I think I'm being stalked

[Ken Morgan]

Yes, but I'M 19, she's 16

But that’s not the issue.

Do you want a relationship with this girl? (Note girl, not woman) from what you’ve said, I assume you don’t.

• If you want no relationship, (and as the father of a 16 year old girl, I would never let my daughter out of the house with a 19 year old), then you need to keep your distance and not give her false hope that there will be one.
• Do you want to help her with the issue of the abuse she is suffering from her current BF? If you do then you need to work out that plan. Get the information to her parents, or someone who can help her, because she can not help herself.

That’s it Dude, tell her in no uncertain terms that there can not be a relationship and get her some help. There is no more discussion necessary.

 

[jks9199]

Yes, but I'M 19, she's 16

It doesn't change the fact that it is a significant 3 years. 25 and 22... not so big a deal. 31 and 34... no problem. But 16 and 19... You're in possession of child porn if she sends you racy picture. Even if you don't ask her to.

 

[Carol]

Yes, but I'M 19, she's 16

John, YOU are 19 which means YOU risk a lifetime registering as a sex offender if things go awry. And if you don't believe me, go to any of the "Free Legal Advice" internet forums out there and read the stories of heartbroken parents who had a child (usually a son) convicted of a sex offense because he was 18 or 19 but she was 15, 16 or 17. It happens ALL THE TIME. It happens when they have sex. It happens when they don't actually have sex, but have some other sort of consensual, private contact. It happens because the parents want to press charges! And its horrible. How do I know? My best friend manages one of those boards, and she occasionally e-mails me with administration questions. In the process, she has shared those stories with me as the kind of thing that just eats at her heart.

John...please...it is so not worth it. All of us on MT have watched you grow from high school student to Marine. You're a good man - I mean that sincerely. But now that you are an adult, spend your time with women that have reached legal age. You've got your whole life ahead of you with so much to see and do...please don't **** it up with this girl!! Please? (((hugs)))

 

[CuongNhuka]

John, YOU are 19 which means YOU risk a lifetime registering as a sex offender if things go awry.

I appreciate the hug Carol, but calm down. First of all, if anything were to happen, it'd actually be legal in Nebraska (age of consent is 15 assuming the other person is within 3 years, notice I'm within that catagory). So, in Nebraska I'm fine, it's the Marines that would do unpleseant things to me.

Second, the only reason I posted the thing with my age was I didn't want someone to mistake me for being 16.

Third (more of a general notice): Chill. While the advice is welcome, it's largely unneeded, since I've already told her alot of what was told to me. Seriously, I just wanted to know if I was crazy for thinking she had a crush on me (which she recently admitted to) or if her actions could be considered bordering on stalking.

 

[Carol]

Sorry...not trying to sound agitated with you. I'm responding while watching a couple of other scripts finish so I'm sounding more blunt and foreful than needed.

 

[jks9199]

Sorry...not trying to sound agitated with you. I'm responding while watching a couple of other scripts finish so I'm sounding more blunt and foreful than needed.

No, you're trying to talk sense about sex and relationships to a 19 year old male.

About the only thing comparable would be trying to politely ask a hurricane to avoid Florida...

 

[shihansmurf]

I appreciate the hug Carol, but calm down. First of all, if anything were to happen, it'd actually be legal in Nebraska (age of consent is 15 assuming the other person is within 3 years, notice I'm within that catagory). So, in Nebraska I'm fine, it's the Marines that would do unpleseant things to me.

Second, the only reason I posted the thing with my age was I didn't want someone to mistake me for being 16.

Third (more of a general notice): Chill. While the advice is welcome, it's largely unneeded, since I've already told her alot of what was told to me. Seriously, I just wanted to know if I was crazy for thinking she had a crush on me (which she recently admitted to) or if her actions could be considered bordering on stalking.

Article 120 of the UCMJ covers sexual conduct with a minor(it actually covers several topics but that is among them) and specifies the age of consent is 16, however, there have been numerous Article 134 convictions of servicemembers for engaging in said activity with a partner under 18 so just a bit of info.

I wouldn't think that her actions border on stalking but the implications of domestic abuse from her boyfriend are disturbing. If you have'nt contacted her parents, you should. The safety of this girl is important and if she is being hit then informing her parents is the responsible choice.

Best of luck, its a wierd situation.
Mark