I'm stunned at the moment. There is a situation going on between my wife, my teacher and myself that may force me to leave the school.
I teach 3 classes a week and assist with the competition team. On weekends, i help clean the dojang. My wife goes in twice a week to help dp filing and basic office work. We've been doiung these things for over 5 years. For most of that, we got a slight break on tuition. Last year, my instructor sauid becuase of all the hard work we do (for the dojang as well as in other areas) that we were now on scholarship. Myself and my family could train for free.
At first, this was great, however, I think it created a number of dual relationships. We're students, we have employee responsibilities but we're not really employees (no contract, nothign in writing, no delineation of who deos what for whom).
The problem is that my wife has a very hectic schedule. We've bgot 5 kid (3 of whom have significant special needs). This means that she has to attend various meetings, do extra doctor appointments, deal with behaviors, school functions, etc. She tries to tell the instructor what her schedyule is like ahead of time, but he doesn't remember when she tells him verbally, and an email at the beginning of the month laying out her availability is not acceptabel either. She is supposed to text or email that morning if she can't make it (in addition to the verbal and email notification). She can't always do that...she tries, but sometimes she just can't.
Anyway, last week she was unable to come in becuase an important meeting was rescheudled. She let hinm know verbally, but did not get a chance to do a day of email. He called her 5 times while she was in that meeting, and left her some very angry and rude voicemails. Today, after she'd already notified him that she was unavailable during the day (kids are off school) resulted in a very angry email. My wife decuided to stand up for herself....this is now a bad blood situation.
As they are trying to work out the miscimmunications and the like, one of the things our instructor said was a long rant about how much money he's "donated" to us because of this scholarship and how we perhaps weren't grateful enough. he suggested that if my wife could not do the office work thing that the scholarship would be revoked.
here's my dillemma, I happen to agree with my wife's position (she should never be yelled at. Period.) I never asked fore the scholarship, though it is greatly appreciated. However, if the scholarhsip is based on her work...what is my teaching and coaching worth? More to the point, I thought it wasa gift, not something that was dependant on what we were already doing. I taught because I enjoy teaching. I coach becasue I enjoy coaching. I cleaned becasue I live down the street and it was convenient for me to help out.
In any event, I'm giving back the scholarship because I don't want anyone thinking that i'm mooching or taking advantage. However, I'm afraid that eprhaps thigns have gone to the point where trainign at this school won't be feasible. At the very least, I may need do something to better define what my role is at this school (my wife will probably not conitnue helpign out in the office....unless or instructor can chnage his tone...all the other communication and scheduling crap is not the real issue).
This makes me sad. I don't want to train someplace where I'm not liked. if I dial back all that I do, that'll be a further rift. I don't mind starting out as a whitebelt again....it's jsut that this school is like home to me. BUT, part of respecting me is respectiong my famiyl and waht we do.
Not looking for any particular advice yet, just had to vent. Manure Occureth.
Peace,
Erik
I teach 3 classes a week and assist with the competition team. On weekends, i help clean the dojang. My wife goes in twice a week to help dp filing and basic office work. We've been doiung these things for over 5 years. For most of that, we got a slight break on tuition. Last year, my instructor sauid becuase of all the hard work we do (for the dojang as well as in other areas) that we were now on scholarship. Myself and my family could train for free.
At first, this was great, however, I think it created a number of dual relationships. We're students, we have employee responsibilities but we're not really employees (no contract, nothign in writing, no delineation of who deos what for whom).
The problem is that my wife has a very hectic schedule. We've bgot 5 kid (3 of whom have significant special needs). This means that she has to attend various meetings, do extra doctor appointments, deal with behaviors, school functions, etc. She tries to tell the instructor what her schedyule is like ahead of time, but he doesn't remember when she tells him verbally, and an email at the beginning of the month laying out her availability is not acceptabel either. She is supposed to text or email that morning if she can't make it (in addition to the verbal and email notification). She can't always do that...she tries, but sometimes she just can't.
Anyway, last week she was unable to come in becuase an important meeting was rescheudled. She let hinm know verbally, but did not get a chance to do a day of email. He called her 5 times while she was in that meeting, and left her some very angry and rude voicemails. Today, after she'd already notified him that she was unavailable during the day (kids are off school) resulted in a very angry email. My wife decuided to stand up for herself....this is now a bad blood situation.
As they are trying to work out the miscimmunications and the like, one of the things our instructor said was a long rant about how much money he's "donated" to us because of this scholarship and how we perhaps weren't grateful enough. he suggested that if my wife could not do the office work thing that the scholarship would be revoked.
here's my dillemma, I happen to agree with my wife's position (she should never be yelled at. Period.) I never asked fore the scholarship, though it is greatly appreciated. However, if the scholarhsip is based on her work...what is my teaching and coaching worth? More to the point, I thought it wasa gift, not something that was dependant on what we were already doing. I taught because I enjoy teaching. I coach becasue I enjoy coaching. I cleaned becasue I live down the street and it was convenient for me to help out.
In any event, I'm giving back the scholarship because I don't want anyone thinking that i'm mooching or taking advantage. However, I'm afraid that eprhaps thigns have gone to the point where trainign at this school won't be feasible. At the very least, I may need do something to better define what my role is at this school (my wife will probably not conitnue helpign out in the office....unless or instructor can chnage his tone...all the other communication and scheduling crap is not the real issue).
This makes me sad. I don't want to train someplace where I'm not liked. if I dial back all that I do, that'll be a further rift. I don't mind starting out as a whitebelt again....it's jsut that this school is like home to me. BUT, part of respecting me is respectiong my famiyl and waht we do.
Not looking for any particular advice yet, just had to vent. Manure Occureth.
Peace,
Erik
