Instructor being hard on me

[Oily Dragon]

The "true warrior" during the middle Samurai era belonged to the aristocratic class and was skilled in combat, strategy, the Chinese classics, calligraphy and other arts to produce a well-rounded individual.

According to the aristocrats, sure.

That leaves a lot of other dead Japanese fighters.

Is it true Musashi rarely bathed?

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

According to the aristocrats, sure.

That leaves a lot of other dead Japanese fighters.

Is it true Musashi rarely bathed?

At least the aristocracy could put nice flowers on their graves…

 

[BaehrTKD]

Just want personal opinion

I signed up for Muay Thai for a month but been going there off and on 1 month here 3
Months there
Recently a coach /owner there would roast me when I told him I didn’t want be paired up with a partner who was a lot bigger than me. We were holding pads. I held pads for big partner and back of my forearms were all bruised up a day after

He kicked hard as he was a big guy plus he was senior student.

We typically used focus pads at the school I trained at, or the heavy bag, so we weren't kicking our partner during drills. Although we did have some training like that for the higher belts where we would put on the chest protectors and take turns kicking each other. It sounds like you train at a more full contact school.

Bumps and bruises are going to happen no matter what with sparring, falling, rolling, training mishaps, etc. It's part of the game.

Other times he would show a combo and I didn’t catch all of it and he would use his fingers to flick at my head and say this isn’t your first time. Kind demeaning . You know combos have small little nuances sometimes we forgot or miss

Ofc I didn’t purposely forgot it’s just I didn’t catch all small details of the combo

He would at times call me out infront of class. Kind like roast

My instructor did that too. He would often cut someone down in front of the whole class, no matter what their rank was. The higher you got, the more perfect you had to be or he would make a fool out of you in front of the whole class. Beginners weren't treated that way however.

What’s your thoughts on this ? I think I should be treated with some respect if I’m paying good money and ontop I’m a paying clients

Since I'm a month late, how did it work out for you?

Not all schools are the same. Some are more "hardcore" than others. There are very different philosophies. Some people want the conditioning without the abuse. Some people want pure fighting. Some people enjoy the art aspect of it (forms, technique) and not the violence of it.

I think you probably picked the wrong martial art to learn.

 

[Darren]

I love!! going against guys bigger,stronger etc then me gives me more incentive to train to get better, sparred once with this guy who had to be at least 6 foot 8 inches, legs and arms at least a mile long(not really but it seemed like it I could not move in against this guy for nothing throwed me on the ground about 20 times till I found out how to move in against him and I was fixing to get him when one of the instructors yelled break.

 

[Gyakuto]

I love!! going against guys bigger,stronger etc then me gives me more incentive to train to get better, sparred once with this guy who had to be at least 6 foot 8 inches, legs and arms at least a mile long(not really but it seemed like it I could not move in against this guy for nothing throwed me on the ground about 20 times till I found out how to move in against him and I was fixing to get him when one of the instructors yelled break.

I find them to be too slow. They do require one to modify ones distancing (toi maai if anyone knows the term) move in and out a bit more, but geometry means that tai sabaki is much the same, so it’s not difficult. If they do grab you then that’s a problem, but you simply throw down some beans and shout, “Fee-fi-fo-fum” and that distracts them long enough to evade their grasp…and prepare a spot of lunch sometimes.

Seriously though, a big martial artist, of equal ability, will always overcome a smaller one.

 

[Metalninja88]

Just want personal opinion

I signed up for Muay Thai for a month but been going there off and on 1 month here 3
Months there
Recently a coach /owner there would roast me when I told him I didn’t want be paired up with a partner who was a lot bigger than me. We were holding pads. I held pads for big partner and back of my forearms were all bruised up a day after

He kicked hard as he was a big guy plus he was senior student.

Other times he would show a combo and I didn’t catch all of it and he would use his fingers to flick at my head and say this isn’t your first time. Kind demeaning . You know combos have small little nuances sometimes we forgot or miss

Ofc I didn’t purposely forgot it’s just I didn’t catch all small details of the combo

He would at times call me out infront of class. Kind like roast

What’s your thoughts on this ? I think I should be treated with some respect if I’m paying good money and ontop I’m a paying clients

Just want personal opinion

I signed up for Muay Thai for a month but been going there off and on 1 month here 3
Months there
Recently a coach /owner there would roast me when I told him I didn’t want be paired up with a partner who was a lot bigger than me. We were holding pads. I held pads for big partner and back of my forearms were all bruised up a day after

He kicked hard as he was a big guy plus he was senior student.

Other times he would show a combo and I didn’t catch all of it and he would use his fingers to flick at my head and say this isn’t your first time. Kind demeaning . You know combos have small little nuances sometimes we forgot or miss

Ofc I didn’t purposely forgot it’s just I didn’t catch all small details of the combo

He would at times call me out infront of class. Kind like roast

What’s your thoughts on this ? I think I should be treated with some respect if I’m paying good money and ontop I’m a paying clients

Muay Thai has always been a calloused art. Perhaps for this reason, teachers may see certain students as soft. Remember why your there and why he's teaching, it's for producing results. Most dojos have this type of mentality especially when a school is known for it's one martial art. Unless he is truly belittling you, he is just being a hard *** and using you as an example, putting you in front of the class to demonstrate is to engrain the mistakes needing to be learned from. Makes the lesson for you more monumental, like the methods of how we learn; lecture, written, hands on, etc.
I will say though, don't waste money on getting bullied if that is truly the case

 

[Darren]

I find them to be too slow. They do require one to modify ones distancing (toi maai if anyone knows the term) move in and out a bit more, but geometry means that tai sabaki is much the same, so it’s not difficult. If they do grab you then that’s a problem, but you simply throw down some beans and shout, “Fee-fi-fo-fum” and that distracts them long enough to evade their grasp…and prepare a spot of lunch sometimes.

Seriously though, a big martial artist, of equal ability, will always overcome a smaller one.

This dude was slim and tall, but most generally you are correct the bigger the slower, just don’t want to get hit by the big and slower one’s

 

[ShortBridge]

I spent a couple of years in my 20s doing Muay Thai. It's hard on your body. Thai fighters are made from teenagers. It's a great system, but my conclusion was that it wasn't something I could grow old with. Not saying you can't or shouldn't, but maybe that's what your instructor is trying to help you figure out.

If he's pushing you he is either investing in you or trying to push you out. Or he's trying to see if he can push you out to determine whether or not he should invest in you. Clubs with no contracts do this.

You've got to decide how badly you want it. If your body can't take it, it's probably not the style for you at this point in your life and that's not going to get better. If he's just embarrassing you and hurting your feelings...

If you're training for self defense (assumption) he could be stress training you. If you shut down when your adrenaline flares, imagine what would happen in an assault.

Not trying to be unsupportive, but they are month-to-month for a reason. Is this this right place and style for you? Get very resolved to power through it or make a change. There are lots of places and styles.

 

[geezer]

Just a side-note: Although there's still plenty to add to this discussion, apparently the OP has left the building. He posted a handful of times last December and hasn't put up anything since.

Now back to the discussion- Each of us has to evaluate our experiences training and make decisions as to whether we want to continue. Making a change can be a pro-active decision. It's NOT the same "quitting" if it's the best choice for moving ahead.

Personally, at the beginning of the pandemic I decided to close my public class and break with the particular association I belonged to. I thought it through carefully and came to the best decision for me. No regrets or shame.

I did continue to stick with that association as a student, and traveled about 1,000 miles annually to their main school for a seminar and private training. I did this every year except for 2020 during the height of the pandemic, in fact, I did catch Covid while training there in '21.

Getting sick was not that bad (I had a fairly mild case). What was worse was my poor reception by the head instructor ...ever since I closed my school and stopped paying his exorbitant association fees (I actually ran my school at a loss for the last year). Ever since I told him that I was "retiring" he would publicly demean me in front of other instructors during training, and was always "booked up" when I tried to schedule private lessons.

Well, OK. I'm a big boy and don't really mind the occasional slight, but I did object to the way this man would openly share his very strong political and religious biases both during training and when our group gathered for lunch and dinner. So, I made the decision not to spend a couple of grand this year to make the pilgrimage to the annual seminar/get-together. Apparently, I'm not alone. I received word that many other Sr. ranking instructors have been "slipping away". There is a reason why we don't discuss politics and religion on this forum!

So, yeah it's a shame not to be part of a tight-knit group and have access to continued training, but on the other hand, sometimes it's time to get your priorities straight and make a change.

 

[Xue Sheng]

Had an instructor push me recently and it was much appreciated, got me out of my comfort zone...and I think I needed that