Dr. Laura sez Men cheating is all Women's fault

[shesulsa]

This absolutely misplaced, judgemental, from-the-crotch-of-her-three-day-old-panties opinion from this crone the likes of Judge Judy just makes me want to vomit.

VIEIRA: Are you saying women should feel guilty, like they somehow drove the man to cheat?


SCHLESSINGER: You know what, the cheating was his decision to repair what's damaged, and to feed himself where he's starving. But, yes, I hold women accountable for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need.

Story with video from the Huffington Post
Link to convo on wowowow.com

Sexual health in a relationship requires many facets of cooperation, but to publicly make this statement and the other statements made in the video are truly enough to enrage. I'm embarrassed to be in the same gender class as the two women being interviewed by Vieira.

 

[Rich Parsons]

This absolutely misplaced, judgemental, from-the-crotch-of-her-three-day-old-panties opinion from this crone the likes of Judge Judy just makes me want to vomit.



Story with video from the Huffington Post
Link to convo on wowowow.com

Sexual health in a relationship requires many facets of cooperation, but to publicly make this statement and the other statements made in the video are truly enough to enrage. I'm embarrassed to be in the same gender class as the two women being interviewed by Vieira.

So, as my ex- cheated on me it was my fault. Logic works both ways right?

It has nothing to do with making a choice or honoring one's life mate?

It is all about making the fault someone else's.

Responibility for a person's actions are their own.

Now, if the arguement had been, she had abused him verbally and emotionally and even physically then one could state that she may have driven him away from her. The same is true in reverse.

 

[theletch1]

Even I... a guy... find this to be absolutely crazy. Sure, many women mis-treat, neglect their men. Been there, done that. However, cheating or not cheating was a moral decision that I and I alone could make. While being "neglected" may start a man looking it can never be blamed for him making that last step. It's his honor to lose, not hers to take.

You're dead on, She-she, that the intimate part of a relationship is multi-faceted. I have found it, quite often, a good barometer of the relationship as a whole.

 

[Ceicei]

Well, Dr. Laura did say later on in that show that even if a woman tried all she could, the guy could still be the jerk and she would not necessarily be the one at fault. I bolded the part below:

Schlessinger said later in the show that there are some instances in which it doesn’t matter what the wife does. “If he’s sociopathic or narcissistic, all bets are off,” she said. “The woman can be the best person in the world, and he’s going to be a jerk.” But most men aren’t like that, she said, adding, “The average husband longs for one thing, and that’s to be special to his woman.”

Kotb asked her if she would stand by her husband as Silda Spitzer and Matos did by theirs in a similar situation.
“If I had been a truly loving, caretaking, supportive wife, and my husband did such an egregious thing, his butt would be standing there by itself,” Schlessinger replied.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23575221/

I would like to remind Dr. Laura, that women also want to be considered special by their men. If men stray, this is not a way of telling their wives that they're special. The decision to stray is his, and his alone, to make.

Ceicei

 

[Archangel M]

If this was a case of the wife "freezing out" [so to speak] a nice guy or there was some evidence that the guy was made to look elsewhere for affection/sexual gratification because of some alienation of affection, then PERHAPS there would be some basis for discussion on this topic. But as there is no evidence that this was the case here, I cant understand why Dr. Laura is bringing it up.

 

[terryl965]

Well I have to say being a guy I have to dis agree if I cheated, I need to stand up and take blame for my own action, not turn on to somone else. Geez some people.

 

[Archangel M]

Well to be totally honest, if I was stuck in a sexless marriage with a wife who made me feel worthless and there was little hope of things changing but wanted to keep up a stable home for the kids, I cant say I wouldnt "look elsewhere". Would starting a real relationship with another woman and all the emotional baggage that brings with it be better than just paying cash for satisfaction?

Not really saying I would, but I can sort of see her point in a vauge way.

 

[shesulsa]

The most egregious act this woman purports on her listeners and even those of us who got over listening to her when we all found out she was dishing out therapy when she didn't even have a therapy license ...

(inhales loud, long and deep then says really fast)

:cuss:... is that she goes about her career dropping the names of Rabbis, Doctors, Therapists and has essentially given herself the job of Morality Expert Extraordinaire, asking everyone who calls her or even glances in her general direction (you know - anywhere near the North American continent) what their moral dilemma is as though the morality issue is the panacea to ALL answers confounding the poor, uneducated, unenlightened minds of America At Large and thank goodness she's there to put the moral spin on things because when someone is in a moral dilemma and they have clearly defined their moral boundaries and honed their moral compass all answers should be fairly simple if one would just pay homage to their import and isn't that what therapy should really all be about - that guilt-ridden, angst-sodden dogmatic drudgery that everyone adjusts their sexuality, material desire, nutritional appetite, vocational goals and achievements to so to create peace and harmony in one heart and, thus, all hearts and minds so that we're not all a bunch of whiny, weak, amoral infants?????

(inhales long, loud and deep again, panting for breath)

Excuse me ... I haven't GOTTEN LAID in a while. Perhaps I should send my HUSBAND to DR LAURA!!!! (just kidding, folks)

Actually I think I need to pull out my copies of the Bible KJV and the Q'uran ... I must have missed a commandment somewhere ....

 

[shesulsa]

God's statement to Adam was that he must love his wife as he loves himself.

So there.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Dr. Lauras point is that if you are half assed about your responsibilities in a relationship you can expect half assed results... either way.
sean

 

[Rich Parsons]

Well to be totally honest, if I was stuck in a sexless marriage with a wife who made me feel worthless and there was little hope of things changing but wanted to keep up a stable home for the kids, I cant say I wouldnt "look elsewhere". Would starting a real relationship with another woman and all the emotional baggage that brings with it be better than just paying cash for satisfaction?

Not really saying I would, but I can sort of see her point in a vauge way.

Take out the "IF" and the "kids" and that was me. I still did not look elsewhere. I tried to work with her and her depression. I tried to work with her and her spending issues. I tried to work with her and her other issues.

I even asked is she wanted to see a counsiler on together or own her own. Her reply was that is was all me and that I could see a counsiler if I wanted to, but she was not.

 

[Rich Parsons]

The most egregious act this woman purports on her listeners and even those of us who got over listening to her when we all found out she was dishing out therapy when she didn't even have a therapy license ...

(inhales loud, long and deep then says really fast)

:cuss:... is that she goes about her career dropping the names of Rabbis, Doctors, Therapists and has essentially given herself the job of Morality Expert Extraordinaire, asking everyone who calls her or even glances in her general direction (you know - anywhere near the North American continent) what their moral dilemma is as though the morality issue is the panacea to ALL answers confounding the poor, uneducated, unenlightened minds of America At Large and thank goodness she's there to put the moral spin on things because when someone is in a moral dilemma and they have clearly defined their moral boundaries and honed their moral compass all answers should be fairly simple if one would just pay homage to their import and isn't that what therapy should really all be about - that guilt-ridden, angst-sodden dogmatic drudgery that everyone adjusts their sexuality, material desire, nutritional appetite, vocational goals and achievements to so to create peace and harmony in one heart and, thus, all hearts and minds so that we're not all a bunch of whiny, weak, amoral infants?????

(inhales long, loud and deep again, panting for breath)

Excuse me ... I haven't GOTTEN LAID in a while. Perhaps I should send my HUSBAND to DR LAURA!!!! (just kidding, folks)

Actually I think I need to pull out my copies of the Bible KJV and the Q'uran ... I must have missed a commandment somewhere ....

AMEN!

 

[Archangel M]

Well, having kids changes a lot of things. In your situation I would have just dumped her. But I do respect your willingness to work things out.

My wife and I have had our ups and downs as all have. But fortunately nothing this bad has ever happened. IMO one of the fundamental problems in the "battle of the sexes" is that guys seem to need (at least I do) sex to feel connected/affectionate to the girl. While girls need to feel connected/affectionate to want to have sex. If things are going well, things go well. The longer the "dry spell" gets the more agitated each side gets with the other.

Is that what happened here? Who knows, but I dont think so. I think Spitzer was used to doing what ever he wanted and buying whatever he wanted and wasnt all to concerned with what others think or feel. His whole drivers licences for illegals fiasco just illustrated that. At one point I think he outright said "I dont care what the people think."

 

[shesulsa]

Take out the "IF" and the "kids" and that was me. I still did not look elsewhere. I tried to work with her and her depression. I tried to work with her and her spending issues. I tried to work with her and her other issues.

I even asked is she wanted to see a counsiler on together or own her own. Her reply was that is was all me and that I could see a counsiler if I wanted to, but she was not.

artyon:

Gawd, I think even the Good :barf: Doctor Laura could agree to this: when you are committed to another person and have SWORN YOURSELF to this person, it is incumbent upon you to go through burning hellfire with them to get past the illness, past the depression to the core of the matter - even if that core is that you no longer belong together.

Well to be totally honest, if I was stuck in a sexless marriage with a wife who made me feel worthless and there was little hope of things changing but wanted to keep up a stable home for the kids, I cant say I wouldnt "look elsewhere". Would starting a real relationship with another woman and all the emotional baggage that brings with it be better than just paying cash for satisfaction?

Not really saying I would, but I can sort of see her point in a vauge way.

One person's sexual disinterest or neglectful behavior is not the indication that one must go fornicating elsewhere.

Do I understand sex drive? Heh. Heh heh. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ask my husband ... when we wakes up ... from his vitamin E insufficiency coma.

But for a "Moral Expert" to say a woman is at fault for "discarding a perfectly good man" is SO WRONG it's not even laughable. First of all - who said he was good? Who the hell said he was "Perfectly Good?" And ah ... what about that thar "moral compass" on HIS account there, Laura? What morals did he pull up from his boots when we sought out a hooker instead of ... well, calling HER?

 

[Carol]

Meh. She slept with a program director and posed nekkid for him to get her first radio gig.

As far as I'm concerned, she's just finding new ways of prostituting herself.

 

[tellner]

This absolutely misplaced, judgemental, from-the-crotch-of-her-three-day-old-panties opinion from this crone the likes of Judge Judy just makes me want to vomit.

And this surprises you?

"Doctor" Laura has made her entire career out of beating up on women, telling them that everything about them is bad and that whatever happens is their fault because they're women. She's got the classic virgin/whore thing going, a streak of smug self-righteousness a mile wide and a personal life which makes you wince to read about.

She doesn't like women plain and simple.

Her fans call her up to be berated, belittled and beaten up.

So of course cheating happens because the woman is bad or because she isn't younger, blonder, nicer and with bigger boobs. Most of all it happens because they won't shut up and be little Stepford Total Women.

When Susan Faludi talks about the backlash she's got that pious old fraud in her sights.

 

[Sukerkin]

1) The average husband longs for one thing, and that’s to be special to his woman.


2) Women also want to be considered special by their men.

I think this belongs up there with "To thine own self be true" and other core statements regarding the human condition.

Speaking generally, rather than joining in with the discussion of the particular woman whose the main ... erm ... thrust ... of the thread, there are problems where sex drives are not matched closely enough. This can be wherever one of the partners in a relationship, regardless of gender, has physical desires either greater or less than their significant other.

The moral high ground is a nice place to stand but I'm not to sure that everyone can fit up there. Relationships, regardless of the otherwise fine character of the people involved, sometimes cannot withstand the stresses brought on by sexual imbalance. We have to beware of judging harshly those who have been in situations we have not.

To use a real world example, a while ago, I was in a 'relationship' (and I use the term loosely) with an absolutely beautiful (Sophia Loren look-alike) girl. I was more than ten years her senior but at first that didn't seem to matter much ... until it turned out that she was a bona fide nymphomaniac and I was her 'first'.

I know that at this moment every man here is going "And ... ?!" but it was a genuinely serious problem. The imbalance in 'drive' is what broke us up because, once she started, she was incapable of remaining faithful. The sex drive is a massively powerful one and, almost, cannot be denied. So I do not, nowadays, hold her in disdain because she, literaly, could not help herself. I likewise, having lived through such an episode, am reluctantly to 'judge' anyone's antics when they are people I do not know well.

 

[Andy Moynihan]

The moral high ground is a nice place to stand but I'm not to sure that everyone can fit up there.

Dude I am SO stealing that!

 

[Andy Moynihan]

VIEIRA: Are you saying women should feel guilty, like they somehow drove the man to cheat?


SCHLESSINGER: You know what, the cheating was his decision to repair what's damaged, and to feed himself where he's starving. But, yes, I hold women accountable for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need.

Huh?

 

[Sukerkin]

Dude I am SO stealing that!

I'm flattered and you're quite welcome - copyright waived .