King of the hill - martial arts version

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

This is a pretty simple forum game. For those who don't know: the goal is to stand on top of a hill, making yourself king. Each person that posts after you describes how they "Dethrone"/knock you off the kill, becoming king themselves, and the next person does the same, and so on.

To make it more martial arts themed, this one will have a twist. You have to use martial arts to either knock the person off the hill, or simply knock them out. Be creative with it!

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

I look around, and find an empty hill. Standing on top, I shout "I'm king of the hill!" and challenge all to try to knock me off.

 

[_Simon_]

I stride atop the hill. Looking at you dead in the eye, I say, "Hey "king", look over there, it's a field full of bacon!!!"

Unbeknownst to you, there was no said field. You look (with a glint of excitement in your eyes), and as you do, I throw a tornado kick, sending you tumbling down the hill, along with your kingdomhood.

"Hail your new king, peasants!"

 

[JowGaWolf]

lol should have known... lol

 

[Buka]

This is a stupid game. I don’t play stupid games. I will, however, be the official MT photographer to document this.

I walk up the hill, press credentials properly displayed on my chest, camera in hand.

“Simon, or should I say King Simon? It’s great to finally meet you, brother….er…King Brother. I love reading your posts, dude. It’s been a pleasure. Please say cheese so we can put the photo in the castle, and of course post it on Martial Talk.”

I raise the camera. But it’s not a normal camera. The flash goes off. It’s five thousand lumens, temporarily blinding you.

I blitz from there, dropping the camera. I swing both arms, fists clenched together, using my arms to sweep out your legs from the summit. I catch you before you fall. Just to sing some lyrics from a Donovan song from the sixties, “First there a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.”

Then I Osoto-gari you off the summit, yelling, King Simon! Don’t let the Mountain hit you on the **** on the way down!”

All hail the new King.

 

[_Simon_]

This is a stupid game. I don’t play stupid games. I will, however, be the official MT photographer to document this.

I walk up the hill, press credentials properly displayed on my chest, camera in hand.

“Simon, or should I say King Simon? It’s great to finally meet you, brother….er…King Brother. I love reading your posts, dude. It’s been a pleasure. Please say cheese so we can put the photo in the castle, and of course post it on Martial Talk.”

I raise the camera. But it’s not a normal camera. The flash goes off. It’s five thousand lumens, temporarily blinding you.

I blitz from there, dropping the camera. I swing both arms, fists clenched together, using my arms to sweep out your legs from the summit. I catch you before you fall. Just to sing some lyrics from a Donovan song from the sixties, “First there a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.”

Then I Osoto-gari you off the summit, yelling, King Simon! Don’t let the Mountain hit you on the **** on the way down!”

All hail the new King.

Well played sir/King, well played

 

[O'Malley]

This is a stupid game. I don’t play stupid games. I will, however, be the official MT photographer to document this.

I walk up the hill, press credentials properly displayed on my chest, camera in hand.

“Simon, or should I say King Simon? It’s great to finally meet you, brother….er…King Brother. I love reading your posts, dude. It’s been a pleasure. Please say cheese so we can put the photo in the castle, and of course post it on Martial Talk.”

I raise the camera. But it’s not a normal camera. The flash goes off. It’s five thousand lumens, temporarily blinding you.

I blitz from there, dropping the camera. I swing both arms, fists clenched together, using my arms to sweep out your legs from the summit. I catch you before you fall. Just to sing some lyrics from a Donovan song from the sixties, “First there a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.”

Then I Osoto-gari you off the summit, yelling, King Simon! Don’t let the Mountain hit you on the **** on the way down!”

All hail the new King.

HAH! It all unfolded as I had planned!

I walk up the hill, exhibiting the 2000 page informative pamphlet that I wrote, titled How to become king of the hill - martial arts version (Volume I, 1st edition, Clackle & Dockle Publishing), which contains a detailed description of what just happened.

As per Chapter 6, Section 8b: "Hand positions" (see Table of Contents), I hold up one finger as I try to catch my breath.

I quickly skim through the detailed steps laid out on page 1347 then extend my hands towards you and try to do a no-touch throw. As you stare at me with a bemused look, I smile because you have not realized that you just fell into my trap.

As I lower my hands, I imitate the hunting call of the egyptian plover (see Appendix 1: "Relevant bird species"), which is answered by a female plover at approximately 200 meters on your right, which distracts you, giving me a window to attack. I then throw the pamphlet at you, which you dodge to your right. I now have you right where I wanted: the ground is unstable and you fall down the hill (you wouldn't have made this mistake had you read the section on "Soil").

The plover and I are now King and Queen of the hill.

 

[drop bear]

HAH! It all unfolded as I had planned!

I walk up the hill, exhibiting the 2000 page informative pamphlet that I wrote, titled How to become king of the hill - martial arts version (Volume I, 1st edition, Clackle & Dockle Publishing), which contains a detailed description of what just happened.

As per Chapter 6, Section 8b: "Hand positions" (see Table of Contents), I hold up one finger as I try to catch my breath.

I quickly skim through the detailed steps laid out on page 1347 then extend my hands towards you and try to do a no-touch throw. As you stare at me with a bemused look, I smile because you have not realized that you just fell into my trap.

As I lower my hands, I imitate the hunting call of the egyptian plover (see Appendix 1: "Relevant bird species"), which is answered by a female plover at approximately 200 meters on your right, which distracts you, giving me a window to attack. I then throw the pamphlet at you, which you dodge to your right. I now have you right where I wanted: the ground is unstable and you fall down the hill (you wouldn't have made this mistake had you read the section on "Soil").

The plover and I are now King and Queen of the hill.

Pocket sand.

 

[O'Malley]

My only weakness!

 

[Buka]

HAH! It all unfolded as I had planned!

I walk up the hill, exhibiting the 2000 page informative pamphlet that I wrote, titled How to become king of the hill - martial arts version (Volume I, 1st edition, Clackle & Dockle Publishing), which contains a detailed description of what just happened.

As per Chapter 6, Section 8b: "Hand positions" (see Table of Contents), I hold up one finger as I try to catch my breath.

I quickly skim through the detailed steps laid out on page 1347 then extend my hands towards you and try to do a no-touch throw. As you stare at me with a bemused look, I smile because you have not realized that you just fell into my trap.

As I lower my hands, I imitate the hunting call of the egyptian plover (see Appendix 1: "Relevant bird species"), which is answered by a female plover at approximately 200 meters on your right, which distracts you, giving me a window to attack. I then throw the pamphlet at you, which you dodge to your right. I now have you right where I wanted: the ground is unstable and you fall down the hill (you wouldn't have made this mistake had you read the section on "Soil").

The plover and I are now King and Queen of the hill.

Clacked and Dockle Publishing for the win!

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Pocket sand.

View attachment 32039

Sneaking back up ready to take my rightful place, I see you spraying pocket sand on buka. While you're distracted, I sneak behind and pants you, followed by clapping both your ears. Humiliated and disoriented from my self defense prowess, all it takes is an eyepoke to send you tumbling down. None shall dethrone me!

 

[O'Malley]

Sneaking back up ready to take my rightful place, I see you spraying pocket sand on buka. While you're distracted, I sneak behind and pants you, followed by clapping both your ears. Humiliated and disoriented from my self defense prowess, all it takes is an eyepoke to send you tumbling down. None shall dethrone me!

Seeing as you've confused me with Buka, I'd wager that some sand got in your eye too.

But perhaps that's the thing. We're all the same: grains of sand in the pocket of God.