How to toughen up?

[Gweilo]

I fully believe mirrors are one of the best partners for working technique.

I agree with you, its vital IMO, for technique and posture.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

- Find a huge rock (100 lb - 200 lb).
- Move that rock from one place to another place 20 times daily.
- Repeat this for 3 months.

After 3 months, you will feel "tough".

Not really related to the OP's question, John.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

In your case just sit in the pocket and trade for a bit until you don't feel overwhelmed there.

Adopt a policy that if they hit you you answer with a strike in return.

Once you are comfortable doing that. Then you can start being evasive again. And hopefully your evasive game will be a bit better.

This. All 3 parts. This is how I train students to get past the common flinch and other reactions (with the small exception that they learn some light evasion while they're learning to work in the pocket, so they don't freeze in there).

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I will mention some MMA advice that applies here. Strikers going in to MMA may think that they need to focus on their takedown defense and keep the fight standing.

Where they really need to absorb all of the elements of grappling to take advantage of where the fight goes. And then if they choose to dictate the fight at a certain range they can.

So same sort of deal. If you are flinchy you will have more initial success hanging back and being a counter fighter but you will develop these holes people can exploit.

If you push yourself to engage in meat grinder style fights you can still have that hang back counter style but you will also not get overwhelmed when the fight gets a bit pacey.

Great explanation of the process, DB.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

Not really related to the OP's question, John.

If you think you are tough like a tiger, when a deer attack a tiger, that tiger will not turn it's head away. To develop that tiger spirit, you need to be super strong.

If you are a hammer, everybody will look like a nail to you.

 

[jobo]

If you think you are tough like a tiger, when a deer attack a tiger, that tiger will not turn it's head away. To develop that tiger spirit, you need to be super strong.

If you are a hammer, everybody will look like a nail to you.

yes, i think you have succinctly and poetically summed up the psychological aspects of being '' tough''

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

- "Tough" is you have courage to face a problem and not running away from it.
- "Flinch" is not willing to face a punch and you run away from that punch.

It's better to

- train take down skill then to train counter to take down skill.
- let your opponent to "flinch" your punch than to let you to "flinch" your opponent's punch.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

1) It's 1. kyu and I've been training for 10 years, but have some breaks on the "journey".
2) We got some sparring and got class just for combat/sparring, but we do free-sparring very rare.



Thanks for alot of tips! I am trying to get my girlfriend which also train taekwondo to sparr with me and to hit me slow and lightly, then increase the speed.

So my normal advice would be to just get some more exposure with sparring, and that you'll get used to it. But considering the length of time, I don't think that'll work. I can think of three things to help.

1) visit a school that does more and/or harder training sessions, and train there for a few months.

2) spar with someone and (preferably with light contact) just exchange hits. Have them try to overwhelm you. It'll take a while, and will suck, but eventually you'll get used to it.

3) stand against a wall and have someone spend five minutes just throwing punch after punch at you (but not actually hitting you). A lot of the flinch is just the motion/speed, so if you can get used to that the flinching might decrease.

 

[jobo]

So my normal advice would be to just get some more exposure with sparring, and that you'll get used to it. But considering the length of time, I don't think that'll work. I can think of three things to help.

1) visit a school that does more and/or harder training sessions, and train there for a few months.

2) spar with someone and (preferably with light contact) just exchange hits. Have them try to overwhelm you. It'll take a while, and will suck, but eventually you'll get used to it.

3) stand against a wall and have someone spend five minutes just throwing punch after punch at you (but not actually hitting you). A lot of the flinch is just the motion/speed, so if you can get used to that the flinching might decrease.

flinching is a learnt response in people who are used to getting hit, getting hit some more isn't the solution

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

flinching is a learnt response in people who are used to getting hit, getting hit some more isn't the solution

Personally I've found the opposite-when people are used to being hit (lightly), and defending themselves the flinching stops. It's when people are hit too hard and/or abused that flinching becomes the reaction. Or, in most cases from my experience, in people who don't get hit a lot and have this fear of it being much worse than it is.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

In your case just sit in the pocket and trade for a bit until you don't feel overwhelmed there.

Adopt a policy that if they hit you you answer with a strike in return.

Once you are comfortable doing that. Then you can start being evasive again. And hopefully your evasive game will be a bit better.

Missed this post originally, just saw you beat me to it

 

[geezer]

flinching is a learnt response in people who are used to getting hit, getting hit some more isn't the solution

Flinching is a natural response that offers some protection. A twig flicks at your eyes, you instinctively blink hard and the reaction may save your vision. A unexpected blow comes your way and you instinctively throw your hands up and duck. The reaction avoids or blunts the impact. Unfortunately, this kind of response unchecked can be very detrimental in many activities such as baseball, football/soccer, ...and of course, the martial arts. But rather than totally suppressing the flinch reaction, a good start is learning to re-program it into a productive response. Like proper head movement and covering or counterpunching. Then as you gain success and confidence, you can also reduce the unproductive exaggerated flinch response and gradually replace it with a productive fighting response.

Learning to re-program or re-direct the flinch productively will gain quicker results, IMO, than mere suppression -i.e. just taking hits and trying to "learn not to flinch".

 

[jobo]

Personally I've found the opposite-when people are used to being hit (lightly), and defending themselves the flinching stops. It's when people are hit too hard and/or abused that flinching becomes the reaction. Or, in most cases from my experience, in people who don't get hit a lot and have this fear of it being much worse than it is.

people who have never been hit dont flinch, why would they ?

ok i had a rescue dog a good few years ago, that flinched every time i move my hand in his rough direction,

did i a) keep hitting him in the some what mistaken belief that he would get used to it and stop flinching
b) convince him my hand was not going to cause pain by not hitting him

clue it was B) though i did get bit quite a lot, i just convinced my self it didn't hurt and all was well after about 6 months

 

[jobo]

Flinching is a natural response that offers some protection. A twig flicks at your eyes, you instinctively blink hard and the reaction may save your vision. A unexpected blow comes your way and you instinctively throw your hands up and duck. The reaction avoids or blunts the impact. Unfortunately, this kind of response unchecked can be very detrimental in many activities such as baseball, football/soccer, ...and of course, the martial arts. But rather than totally suppressing the flinch reaction, a good start is learning to re-program it into a productive response. Like proper head movement and covering or counterpunching. Then as you gain success and confidence, you can also reduce the unproductive exaggerated flinch response and gradually replace it with a productive fighting response.

Learning to re-program or re-direct the flinch productively will gain quicker results, IMO, than mere suppression -i.e. just taking hits and trying to "learn not to flinch".

flinching is the exact opposite of a proactive reaction, you cant flinch and duck at the same time, as all your muscles tighten

 

[geezer]

...people who have never been hit dont flinch, why would they ?

Yeah, everybody has a certain degree of an innate "flinch" reaction, but what you so accurately point out referencing your dog is how bad experiences and abuse can instill greatly exaggerated flinch responses.

One hard wired flinch response is the blink when something pokes at your eyes, another is throwing up your hands when something suddenly and unexpectedly pops out at you, another is when one hand touches something hot and gets burned, people will involuntarily push out with the other ...and of course, as you say, tensing up which makes purposeful head movement (like in boxing) impossible.

But tensing and ducking (crouching down) do happen together ...as does ultimately curling up into a fetal position. Honestly, Jobo, I don't think we disagree here... Because flinching is reactive, it will be opposite to a proactive response. True enough.

 

[jobo]

Yeah, everybody has a certain degree of an innate "flinch" reaction, but what you so accurately point out referencing your dog is how bad experiences and abuse can instill greatly exaggerated flinch responses.

i don't think they have, move your hand quickly near a child or a dog that never been hit, they don't flinch, do it near one that been on the wrong end of a few good hiddings and they certainly do.

you could argue that its part of the flight, fight or freeze response, but if your not viewing it as a danger then a fear response is unlikely to occur and how do you learn that a fast moving hand is dangerous , ?

 

[jobo]

Yeah, everybody has a certain degree of an innate "flinch" reaction, but what you so accurately point out referencing your dog is how bad experiences and abuse can instill greatly exaggerated flinch responses.

One hard wired flinch response is the blink when something pokes at your eyes, another is throwing up your hands when something suddenly and unexpectedly pops out at you, another is when one hand touches something hot and gets burned, people will involuntarily push out with the other ...and of course, as you say, tensing up which makes purposeful head movement (like in boxing) impossible.

But tensing and ducking (crouching down) do happen together ...as does ultimately curling up into a fetal position. Honestly, Jobo, I don't think we disagree here...

no if you can duck or otherwise have control of your movements your not flinching (or if you are doing both, ducking wasnt a decision), which is extreme tension, you may be able to get into a fetal position, but not quickly

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

If you are good in your kick, when you see a punch coming toward your face, you can already see that your kick will land on your opponent's belly. If you see your opponent's punch is an opportunity, you will open your eyes big and also have a big smile on your face.

To have faith in your own MA skill and know how to take advantage on your opponent's punch is the key issue.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

people who have never been hit dont flinch, why would they ?

ok i had a rescue dog a good few years ago, that flinched every time i move my hand in his rough direction,

did i a) keep hitting him in the some what mistaken belief that he would get used to it and stop flinching
b) convince him my hand was not going to cause pain by not hitting him

clue it was B) though i did get bit quite a lot, i just convinced my self it didn't hurt and all was well after about 6 months

People do flinch when they've never been hit, if they think they'll be about to be hit. Happens all the time.

But a large reaction like what you're describing, where a motion towards the person or animal makes them think they're about to be hit is an entirely different situation. My advice wasn't for someone dealing with abuse/ptsd, but nothing in the OP suggested that was the case here.

 

[jobo]

People do flinch when they've never been hit, if they think they'll be about to be hit. Happens all the time.

But a large reaction like what you're describing, where a motion towards the person or animal makes them think they're about to be hit is an entirely different situation. My advice wasn't for someone dealing with abuse/ptsd, but nothing in the OP suggested that was the case here.

HAPPENS ALL THE TIME

lets examine that claim then

tell me all about ALL these people who have not previously been hit who flinched with you as a witness, don't forget to tell me how you establish they had never previously been hit

i didn't say he had been abused, i said he had previously been hit and your advice was to carry on being hit as if will magically cure the problem