Joke De Jeur

[MA-Caver]

Wanting a portrait with which to surprise his wife, a businessman asked a blonde female painter he'd been recommended to paint him in the nude.

"No," the talented blonde artist said. "I don't do that sort of thing."

"But what if I double your fee?" he pleaded.

"Nope, sorry. Won't do it."

"How about I give you five times what you normally get?"

"Oh, okay then," said the artist, "but I'm keeping my socks on. I need a place to put my brushes."

 

[MA-Caver]

A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms, too, and died."

"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."

"He died of a broken neck."

"A broken neck?"

"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

 

[Gin-Gin]

"So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron, and gave him a spinning round house kick in to the groin. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, "Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!"
St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"
"About three minutes ago."
:rofl:

Good one! :rofl:

"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

Another good one! :lol:

Oh, okay then," said the artist, "but I'm keeping my socks on. I need a place to put my brushes."

Gotta love those blondes... :lol: (just kidding!)