I have a problem, need some advice

[KempoGuy06]

Ok, so there is this guy that I went to high school with and we really didnt like each other. To make a long story short, his friend started dating my ex-girlfriend, he didnt like the fact that I was still friends with her and felt that he need to give me **** every chance he got.

Fastforward 4 years...

I saw him at a bar about 6 months ago, and he took up the post he had in high school. Im 22 and have matured a lot so I let it roll off my back. Well he started sending text messages and leaving voice mails on my phone, so I blocked the number. Now 6 weeks ago I see him again, and he is drunk out of his mind and takes a swing. I do nothing, because its a public place and I really dont like the food they serve in jail. He takes a couple more and still all im doing is blocking or dodging. Well we decided to leave (smart move in my opinion ) and head somewhere else. Well a couple weeks after that I start hearing through mutual friends that all he is doing is talking about how he is going to beat my ***. This is my problem. Im not going to fight him, I dont want to fight, but if he takes a swing at me again in a public setting I might have to stop him with force to get him to leave me alone.

Im stuck, I dont know what I should do. I know fighting is not an option, but what if Im in a situation where I have no choice?

The best part of this whole thing is that its from HIGH SCHOOL !!! Come on!!!

Thanks everyone

B

 

[Drac]

If he's calling your house phone file a harrassment report with the local PD..I don't know about down there but up here the officer will give you information on how to contact the phone company and they install a trap that stops the calls from getting through and counts HOW many times he called..If you have one of those voice mails that gives you the time and date of all your calls make a recording of them on a cassette recorder, its evidence..
Now you have a paper train that has established stalking and menacing on his part..Next time he swings on you DROP HIM ...Do not become a punching bag for fear of jail time..First tine offenders usually get probation anyway...

 

[Tames D]

You say that fighting is not an option. I disagree. If this guy attacks you again, I think it's your right and responsibility to stop him with force. It appears that he's that type that won't 'go away' unless you help him (with force).
Anyways, good luck. Hope everything works out.

 

[bydand]

Drac beat me to saying the same thing. Paper trail first, then whatever is necessary to stop the pinhead from bothering you.

 

[KempoGuy06]

DROP HIM ...Do not become a punching bag for fear of jail time..First tine offenders usually get probation anyway...

See this is what I would love to do. Im not afraid of the jail time. Im afraid of what will happen because I already have some hanging over my head (long story, I was dumb and got it to tons of trouble is the short version). I know it will be self defense but Im still afraid of what will happen with that over my head.

B

 

[MarkBarlow]

Good advice so far. Don't wait for the "next" time. File a report now. Let the cops know he's after you and you're trying to avoid him. When and if you have to defend yourself (and nobody expects you to let him continue to swing at you without defending yourself) you'll have that all important paper trail. Too many people forget that one of the top 3 rules of self defense is "Cover your butt".

 

[Grenadier]

See this is what I would love to do. Im not afraid of the jail time. Im afraid of what will happen because I already have some hanging over my head (long story, I was dumb and got it to tons of trouble is the short version). I know it will be self defense but Im still afraid of what will happen with that over my head.

B

While I've always been a believer in the adage of "better to be judged by 12, instead of carried by 6," jail time is something you want to avoid, since you have a previous record.

Document everything, save all of the electronic evidence, and contact the police. Do not contact this jerk, since he could potentially claim that you were harassing him.

The fact that he's tried to evade your caller block, has shown that he is certainly willing to harass you until the end of days.

Maybe he'll grow up in the future, but there are always some individuals who never do. You can't really control if / when he grows up, but you can certainly start controlling the situation in order to stop the harassment.

Now, if you have no choice but to fight, then you fight to the best of your abilities. Once the fight is finished, you make sure to call the police first.

 

[KempoGuy06]

Good advice so far. Don't wait for the "next" time. File a report now. Let the cops know he's after you and you're trying to avoid him. When and if you have to defend yourself (and nobody expects you to let him continue to swing at you without defending yourself) you'll have that all important paper trail. Too many people forget that one of the top 3 rules of self defense is "Cover your butt".

I do have the messages saved on a memory stick so Im part of the way there. Ill talk to my friends dad, hes a cop.

Something I forgot to mention...He's a Marine

B

 

[CoryKS]

I had a similar situation in school, but when I saw the guy a few years later we both had a laugh about what a pain the girl was and became friends.

If he swings at you again, take him out and then call the police. Getting his butt kicked is bad. Being arrested is bad. Getting his butt kicked and THEN being arrested is really bad.

 

[MarkBarlow]

If/when you have to put him on his butt, call 911 immediately. I don't care if you don't have a scratch and he's draped over the furniture in 3 different rooms, you are the victim. Remember, you've been assaulted and you want to file a complaint. When the cops arrive, give short but honest answers. Don't mention your m.a. background and don't let machismo creep into your attitude. Present yourself as an innocent victim of an assault. It's the truth and nothing but the truth.

 

[Drac]

Something I forgot to mention...He's a Marine

Drop him REAL HARD..

 

[KempoGuy06]

Drop him REAL HARD..

LOL...always the best advise.

Hypathetical question...Since he is a Marine and has been trained in some form of self-defense, if it comes to it what will happen to me if I have to use extreme force to stop him ie. break a bone or something.

B

 

[CoryKS]

LOL...always the best advise.

Hypathetical question...Since he is a Marine and has been trained in some form of self-defense, if it comes to it what will happen to me if I have to use extreme force to stop him ie. break a bone or something.

B

That he is a Marine brings up other interesting possibilities as well. If he is active duty, contact his CO and explain the situation to him. They HATE being bothered with a young Marine's personal problems, particularly when they reflect badly on the Corps, and will square him away with a quickness.

 

[MarkBarlow]

LOL...always the best advise.

Hypathetical question...Since he is a Marine and has been trained in some form of self-defense, if it comes to it what will happen to me if I have to use extreme force to stop him ie. break a bone or something.

B

His edge will be in conditioning and attitude, not necessarily in practical hand-to-hand knowledge. While it's true that the Corps has instituted an in-house martial arts system, it's not practiced as widely as most people think.

One of our dojo in Louisiana had a SEAL team training with them. They were great guys with incredible enthusiasm. Thanks to their daily conditioning, they never ran out of steam. When we sparred them, the only way to beat them was to choke them out. If you knocked or threw them down, they jumped right back up, if you applied a joint lock, they wouldn't slap out and we didn't want to permanently injure them. They just never gave up. They weren't particularly proficient in martial arts (that's why they came to us) but they each had a complete dedication to win at all cost. I obviously don't know the guy you're dealing with but while I doubt he's SEAL caliber, he probably has the gung ho attitude of most Marines. Respect him as you would any opponent but don't be intimidated.

 

[Sukerkin]

I suspect that Cory's advice above is very sound.

The young fellow may be something of a jerk and may be as hard as he thinks he is but he's not a match for his CO.

That's most especially true if he really wants to make a career in the military. Then again it sounds as if his attitude needs a bit of a tune-up if that's the case.

I'm also glad to see some soundly pragmatic advice from our resident LEO's :tup:.

All in all, I haven't read anything above that fundamentally differs from the advice I would give under the circumstances.

 

[Tez3]

I agree with everything that has been said! It's true that his CO will be really pissed to hear from you which is good! This person is a bully, if he's doing it to you chances are he will be to others, perhaps junior to him in the service.
Cover your back ( or as we say put your umbrella up) tell the police, tell his CO, keep whatever evidence you have, if you want to email me with the same question I will copy most of the guys good answers here without their names and email you back as me to show your concerns and unwillingness to fight...if the guys here don't mind. The email will be timed and dated for evidential use.

Then as Drac says, drop him and drop him hard....first if you have to and no ones there to witness!

 

[jks9199]

Good advice. Start the reports. Whether he's active duty or reserve, contact the Marine Corps.

When people bring it up... Your response at the start is perfect: "This is so HIGH SCHOOL!" (ideally, said in an exasperated near whine...)

 

[Kacey]

I agree with all of the above, especially:
- file a police report, as this will prove a pattern of behavior if he does attack you and you are forced to defend yourself
and
- contact his CO, as he is acting in a fashion unbecoming a Marine, and they will deal with it.

 

[kidswarrior]

I agree with everything that has been said! It's true that his CO will be really pissed to hear from you which is good! This person is a bully, if he's doing it to you chances are he will be to others, perhaps junior to him in the service.
Cover your back ( or as we say put your umbrella up) tell the police, tell his CO, keep whatever evidence you have....

Then as Drac says, drop him and drop him hard....first if you have to and no ones there to witness!

All of the above posts are good advice, but since Tez summed it up so well, I've quoted her. I would also strongly suggest that you follow the three pronged action others have recommended: Police report (or call Watch Commander, at least, and take notes on what he says), CO report (Oh, man, that's going to hurt him ), and keep records.

Best wishes! :asian:

 

[Touch Of Death]

Ok, so there is this guy that I went to high school with and we really didnt like each other. To make a long story short, his friend started dating my ex-girlfriend, he didnt like the fact that I was still friends with her and felt that he need to give me **** every chance he got.

Fastforward 4 years...

I saw him at a bar about 6 months ago, and he took up the post he had in high school. Im 22 and have matured a lot so I let it roll off my back. Well he started sending text messages and leaving voice mails on my phone, so I blocked the number. Now 6 weeks ago I see him again, and he is drunk out of his mind and takes a swing. I do nothing, because its a public place and I really dont like the food they serve in jail. He takes a couple more and still all im doing is blocking or dodging. Well we decided to leave (smart move in my opinion ) and head somewhere else. Well a couple weeks after that I start hearing through mutual friends that all he is doing is talking about how he is going to beat my ***. This is my problem. Im not going to fight him, I dont want to fight, but if he takes a swing at me again in a public setting I might have to stop him with force to get him to leave me alone.

Im stuck, I dont know what I should do. I know fighting is not an option, but what if Im in a situation where I have no choice?

The best part of this whole thing is that its from HIGH SCHOOL !!! Come on!!!

Thanks everyone

B

Its OK to file a restraining order.
Sean