Phil Elmore
Master of Arts
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2002
- Messages
- 1,514
- Reaction score
- 54
I've been house hunting, of late, and coincidentally I watched the classic film The Amityville Horror. That movie, intended to frighten us, actually contains very valuable lessons for property owners, not the least of which is that James Brolin and Margot Kidder should probably just rent to start.
The house spends a lot of time whispering, "Get out," and other similar commands. When you really think about it, though, the house is just trying to be helpful. "Get out," it tells its owners. "This house is haunted and bad things happen here. No, seriously, get oooouuuuutttt. Oh, and close the door, we're not paying to heat the outside. And turn off the water when you brush your teeth."
I got to thinking about the house and why it is haunted in the movie. Would I, I asked myself, buy a house whose former occupants had been murdered? Anyone who's house hunting will tell you, absolutely, if the price is right and if the former occupants pay to have the carpet cleaned. Make sure that part about the carpet is on the contract. Make the whole thing contingent on a home inspection and successful financing.
Now, the longer the family lives in the house, the more the evil spirits start to play all-work-and-no-play-makes-Jack-a-dull-boy with James Brolin's mind, convincing him that he should chase his family around trying to kill them. He doesn't succeed - which is good, given that it would make the holidays awkward for everyone - primarily because, though he may be possessed, he's still just a Dad, and all Dads everywhere forget what they just came in the room to get. Brolin spends a lot of time working himself into a demonic rage and then just wandering off, looking confused.
Yes, a house haunted by evil spirits has some definite disadvantages. There is that one room full of flies, for example, and if you have friends or family who happen to be clergy, it's best not to invite them over or ask them to open and close any of your haunted windows (which have a tendency to slam on the fingers of the non-evil and unwary). I picture James Brolin standing by his barbecue, chatting with this neighbors.
"How's the house, neighbor?"
"Oh," he'd say, "Not bad. Roof needs a little work. Garage door sticks when it's warm outside. Oh, and there's a portal to Hell in the basement."
"Ouch. That going to hurt your resale?"
"No, it's a good school district."
For sale? Sold!
The house spends a lot of time whispering, "Get out," and other similar commands. When you really think about it, though, the house is just trying to be helpful. "Get out," it tells its owners. "This house is haunted and bad things happen here. No, seriously, get oooouuuuutttt. Oh, and close the door, we're not paying to heat the outside. And turn off the water when you brush your teeth."
I got to thinking about the house and why it is haunted in the movie. Would I, I asked myself, buy a house whose former occupants had been murdered? Anyone who's house hunting will tell you, absolutely, if the price is right and if the former occupants pay to have the carpet cleaned. Make sure that part about the carpet is on the contract. Make the whole thing contingent on a home inspection and successful financing.
Now, the longer the family lives in the house, the more the evil spirits start to play all-work-and-no-play-makes-Jack-a-dull-boy with James Brolin's mind, convincing him that he should chase his family around trying to kill them. He doesn't succeed - which is good, given that it would make the holidays awkward for everyone - primarily because, though he may be possessed, he's still just a Dad, and all Dads everywhere forget what they just came in the room to get. Brolin spends a lot of time working himself into a demonic rage and then just wandering off, looking confused.
Yes, a house haunted by evil spirits has some definite disadvantages. There is that one room full of flies, for example, and if you have friends or family who happen to be clergy, it's best not to invite them over or ask them to open and close any of your haunted windows (which have a tendency to slam on the fingers of the non-evil and unwary). I picture James Brolin standing by his barbecue, chatting with this neighbors.
"How's the house, neighbor?"
"Oh," he'd say, "Not bad. Roof needs a little work. Garage door sticks when it's warm outside. Oh, and there's a portal to Hell in the basement."
"Ouch. That going to hurt your resale?"
"No, it's a good school district."
For sale? Sold!
) who hated life and his new school. His parents brought a haunted house with a vengeful ghost living in it. When his parents went out he threw a party for all those he hated and watched as the Ghost massacared all the hated people. Sorry that little post just reminded me of it and how disturbed I am........But yeah, I could do with a haunted house :ticked:
