Does a double-standard exist on the perception of retaliation by men or women right after an assault?

[GreenieMeanie]

I watched a video presentation, where woman was touched inappropriately by a man, who walked away immediately after. She grabbed him and pinned him. I'm not going to defend the guy, but a number of us had to wonder if her actions were not only smart, but also legal. I don't know of any credible self-defense instructor that encourages violence when there isn't an active physical threat. The audience of the clip cheered this on, and the presenter encouraged it. When challenged, she said that the prosecutors she spoke to approved of the woman's actions. When asked if this would still be acceptable if the roles were reversed, she also said yes.

My first question--was she in the right?

My second question, if she wasn't-- does a double-standard exist on the perception of retaliation by men or women right after an assault?

 

[drop bear]

She was in the right.

There is a double standard.

But it is complicated because there is almost always a physical power discrepancy. And technically you should be using enough force to adress the threat. Not just the intent.

Sorry I thought you were describing that girl dv vs guy dv social experiment thing.

I am fully on board with chasing someone down and slapping them if they sexualy assult someone.

 

[drop bear]

 

[drop bear]

Where for example I have no issues with this after the threat assult.

Because I just don’t like bullying.

 

[GreenieMeanie]

She was in the right.

There is a double standard.

But it is complicated because there is almost always a physical power discrepancy. And technically you should be using enough force to adress the threat. Not just the intent.

Sorry I thought you were describing that girl dv vs guy dv social experiment thing.

I am fully on board with chasing someone down and slapping them if they sexualy assult someone.

So you’re stance, is that it works both ways—but in practice, there is a double-standard if the man is being assaulted.

I fully understand get what you mean about the power discrepancy.

 

[GreenieMeanie]

Never seen that one before, truly upsetting to watch, and not really surprising from the stories I’ve heard.

 

[skribs]

What you are talking about is a citizen's arrest. Assuming he was pinned down until authorities arrive, a citizen's arrest seems warranted in a sexual assault.

 

[drop bear]

What you are talking about is a citizen's arrest. Assuming he was pinned down until authorities arrive, a citizen's arrest seems warranted in a sexual assault.

The thing is I don't think an *** pinch would have any legitimacy for a citizens arrest.

I don't think the police would bother to prosecute that.

Which would also Be a double standard. That for the most part men could do it and legally get away with it.

 

[GreenieMeanie]

The thing is I don't think an *** pinch would have any legitimacy for a citizens arrest.

I don't think the police would bother to prosecute that.

Which would also Be a double standard. That for the most part men could do it and legally get away with it.

I suspect, depending on the situation and culture, men would be laughed at for calling police over an *** pinch. I’ve heard stories of women inflicting proper tissue damage, and that was the result.

 

[GreenieMeanie]

What you are talking about is a citizen's arrest. Assuming he was pinned down until authorities arrive, a citizen's arrest seems warranted in a sexual assault.

I wouldn’t call it a “citizen’s arrest.” She reacted and pinned him down without any obvious endgame. He was a marshmallow, shocked and awed, didn’t fight back. If he had, it would have gotten much more violent for her.

 

[drop bear]

I suspect, depending on the situation and culture, men would be laughed at for calling police over an *** pinch. I’ve heard stories of women inflicting proper tissue damage, and that was the result.

I don't think you would find a case where a woman gets her *** pinched. Arrests the guy and he gets prosecuted. Unless everyone knew everyone. Like a work situation or something.

 

[drop bear]

 

[GreenieMeanie]

I don't think you would find a case where a woman gets her *** pinched. Arrests the guy and he gets prosecuted. Unless everyone knew everyone. Like a work situation or something.

I don’t think you would find a case of either getting their *** pinched, and resulting in a prosecution.

 

[skribs]

I suspect, depending on the situation and culture, men would be laughed at for calling police over an *** pinch. I’ve heard stories of women inflicting proper tissue damage, and that was the result.

I wouldn’t call it a “citizen’s arrest.” She reacted and pinned him down without any obvious endgame. He was a marshmallow, shocked and awed, didn’t fight back. If he had, it would have gotten much more violent for her.

You didn't link to the video. You didn't provide specific details in your post about the nature of the incident or the result of the pin.

You can't really blame me for not having all of the information.

 

[Hot Lunch]

I remember two distinct times where this happened to me, both within days of each other during Mardis Gras 2004 in Mobile, AL. On paper, the Mardis Gras in Mobile is supposed to "family friendly" (it is compared to New Orleans, but that isn't saying much).

Anyhow, one particular instance was a woman groping my buttocks, and me having no choice but to let it go. If I had retaliated, I'd have gotten stomped by the crowd and hauled off to jail.

The other instance involved a gay man. To provide background, downtown Mobile has alot of bars, and at least half of them are gay bars. Even if you go to a non-gay bar, the gays tend to bar hop to them as well. Anyhow, the bar I was in was pretty noisey, and a gay guy wanted to "tell me something", so I leaned my ear over to him, and he licked it. Considering how large the gay community appeared to be in that area, it probably wouldn't have been safe for me to retaliate, so I left immediately.

Although maybe not to the same extent as a woman (could be lesser, or even greater), I imagine a masculine straight man being seen beating up an effeminate gay man wouldn't end too well for the former either.

 

[GreenieMeanie]

You didn't link to the video. You didn't provide specific details in your post about the nature of the incident or the result of the pin.

You can't really blame me for not having all of the information.

I would have, but it’s a long-*** video.

 

[GreenieMeanie]

I remember two distinct times where this happened to me, both within days of each other during Mardis Gras 2004 in Mobile, AL. On paper, the Mardis Gras in Mobile is supposed to "family friendly" (it is compared to New Orleans, but that isn't saying much).

Anyhow, one particular instance was a woman groping my buttocks, and me having no choice but to let it go. If I had retaliated, I'd have gotten stomped by the crowd and hauled off to jail.

The other instance involved a gay man. To provide background, downtown Mobile has alot of bars, and at least half of them are gay bars. Even if you go to a non-gay bar, the gays tend to bar hop to them as well. Anyhow, the bar I was in was pretty noisey, and a gay guy wanted to "tell me something", so I leaned my ear over to him, and he licked it. Considering how large the gay community appeared to be in that area, it probably wouldn't have been safe for me to retaliate, so I left immediately.

Although maybe not to the same extent as a woman (could be lesser, or even greater), I imagine a masculine straight man being seen beating up an effeminate gay man wouldn't end too well for the former either.

That is a very adept perspective, and an aspect of self-defense I rarely see talked about.

 

[Holmejr]

Most folks simply think if a man is getting assaulted by a woman in public, they probably deserved it. And most folk simply think if a man is assaulting a woman he’s a jerk or worse. Man are stronger physically and have the upper hand most things physical. That is why we don’t see trans men excelling in men’s sports.

Now, men get their butts kicked daily in verbal sparring matches against women a fraction of their size…

 

[Hot Lunch]

Most folks simply think if a man is getting assaulted by a woman in public, they probably deserved it. And most folk simply think if a man is assaulting a woman he’s a jerk or worse.

It's also possible that people are fully aware of these biases, and don't care. A lot of guys want to be that hero that saves the damsel, and they don't care who's in the wrong.

Man are stronger physically and have the upper hand most things physical.

If you're a short wimpy guy, you're going to know not to cross a guy twice your size that you know could snap you like a twig. Otherwise, when it happens, nobody's gonna feel sorry for you when they see it happening to you, and they're not gonna try to step in and save you.

The same can't be said of women.

That's why I find the argument that men need to be more passive with women on the account of having greater physical strength to be disingenuous. Otherwise, it would also apply to dealings with physically weaker men as well. But it doesn't. Physically weaker men are expected to know better. Women aren't.

That is why we don’t see trans men excelling in men’s sports.

I'd love to address to this, but that rabbit hole will detract from the subject of this thread.

 

[Buka]

If we see you pinch the --- of any woman in my former law enforcement jurisdiction you're getting pinched back - as in arrested.