Karate Versus Bear

[Bill Mattocks]

Charging bear attacks karate practitioner in Japan: "I thought I should make my move or else I will be killed"

A pair of bears picked the wrong person to mess with when they approached a 50-year-old karate practitioner.

www.cbsnews.com

"A pair of bears picked the wrong person to mess with Thursday in Japan when they approached a 50-year-old karate practitioner only to be kicked away, police and media said, marking the latest in a spate of attacks in the country in recent months."

 

[Flying Crane]

Charging bear attacks karate practitioner in Japan: "I thought I should make my move or else I will be killed"

A pair of bears picked the wrong person to mess with when they approached a 50-year-old karate practitioner.

www.cbsnews.com

"A pair of bears picked the wrong person to mess with Thursday in Japan when they approached a 50-year-old karate practitioner only to be kicked away, police and media said, marking the latest in a spate of attacks in the country in recent months."

They’ve got bears in Japan? I did not know that.

 

[J. Pickard]

I literally just watched a video about this. Talk about bragging rights; "Oh, you're a 2 time world champion? Thats cool. I beat up a bear with my karate, no big deal."

 

[Gyakuto]

They’ve got bears in Japan? I did not know that.

Yes, it’s quite an issue with hikers and the like, with numerous warning signs along trails etc. You’re advised to have anti-bear spray, have bells in your backpack etc to warm the bears off.

The Ainu (indigenous inhabitants of Japan) worship bears that they capture, feed and treat with great reverence and respect. Then they torture and kill it in a ceremony called Iomante.

 

[Gyakuto]

What technique would you use to ward off a bear attack?

 

[Dirty Dog]

What technique would you use to ward off a bear attack?

A combination of Gun-Fu, and Nike-Fu.

 

[Gyakuto]

A combination of Gun-Fu, and Nike-Fu.

I think bears can easily outrun a human, so motorised Nike Fu would better…or a hoverboard.

 

[Dirty Dog]

I think bears can easily outrun a human, so motorised Nike Fu would better…or a hoverboard.

So maybe Shoebaru instead of Nike-Fu.

 

[Gyakuto]

So maybe Shoebaru instead of Nike-Fu.

You’ll have a fighting chance then!

 

[Hot Lunch]

The only thing impressive about this was the fact that it was two bears. If it's a black bear, people fight those off all the time. That's actually what you're supposed to do, as you cannot outrun a bear and are increasing the likelihood of your own death by turning your back to it. If the bear sees you as a meal, fighting back will make you not worth the effort. But if it's a female bear with a cub that sees you as a threat to it, no amount of fighting will save you.

If it's a grizzly or polar bear, you're just done for.

Attributing this to his martial arts training is a bit of a reach. In martial arts training, you're specifically trained on the strengths and vulnerabilities of the human body. Against a wild animal, all that goes out the window.

 

[Gyakuto]

The only thing impressive about this was the fact that it was two bears. If it's a black bear, people fight those off all the time.

Really?

That's actually what you're supposed to do, as you cannot outrun a bear and are increasing the likelihood of your own death by turning your back to it.

If the bear sees you as a meal, fighting back will make you not worth the effort. But if it's a female bear with a cub that sees you as a threat to it, no amount of fighting will save you.

Not even singing soothing lullaby? “If you go in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise…”

If it's a grizzly or polar bear, you're just done for.

I’m glad I live in England. My only threat is from XL Bullies and door-to-door canvassing politicians/religious types.

Attributing this to his martial arts training is a bit of a reach. In martial arts training, you're specifically trained on the strengths and vulnerabilities of the human body. Against a wild animal, all that goes out the window.

It might’ve helped…a bit. The projection of his chi will have discombobulated the bears allowing him to use, ‘monkey steal the peach….although he’d need to rummage around in all that bear fur to find said peaches

 

[Flying Crane]

I looked it up, looks like they have a species of Asiatic black bear as well as a brown bear. I even saw reference to the brown bears rivaling Kodiak bears in size. Wowzers!

 

[gyoja]

Mmmmmm! Bear burgers!

 

[Gyakuto]

Mmmmmm! Bear burgers!

Monster!

 

[gyoja]

Monster!

Somebody has to be or there wouldn’t be a word for it.

 

[Gyakuto]

Somebody has to be or there wouldn’t be a word for it.

Have you heard of fiction?

 

[gyoja]

Have you heard of fiction?

Yep, but you have to try a bear burger. Now my stomach is growling!

 

[Gyakuto]

Yep, but you have to try a bear burger. Now my stomach is growling!

There is such a thing? I’m afraid I have the same diet as a Unfortunately, my penis is about the same relative size

 

[isshinryuronin]

The Ainu (indigenous inhabitants of Japan) worship bears that they capture, feed and treat with great reverence and respect. Then they torture and kill it in a ceremony called Iomante.

In other words, it's a lot like engagement and marriage.

To my wife: Honey, if you read this, I'm just kidding, really.

 

[Gyakuto]

In other words, it's a lot like engagement and marriage.

To my wife: Honey, if you read this, I'm just kidding, really.

<Sharp intake of breath>