I have to ask as well, why is that a shame? What is martial arts if not fighting? You can wrap it up in fancy words, use nice posters with self righteous mottos on but martial arts is still fighting, if it's not, it's not martial arts is it? What are punches and kicks for if not to hurt someone? if you are doing kicks and punches for 'self enlightenment' or 'inner peace' I'd suggest you are foing something wrong.
Go into an MMA gym/club and you will find discipline, respect and good sportsmanship as well as fitness taken seriously. You wil find self confidence and self esteem being built, attention to rules and details is also learnt. Just because they don't bow (they will shake hands or hug instead) and pretend what they are doing is something akin to a religion doesn't mean they are lesser human beings than those who take a traditional view of things or perhaps the MMAers are the traditional martial artists and those who think they aren't are living out some pseudo Eastern way of martial arts that Westerners have dreamed up as being what was done in Japan etc.
Martial Arts are a lot more than just fighting. If one is training just for sport, that's fine. But if competition isn't the goal of training, it's a different story. Or least it should be. Maybe "self defense" is the goal. But while a great bonus to training it's not really a practical reason. How often do any of us get into fights? Certainly not often enough to spend untold hours on the dojo floor, week after week, year after year.
But the better, more realistic the fight training is, the more reason it has to be tempered with character development. And to me, the development of character is the primary goal in the teaching Martial Arts. Many of the schools I've trained and taught in were in poorer neighborhoods. The majority of the students were young men. A lot of them were/are from one parent families. They are often exposed to drugs, crime and violence in the circles they travel. To give some young men hard core fighting skills - and NOT teach them self respect, social responsibility and discipline - is a damn sham. At least to me.
You say "self enlightenment" and "inner peace" like they are dirty words. I wholeheartedly disagree. They are just another part of training, just like an uppercut and a neck crank.