

[still learning]

Hello, People have been passing down information for ages....Do NOT expect them to be experts...

It takes lots of practice and more practice for it to be second nature.

A few things that may work...poking someone eyes, clapping both ears, smashing the nose, hitting groin....TARKETS

Teach them to hit certain tarkets....keep it simple....just 3-4 things only...

Stand up fighting should NOT be expected here!

Anyone can learn to run away...and seek protection from homes,stores,etc..

When kidnap...teach them to grab the steering in a crowded town or highways

Teach them to crawl under the cars to escape someone

Teach them BITING...for escaping

Teach them to use an weapons around them...

Teach them spiting "when and how"

Teach them what words to use when grab..."fire", Police, etc..

Aloha,

PS: Do not talk to strangers....(are we strangers?) ...I am sure tons more to share here!!

 

[girlbug2]

It's cool to share your martial arts knowledge with your family. But make no mistake, until you get to black belt you are not really teaching them the art you learned, you are teaching them your orange belt level understanding of that art.

Would you have paid to be taught TKD or Hapkido by an orange belt?

Why does your family deserve any less than you do?

Still Learning and Nolerama make good points. Show them how to apply martial arts techs as self defense, that's something everybody should know. Sparring is fun in its own right but for your son to really reap the benefits of it IMO it should be done with a variety of partners, especially people around his own age and not just Dad. Even if you were closer to his age and height, that would be sparring with just one person all the time, not good for teaching him about fighting with anybody but you.

 

[ArmorOfGod]

Put them in a real school. Find a dojo, ymca, or church group class and enroll them. I don't know why you would need family or a support system to put them in a class. Scheduling conflicts are a part of life, so get over that as well.

As for transfering your knowledge (as you put it), get to instructor level before you try that. Your tagline says you are orange belt in tkd and a beginner in yudo. You need to be more than that before you start teaching. As someone put above, they will have to unlearn bad habits you taught them when they get with a real school.

We don't know what you mean when you say you are "not into the 'friends' thing," so I don't know where that fits in.

Could you find a local workout group at a public park or something similar? Craigslist, Yahoo groups, meetup.com , or your local newspaper may have some listings. That might be a flexible way to find a teacher.

AoG

 

[Chris Parker]

Hi ukiltmybrutha,

I'm going to echo the other statements here. WAY too early to even consider. Get experienced yourself, and see how long you're going to be there yourself first, after all, what's the point in starting to teach your wife things if you aren't training yourself in a years time? Not to be negative on your journey, bu things can happen, and you would not be the first dedicated enthused student to stop fairly early.

If you wanted though, you can begin to talk about the training to your family. Just not too much. The idea is that if you do end up teaching them later on, then it will just be an extension of what the already know you offer, and you can use the conversations to both generate excitement and gauge interest. Who knows, your son may not want to learn anything! Never assume that because you are interested in something others share the same views, no matter how much you have in common.

 

[Milt G.]

Hello,

I have found over the years it is quite difficult, if not impossible, to teach someone you have a strong (non martial arts) emotional attachment to. I include immediate, or secondary family. Perhaps close friends, as well.

As in example, back in the mid 1980's I attempted to teach my wife Kenpo. As the teacher/student relationship is often blurred in a marriage type situation, I finally found it easier and more beneficial to step out of that roll.
I asked the head instructor of my school, (my teacher) at the time to take on the roll of my wife's teacher. It worked out much better. No emotions got in the way of the teacher/student relationship. (At least none that I was aware of)
She progressed well with little problem.

By the way, you can still "help" someone you are close to, emotionally, learn. It is just difficult to maintain the distinct instructor relationship, that is so necessary to have. Contemporaries make poor teacher/student relationships, IMO. You can never loose that idea of who is the teacher to be effective with students. You must be able to maintain some distance, professionally, for the best relationship.
I do know that I cannot speak for everyone. I am sure that some have had some sucess teaching loved ones. I just do not recommend it based on my experiences, and what I have seen and been told.

I also never recommend someone who does not have a teaching degree, or equivalent, in any specific art or discipline to "teach" anyone. Helping can be OK, under the right circumstances.

Good question.
Thank you,
Milt G.

 

[Shinobi Teikiatsu]

I'm going to have to jump on the bandwagon here, you do NOT have the credentials to be teaching anybody anything (this includes basic rolls and falls, even). There are a lot of bad habits that people have for a while that they may not even notice are bad habits.

As stated above, you're very vague about why your family can't attend your class, yet you seem to be able to.

Finally, I really think your son might be a little bit too young to be trained properly (Especially by an unqualified teacher). Teaching is hard. Teaching young children is even harder. Think about that.

 

[ukiltmybrutha]

Alright, I am going to begin to respond here. My responses will probably be less qualified than yours, but I will respond anyway.

 

[ukiltmybrutha]

Old, old, old, school I see. Meaning that if you think about it this is how the Martial Arts progressed. You had a guy that knew how to fight and he showed his family and maybe a friend or relatives as well. Then that got passed down and added to and so on and so on.

This can work today also, however you have some issues at hand. One that was there life and they did this to protect themselves against invaders, crop burners or stealers, and to fight decades of wars. What is your motivation? What will keep you son and wife interested in your hobby? You can only do so much at home before it becomes more pain than fun. Why are they doing it and how do they compare their skill against anyone. Lot more how’s as well but even those few are enough.

In today’s age this is not practical. That is why it is not done this way anymore, times change. You can still practice at home and have fun with one another, but you go to a dojang, why not them. You can try it but without them having the same experience as you they get nothing but what you want them to have and maybe not even that.

Look at it like this. At any job you do, if you were to give a 2 weeks notice, then have to transfer the knowledge of you job to a co-worker that kind of saw what you did but did not do what you did fully. How well do you think they would do right after you left? Not very good. It would take them some time to really understand and learn all the details and still some time after that to understand the fine details, then some more time to perfect those details then even more time making some of your oversights better or even exposed.

And after all that what was the one thing that they still had to do have though you transferred all your knowledge? Experience. Not just with the job, but with all the other stuff around the job, the interaction with people and the objects and things.

Once you step back from it you will see that what you want to may sound great but I don't think it is great. Not today.

Nice thoughts, I agree with the majority of what you are saying. My wife and I are pretty much the same and share the same views on socializing. It is complex and probably beyond the scope of why we feel this way. Our views on socializing are bonified and I would happily handle the via pm, but not here.

I got your point of view on the analogy of the 2 weeks notice knowledge transfer, but I feel that the person would be better equipped with some knowledge rather than none.

You drive plenty of other valid points though!

Thank you for your views!

 

[ukiltmybrutha]

I enjoy a good laugh every now and then, so are you for real? I mean if you truely believe you are able to teach proper techs. than by all means go on and do it. I do not see where you believe you can, just by the statement that would they not be better even if the techs are off. This is a big NO NO and could and would get people hurt more so. I am hoping you are just pulling our legs about this topic.

Not at all and even if the views presented here convince me otherwise, I think that my idealisms would be "marginal" at best and not totally off the wall. It is not like I am just going to tell my family that they should simply forget what I passed on to them at this point.

I really don't understand what this means.... "I do not see where you believe you can, just by the statement that would they not be better even if the techs are off."

I am confused, I don't believe this is what I said. You may be confusing this with what Bruno@MT said. I am still trying to clarify what this user said.

 

[ukiltmybrutha]

I'm not a TKD, Hapkido or Yudo (Judo?) practitioner, but I think that teaching your family how to throw a better punch/kick/throw for self defense is always a good thing.

But you're not going to teach them traditional TKD, Hapkido, or Yudo. You'll be teaching them your self defense ideas based on your current knowlege.

If it's for SD, then by all means, you have a right to teach your family SD ideas.

This is what I am getting at. I am just trying to teach them SD, period. That is all. Did I come across any different? I think that I did! If I did, then sorry for confusing everyone!

 

[ukiltmybrutha]

Hello, People have been passing down information for ages....Do NOT expect them to be experts...

It takes lots of practice and more practice for it to be second nature.

A few things that may work...poking someone eyes, clapping both ears, smashing the nose, hitting groin....TARKETS

Teach them to hit certain tarkets....keep it simple....just 3-4 things only...

Stand up fighting should NOT be expected here!

Anyone can learn to run away...and seek protection from homes,stores,etc..

When kidnap...teach them to grab the steering in a crowded town or highways

Teach them to crawl under the cars to escape someone

Teach them BITING...for escaping

Teach them to use an weapons around them...

Teach them spiting "when and how"

Teach them what words to use when grab..."fire", Police, etc..

Aloha,

PS: Do not talk to strangers....(are we strangers?) ...I am sure tons more to share here!!

Very good! Please expand if you have the time!

 

[ukiltmybrutha]

It's cool to share your martial arts knowledge with your family. But make no mistake, until you get to black belt you are not really teaching them the art you learned, you are teaching them your orange belt level understanding of that art.

Would you have paid to be taught TKD or Hapkido by an orange belt?

Why does your family deserve any less than you do?

Still Learning and Nolerama make good points. Show them how to apply martial arts techs as self defense, that's something everybody should know. Sparring is fun in its own right but for your son to really reap the benefits of it IMO it should be done with a variety of partners, especially people around his own age and not just Dad. Even if you were closer to his age and height, that would be sparring with just one person all the time, not good for teaching him about fighting with anybody but you.

Good mix of thoughts here! Well balanced thinking. There are other personal factors coming into play though...e.g. scheduling and other views though...but I cannot rebut your ideas.

I want to clarify yet again that this is for SD only. Sorry once again for the confusion.

 

[ukiltmybrutha]

Put them in a real school. Find a dojo, ymca, or church group class and enroll them. I don't know why you would need family or a support system to put them in a class. Scheduling conflicts are a part of life, so get over that as well.

As for transfering your knowledge (as you put it), get to instructor level before you try that. Your tagline says you are orange belt in tkd and a beginner in yudo. You need to be more than that before you start teaching. As someone put above, they will have to unlearn bad habits you taught them when they get with a real school.

We don't know what you mean when you say you are "not into the 'friends' thing," so I don't know where that fits in.

Could you find a local workout group at a public park or something similar? Craigslist, Yahoo groups, meetup.com , or your local newspaper may have some listings. That might be a flexible way to find a teacher.

AoG

I am sorry, but you do not know the enormity of our situation which would indeed involve a support system etc. We are already engaged in enough scheduling conflicts right now. Trust me on this one, or I would not have posted and taken up your time on this.

I don't understand what you don't get about not being into the friends thing. For a variety of scenarios that we have encountered based on life's experiences, friends simply aren't for us. I don't mind taking this part to the PM level, but we really aren't into "friends". The fact that we really aren't into friends is based upon deep analytical thinking not just a basic idea. That is really a different thread or a PM if you wish.

Since I have now better explained that this is SD based, I don't really know if they would ever attend a class for SD. If they do, you are right in that they would have to unlearn habits.

 

[ukiltmybrutha]

Hi ukiltmybrutha,

I'm going to echo the other statements here. WAY too early to even consider. Get experienced yourself, and see how long you're going to be there yourself first, after all, what's the point in starting to teach your wife things if you aren't training yourself in a years time? Not to be negative on your journey, bu things can happen, and you would not be the first dedicated enthused student to stop fairly early.

If you wanted though, you can begin to talk about the training to your family. Just not too much. The idea is that if you do end up teaching them later on, then it will just be an extension of what the already know you offer, and you can use the conversations to both generate excitement and gauge interest. Who knows, your son may not want to learn anything! Never assume that because you are interested in something others share the same views, no matter how much you have in common.

Hey Chris! Thanks again!

Well as before, my ideas for them are solely SD based, but you if anyone might already know that.

My son IS very interested and so is the wife.

For a lack of an argument here, all I can say is that they are highly interested in my knowledge transfer to them. Whatever I have passed their way they are really eating up and it is drawing us together as a healthier family. Wife is getting healthier by doing streches etc.