I'll take two Black Belt Eagle Scouts please

[donna]

Having had 5 children, and all of them in various sports and clubs, I have found the most important thing is to keep an eye on the enthusiasm level for each activity. By that I mean the childs enthusiasm for the sport. You as a parent know your child the best ,so look for signs that they arent enjoying it as much, such as reluctance to practise or moodiness before and after an activity. Also listen to their instructors and coaches if they say that interest is waning. I have always emphasised to my kids that they can try any sport or club they want, but they have to really want to do it as I am not going to have the time to push them to train etc.. So far this has worked well , with them at least trying each sport for a season/ year before pulling out or deciding to keep going with it. I have found that as they get older and have more pressure with school and homework, they tend to cut back themselves to one or two of their favourites. I think you need to be open minded and flexible enough to listen to their opinions too.
And it is important to try not to let your own passion and enthusiasm for an activity blind you and make you deaf to your childrens opinions on that same activity.It sometimes helps to get them to talk to an impartial "other person" then you can get feedback without emotion.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Having had 5 children, and all of them in various sports and clubs, I have found the most important thing is to keep an eye on the enthusiasm level for each activity. By that I mean the childs enthusiasm for the sport. You as a parent know your child the best ,so look for signs that they arent enjoying it as much, such as reluctance to practise or moodiness before and after an activity. Also listen to their instructors and coaches if they say that interest is waning. I have always emphasised to my kids that they can try any sport or club they want, but they have to really want to do it as I am not going to have the time to push them to train etc.. So far this has worked well , with them at least trying each sport for a season/ year before pulling out or deciding to keep going with it. I have found that as they get older and have more pressure with school and homework, they tend to cut back themselves to one or two of their favourites. I think you need to be open minded and flexible enough to listen to their opinions too.
And it is important to try not to let your own passion and enthusiasm for an activity blind you and make you deaf to your childrens opinions on that same activity.It sometimes helps to get them to talk to an impartial "other person" then you can get feedback without emotion.

I understand you point but I had a step daughter that decided English was not her favorite subject. My answer, every time she kept saying it, was. "Which language do you suppose they teach your favorite subject in?". My point is that, I wasn't going to let her choose any favorite subject but English. Her opinion was secondary. When does a parent have to let them do what they want? They don't. You still provide the choices... if you are in control.
Sean

 

[hrlmonkey]

Her opinion was secondary. When does a parent have to let them do what they want? They don't. You still provide the choices... if you are in control.
Sean

this road leads to resentment. i'll also bet that if your parents felt this way, you didn't like it. not good advice for anybody to take on board

 

[Touch Of Death]

this road leads to resentment. i'll also bet that if your parents felt this way, you didn't like it. not good advice for anybody to take on board

So you advise that English is unimportant or that a parent not provide choices?

 

[hrlmonkey]

no, i'm advising that not acknowledging your childs feelings will lead to resentment. your making more of it, than the sum of my wording.
your not providing choices, your enforcing chinese democracy, but you dont see it. you are filling the role of the guardian as you feel neccessary, but i think your not seeing the long term knock on results.

 

[jim777]

I understand you point but I had a step daughter that decided English was not her favorite subject. My answer, every time she kept saying it, was. "Which language do you suppose they teach your favorite subject in?". Sean

:lol: That's awesome! So help me, if I ever get a chance to use that line I will

 

[donna]

I understand you point but I had a step daughter that decided English was not her favorite subject. My answer, every time she kept saying it, was. "Which language do you suppose they teach your favorite subject in?". My point is that, I wasn't going to let her choose any favorite subject but English. Her opinion was secondary. When does a parent have to let them do what they want? They don't. You still provide the choices... if you are in control.
Sean

While I can appreciate your point of view on such a serious subject such as an English class, I was more pointedly referring to the choices my children were allowed to make in regards to their leisure time. School is always important and needs the guiding hand of a parental point of view, but their leisure time , while guided, should be something for them to feel passionate about , not to feel pressured to do to please someone else.

 

[KempoFlow]

I think it's a bit much. DS does Karate and Scouts. He did baseball last year, but what we did was cut karate back to two privates a month during the season. It was just enough to keep him up to speed but not excel. Same thing with soccer in the fall.

DD does Karate and Ballet only. She will do soccer in the fall as well. Again we will cut back Karate to privates only for the season.

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

My kid's are very active and yet I try to find a nice balance for them to be a kid as well. Currently we do piano/guitar, soccer (for one), martial arts and archery. We also make time to do other things like go to museum's, etc. In the past we have done even more. So find the balance that is right for you and your family. That is really the key.

 

[Phoenix44]

Ouch. Your gonna really be irritated with me when I tell you I got them their first motorcycles (dirt bike). Snow skis will come this fall

Nah, I won't be irritated. They're your kids. I'm just a mother. And a pediatrician...

 

[jim777]

You know when I notice my kids have way too much to do, and no free time? When I ask them to clean their rooms That's when the weight of their schedules and lack of sleep catches up to them. Anything else they're up for, but the "But I'm sooo tired.." always starts when it's time to clean their rooms!

jim

 

[Phoenix44]

Really? My daughter's been cleaning up a storm. Because I just blocked her internet access pending the room clean-up!

 

[Touch Of Death]

no, i'm advising that not acknowledging your childs feelings will lead to resentment. your making more of it, than the sum of my wording.
your not providing choices, your enforcing chinese democracy, but you dont see it. you are filling the role of the guardian as you feel neccessary, but i think your not seeing the long term knock on results.

I'm not with her mom anymore but both openly thank me for being so pushy about thier native toungue. LOL
Sean

 

[Touch Of Death]

While I can appreciate your point of view on such a serious subject such as an English class, I was more pointedly referring to the choices my children were allowed to make in regards to their leisure time. School is always important and needs the guiding hand of a parental point of view, but their leisure time , while guided, should be something for them to feel passionate about , not to feel pressured to do to please someone else.

There are two ways to provide choices: your own actions and passions, and activities you approve of.
Sean

 

[Ceicei]

Really? My daughter's been cleaning up a storm. Because I just blocked her internet access pending the room clean-up!

I do the same thing with my sons' computer access and their room. That tactic works.... :uhyeah:

- Ceicei