Having trouble finding right level of intent and power with partners

crazydiamond

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I just struggle to find the right balance of energy, commitment, and speed with my partners. A good flow and commitment. It seems either I am getting a "pick it up!" from the instructor or a "whoa take it easy". My size makes it a bit challenging and I am sensitive to my partners well being

Perhaps just a beginner problem and continue to work on it.
 
Beginners do not generally have good control over the power they apply, so this is not uncommon. Don't worry about it, it will come in time. Consider that it is a teaching/learning experience. Typically we start with low speed, low power, then increase as both partners are able and willing. A little faster, a little more power. When one partner says 'good, no more', then we hold at that level until they say 'good, give me some more'. It takes time.
 
I just struggle to find the right balance of energy, commitment, and speed with my partners. A good flow and commitment. It seems either I am getting a "pick it up!" from the instructor or a "whoa take it easy". My size makes it a bit challenging and I am sensitive to my partners well being

Perhaps just a beginner problem and continue to work on it.
It is a beginner problem -- and sometimes a problem with your training partner, too. Bill's covered the beginner aspect, and there's really not much more to say (you'll learn in time both the control and what the right level may be) -- but the "other training partner" problem is different.

People train in martial arts for a variety of reasons. Those reasons -- and the student's egos -- can shape how they train. Those who train with a purpose that includes being able to use the techniques effectively have to accept that they will sometimes fail, and those failures may be painful. Some folks don't want that... and they train in ways that show it. They don't want punches thrown too close to them (if they don't block/evade, it might hurt). They don't want a hold applied to the point of pain, minimal discomfort is enough. And so on... So your teacher might tell you "pick it up" -- but your training partner doesn't want you to. And then there's that whole ego thing... if you throw the technique to realistically, I might look bad if I can't stop it... Ego bruises are often worse than "real" bruises, y'know?
 
Striking or wrestling?

For striking. Start your strikes fast with a relaxed arm but just let let them land on target without pushing through. It is sort of that end targeting that determines how much pep you are striking with.

When you are striking hard stiffen up more at the end. Don't try to push the guy with your strikes.

(Which becomes a bit of a contradiction with targeting behind the point of impact. But fighting is full of contradiction)

Anyway get that right and you will have more control of your intensity and at full power your punches will hurt more.
 
We do mixed martial arts of a type (JKDC and KALI). Grappling is minimal however in our art and I am glad for that as it even more an issue with my size if not may age from my side of things. Anyway - this leaves mostly punching, kicking, locks, blocks.

I think I do need to focus more on the relaxing and not stiffing up or adding force as Drop Bear mentioned. I think as I add intent, and some speed its natural for force to come up and i have to to learn to control that. Someone mentioned its kind of acting like your really tired as you strike. But even grips I have to work on.

JKS9199 I do get what your saying about the mindset of my partner. We train in a great school and art, and we have a variety of folks - men, women, high school kids, college kids, soccer moms, and older dad guys like me. I am sensitive to my "heavy weight class" when some partners pair up with me.
 
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I'm no beginner but this is how I work it out. I'll start at a low level of aggression and then raise it a little more if I can see that my opponent can handle it. This is the safest way to measure your power and intensity correctly. The one thing to keep in mind is that your blocks and defense needs to be full on. Every person is different, but in a school setting you'll usually learn through trial and error just how hard you can hit your fellow classmates. I always start low and increase the intensity. If my sparring partner tells me that I can hit harder then I increase it a little more until it reaches the level that he's comfortable with.
 
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