Dungeons and Dragons humor

[Grenadier]

For those of you who play, or have played the game of Dungeons and Dragons, here's a bit of humor for you.

A group of adventurers were debating about what tactics they were going to use to destroy a demi-lich, which is essentially nothing more than a floating skull that can blast your entire party with unpleasant magical effects, being the remnants of a lich (skeletal mage).

One of the players in the group says "Well, I'm a paladin, so I'm going to use my 'Smite Evil' power on him to deal out some more damage than any of you could. Therefore, I'm going to smite his ***."

One of the other players in the group, being a Wizard, says "Uh, that's not going to work."

The paladin then angrily demands "Why not?!?"

The wizard says "he doesn't have one..."

 

[MA-Caver]

Oh you slay me... hoo hee ha ha ... wheee...


(that was an okay joke)

 

[JBrainard]

*Big sigh*

 

[SFC JeffJ]

Been years since I heard that one!

 

[terryl965]

That is almost as old as me, but still very funny

 

[arnisador]

Heh! Been there, said that!

 

[Rich Parsons]

Hmmmm, I thought (* From expereince *)

Wizard: "Wait! Let me see if I can trade him for a new spell first."

 

[Kreth]

I'm shocked and offended that a Paladin would utter the word ***. :uhoh:

 

[Cirdan]

I'm shocked and offended that a Paladin would utter the word ***. :uhoh:

I am not. I once heard a paladin say this:
" I need to pay the curch it`s cut from the treasure we found. Where is that f(beep)ing temple again?"

 

[Carol]

:idunno: Must have been a Ravenloft paladin.

 

[Cirdan]

I just think this guy had a problem keeping the paladin and his own personality separate.. one time when buying a new set of armor he reached for his wallet and tried to pay the gamemaster (me) in real cash

 

[Carol]

Now that's just scary.

Hope he had real gold pieces....LOL! Just kidding...

 

[Cirdan]

Hope he had real gold pieces....LOL! Just kidding...

Nope, no Cormyrean Gold Lions. Actually that was when his eyes lit up with understanding.

Well sweet water and light laughter. I`m off to milk the catoblepas and make some death cheese.

 

[Andy Moynihan]

Nope, no Cormyrean Gold Lions. Actually that was when his eyes lit up with understanding.

Well sweet water and light laughter. I`m off to milk the catoblepas and make some death cheese.

Gotta love those Forgotten Realms, though I'm a diehard Ravenloft fan myself.

 

[bushidomartialarts]

Funny.

And who remembers the head of vecna?

 

[SFC JeffJ]

Funny.

And who remembers the head of vecna?

Don't cut off your nose to spite your face, unless your name is Vecna.

 

[Doc_Jude]

Don't cut off your nose to spite your face, unless your name is Vecna.

I think you mean the HAND of Vecna. & the Eye.

Yeah, I was a D&D freak. RPGs in general, really.

 

[Doc_Jude]

Gotta love those Forgotten Realms, though I'm a diehard Ravenloft fan myself.

I always thought that Ravenloft was pretty cool, being a horror fan... that is, until my high lvl druid was thrown in there and practically rendered impotent.
I got pissed halfway through the 2nd session and attempted a suicide run on one of the Realm Lords (Strahd. Yeah, I really wanted to die). I got over it, though. A week later we were in Dark Sun, and the dwarves suffered. Oh yes, they suffered!

 

[cdunn]

Funny.

And who remembers the head of vecna?

Ah, that poor trusting PC who tries to put it on. That poor, brainless sod.

Personally, though, I'm all about the Nuyen.

 

[bushidomartialarts]

I think you mean the HAND of Vecna. & the Eye.

Yeah, I was a D&D freak. RPGs in general, really.

Nope the HEAD. Old joke playing on the Hand and Eye. Some poor jagoff PC is gonna chop off his own head to put it on.......