Funnies

[Gyakuto]

 

[Gyakuto]

 

[Gyakuto]

 

[Gyakuto]

…and finally…

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Last one's wrong.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

View attachment 31115

I think condoms or the lack thereof might make a better analogy here...

 

[drop bear]

 

[Gyakuto]

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing a rousing game of hide-and-seek​

Einstein begins to count to 10. Pascal runs and hides. Newton draws a one-meter by one-meter square in the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it.

Einstein reaches 10, uncovers his eyes, and exclaims "Newton! I found you! You're it!"

Newton replies, "You didn't find me. You found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!"

 

[Gyakuto]

A Higgs boson walks into church.
The priest says, "We don't allow Higgs bosons in here."
The Higgs boson replies, "Well, without me, you can't have mass."

 

[Gyakuto]

How do you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce ‘unionised’.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing a rousing game of hide-and-seek​

Einstein begins to count to 10. Pascal runs and hides. Newton draws a one-meter by one-meter square in the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it.

Einstein reaches 10, uncovers his eyes, and exclaims "Newton! I found you! You're it!"

Newton replies, "You didn't find me. You found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!"

How do you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce ‘unionised’.

How do you hide a $100 bill from an orthopaedic surgeon? Put it in a book.
How do you hide a $100 bill from a plastic surgeon? Trick question, you can’t $100 from a plastic surgeon.

 

[Gyakuto]

How do you hide a $100 bill from an orthopaedic surgeon? Put it in a book.
How do you hide a $100 bill from a plastic surgeon? Trick question, you can’t $100 from a plastic surgeon

Ha ha! I’m surprised orthopods have the same reputation in the USA

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

Ha ha! I’m surprised orthopods have the same reputation in the USA

Saint Peter and Saint Paul were having an argument over who was the greatest poet. Paul says Longfellow, Peter says Shakespeare. “okay they are both dead let’s have a contest.” “ Okay guys 27 words, no more, no less, and you must use the word Timbuktu.” Longfellow goes first and says “ As I crossed the burning sands, I spied a desert caravan, I knew that that day my wishes had come true for I had arrived in Timbuktu.” “ Very good” said St. Paul. Shakespeare went next and said, “ Friend Tim and I a hunting went, and spied three maidens in a tent, as they were three, and we were two, I bucked one and Timbuktu.”