I have a dilemma and covet your opinion

[blackxpress]

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. I began my MA training 3 1/2 yrs. ago at a Wado Ryu school in N. Ga. It was a great school that also had added a fair amount of Jujitsu and groundfighting to the Wado curriculum. I loved it. After training there for a couple of yrs. I had to move to Ohio for work. Early on I tried to find a dojo that was similar to what I left behind and got really frustrated. To begin with there are no Wado schools in Ohio, period. There are karate schools galore but none of the ones I found taught the grappling and joint locking that I had learned before. For a time I trained at a really nice school that taught a little bit of everything. Their Kenpo curriculum included some really good Jujitsu and ground fighting but their karate style was so different from Wado that I just never could get comfortable with it. I got frustrated and stopped training for several months and spent a lot of time on the golf course. Recently I decided to get back into MA in earnest and was looking for a style that would be similar to what I studied in GA. I checked out a Kuk Sul Do school, of all things. That particular school is currently being run by the Grandmaster of the federation. He's a wonderful man and a brilliant Martial Artist from what I can tell. Trouble is, I have to go back to white belt and, although they do teach some awesome joint locking I still have some misgivings about Kuk Sul Do. Their forms are so foreign to what I learned in Wado that I feel like a complete noob. I ended up joining the school anyway, mainly because of the influence of the Grandmaster. Did I mention he's a very impressive person? Anyway, I just can't seem to wrap my mind around Kuk Sul Do. Some of the forms look like something out of a kung fu movie. Flying, spinning kicks and acrobatics and stuff that (to me at least) seems to have no real connection to an actual fight. After training there for a couple of weeks I ran across a Shito Ryu school and dropped in for a class. Their kata is virtually identical to Wado. The main difference is they have a lot more kata (which is O.K.). All the katas that I already know are included in their curriculum. I'm a 5th kyu in Wado (would probably be brown belt by now if not for all the moving around) and Shihan evaluated me and said I could remain 5th kyu in his dojo as well. The first night of training was great. I went back last night and we sparred. Even better. There were 11 students in the class, 5 of whom were black belts. Even the yellow belts handled themselves very well. There's one other 5th kyu besides me and she's DANGEROUS. Very good karateka. I can tell from looking at the students that it's a great dojo. Their technique and form is really good. I had a chance to spar against each of the other 10 students. I felt like I handled myself pretty good but was impressed with all of them. An added bonus is this. Although the dojo does not officially teach joint manipulation and ground fighting, one of the black belts is also training in Jujitsu and is looking for a partner to practice with. Shihan has also given him the green light to teach some of his techniques in the dojo as an extra class. So, I have the best of both worlds. A karate system that is very, very similar to what I have already learned and a Sensei who is chomping at the bit to teach me Jujitsu.

So then, here's my dilemma. After training with those guys for a couple of nights I've pretty much convinced myself to join their club. Trouble is, I'm already officially a student at the Kuk Sul Do school. It's bad enough I have to face the Grandmaster with hat in hand and tell him I've decided to go elsewhere. I'm also afraid I might be giving up some valuable training. It's really hard to get any good information on Kuk Sul Do beyond the official federation propaganda. I don't want to judge the style too harshly based on my limited experience and knowledge. At the same time I don't want to spend years working toward a black belt only to get there and wish I had stayed in karate. At least karate is a known quantity for me.

Anyway, sorry for the long post but I'm kind of pulling my hair out. Any of you folks been there and done that?

 

[Bill Mattocks]

I have not, but it appears your heart has already set a course. Since you are a man of honor, you must do what is right.

To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. - William Shakespeare

Experience saying 'no' to people you like and respect is a powerful mojo. Embrace the opportunity to experience what it feels like to be forthright under difficult circumstances.

 

[ceaer]

So then, here's my dilemma. After training with those guys for a couple of nights I've pretty much convinced myself to join their club. Trouble is, I'm already officially a student at the Kuk Sul Do school. It's bad enough I have to face the Grandmaster with hat in hand and tell him I've decided to go elsewhere. I'm also afraid I might be giving up some valuable training. It's really hard to get any good information on Kuk Sul Do beyond the official federation propaganda. I don't want to judge the style too harshly based on my limited experience and knowledge. At the same time I don't want to spend years working toward a black belt only to get there and wish I had stayed in karate. At least karate is a known quantity for me.

Is there any way you could drop in on the Kuk Sul Do classes from time to time? Perhaps when you're talking to the Grandmaster to tell him you're changing schools, let him know that you're still interested in what you can learn from Kuk Sul Do, just perhaps not on a full-time basis. Ask if you can take private lessons once a month (or whatever fits your interest and schedule) or if you can drop in on a few classes a month (on a per-class payment plan).

I think in the long run you would regret it a lot more if you let the Shito Ryu pass you by because of what you might miss if you stopped Kuk Sul Do than if you passed on Kuk Sul Do for what you know you'll gain from Shito Ryu.

 

[geezer]

Many years ago I went through the same thing. I moved from Connecticut back to my home in Arizona and couldn't find anything close to what I had trained before. I ended up choosing something quite different, started over and stuck with it. And that worked for me. But in your case, I'd say you lucked out to finally discover something that really fits... the Shito school you described. I'd listen to your heart. Go back to your Kuk Sul teacher and explain this to him. Either he will understand or he won't. That's not your problem (unless you've signed a contract... in which case you'll have to pay your debts.) And remember, you don't have to learn everything at once. After a few more years of training in Shito, maybe then you can study a grappling or joint-locking system in greater depth. Everything in its time. Good luck.

Oh, and if you ever get out to Arizona, we've got a terrific Kuk Sul school (old and run down and totally excellent) and a teriffic Wado school (beautiful, and new, and excellent too). I do CMA and FMA. There's a lot of that too. From my point of view, I could have joined any of a dozen systems, and if I'd found a good teacher... I'd have been very happy.

 

[Gaius Julius Caesar]

It seems your main delima concerns "feelings".

Although people's feelings are important, you can't be a slave to them and put their's above your own.

YOU are the star of your own movie and half to do what is right for you.

Follow your heart and just be kind and respectfull when you tell the KSW Instructor that you wish to do something else.

If he get's bent out of shape, that is not your problem.

Shugyo!

Dylan

 

[Phoenix44]

I've done it. It's hard. Yes, he'll probably feel bad about it, but it's your life. Just tell the truth and do what you have to do. Good luck.

 

[bowser666]

Go with what your heart feels is the right decision. This is after all something that you are doing for YOU.

 

[DergaSmash]

I don't think the Grandmaster would be than put off by it if you talked to him. All schools have students that just disappear without word. Yet if you're up front about it, he might be happier because of it and bear you no ill will.

 

[JDenver]

I'd be reticent of any school that believes what they are doing is 'right' and that students should feel obligated to remain with them.

I teach (outside of MA) and I encourage my students to always go where they feel the training suits what they need and want. Some of them stay and some go. Some come back!

 

[Josh Oakley]

You actually sound like you already made your decision. Take action, and don't allow yourself to be held back by fear.

 

[blackxpress]

UPDATE: I have now put in 2 full weeks of training at the Shito Ryu dojo and absolutely love it. I have decided to join. I'm going on vacation for a week starting this Saturday and told Shihan I would be there in earnest on the first Monday of August.

Today I finally got up the gumption to go and break the news to Grandmaster Yang. He was very gracious about it but he was obviously very disappointed and, I think, a little hurt. He asked me if anyone had wronged me in any way and I assured him that I think the world of him and his school and that nothing was wrong other than the fact that I had decided I want to stay in karate. He told me about the plans he had for my training and told me I'm welcome to come back at any time. He also complimented me on my loyalty and commitment to karate and said he wished he had more students like that. I told him I was worried that he might think I was being disrespectful but he assured me he understands. We shook hands, bowed and that was the end of it.

Somehow I still feel a little sad and conflicted but I think I made the right choice. I can't wait to get back from vacation and get in the dojo full time.

BTW: I will be training while on vacation. I'm going home to visit my mom and have talked to my old Sensei. I'll be training twice in his dojo with his regular adult class (can't wait to see some of my old buds) and he has also offered to get together one on one a couple of times. He's going to help tune me up so I'll be able to hang in my new environment. If things go as planned I'll come back from vacation sore as hell ready to train hard.

 

[Deaf Smith]

blackxpress,

Excellent! Not only did you do the honest thing but your GM was a man of honor to! Life is short and one has to realize they can't do everything. So you are picking the best way for you to grow.

And Grandmaster Yang sounds like a true teacher. He looks out for the student and does not worry so much about the bottom line.

Deaf

 

[Bruno@MT]

Good call. I think that just being honest is the best approach. And telling him in person is the honorable thing to do.

 

[Grenadier]

This was handled as well as anyone could have handled it. While there will always be some discomfort in dealing with such a situation, at least you departed on decent terms, and that you didn't burn any bridges here.

Congrats on starting up the Shito Ryu training. Don't worry about the sheer number of kata in the Shito Ryu system; I doubt that anyone knows all 50+ Shito Ryu kata, and has them all ready to perform...

 

[still learning]

Hello, Always trust your intincts....If you feel you want this new school ...go for it!

It is YOU who wants the training...the other Sensi, would love to have as many students ($)...is one reason!

Trust your "heart" and "feelings".

"How can"? ...one train...if believing the other school is better for him?

Aloha,

If we all stay with our first girlfriend? ...we would never know what the 2nd one would be like.........or 3rd or 4th....(sometimes the last one is best)

 

[Nomad]

UPDATE: I have now put in 2 full weeks of training at the Shito Ryu dojo and absolutely love it. I have decided to join. I'm going on vacation for a week starting this Saturday and told Shihan I would be there in earnest on the first Monday of August.

Today I finally got up the gumption to go and break the news to Grandmaster Yang. He was very gracious about it but he was obviously very disappointed and, I think, a little hurt. He asked me if anyone had wronged me in any way and I assured him that I think the world of him and his school and that nothing was wrong other than the fact that I had decided I want to stay in karate. He told me about the plans he had for my training and told me I'm welcome to come back at any time. He also complimented me on my loyalty and commitment to karate and said he wished he had more students like that. I told him I was worried that he might think I was being disrespectful but he assured me he understands. We shook hands, bowed and that was the end of it.

Somehow I still feel a little sad and conflicted but I think I made the right choice. I can't wait to get back from vacation and get in the dojo full time.

BTW: I will be training while on vacation. I'm going home to visit my mom and have talked to my old Sensei. I'll be training twice in his dojo with his regular adult class (can't wait to see some of my old buds) and he has also offered to get together one on one a couple of times. He's going to help tune me up so I'll be able to hang in my new environment. If things go as planned I'll come back from vacation sore as hell ready to train hard.

Well done. Congratulations on taking the possibly harder path and doing things the right way, rather than taking the easier route that so many do and just stop showing up to class... then have your instructor find out months later that you were training elsewhere.

It appears you handled the dilemma with grace and politeness, and that goes a very long way in mitigating any disappointment that Grandmaster Yang would feel from your departure.