Do you consider personal financial wellness as a part of your self defense plan

[Brian King]

Do you consider personal financial wellness as a part of your self defense plan

Considering the times that we are living in with all the uncertainties, the fears and the hypes, I am wondering how many others consider financial wellness as a part of their self defense strategies for both themselves and their family’s well being.
If so what advice/methods/strategies/plans have helped you the most and how has it?
Side note *** I am hoping that the thread can stay non political even during this silly season. I am thinking that some members may have advice that will help out other members who now find themselves in situations that others had previously not only found themselves in but have managed to survive and thrive anyway.

Warmest Regards
Brian King

 

[MA-Caver]

Do you consider personal financial wellness as a part of your self defense plan

Considering the times that we are living in with all the uncertainties, the fears and the hypes, I am wondering how many others consider financial wellness as a part of their self defense strategies for both themselves and their family’s well being.
If so what advice/methods/strategies/plans have helped you the most and how has it?
Side note *** I am hoping that the thread can stay non political even during this silly season. I am thinking that some members may have advice that will help out other members who now find themselves in situations that others had previously not only found themselves in but have managed to survive and thrive anyway.

Warmest Regards
Brian King

I answered yes and will definitely (for my part anyway) keep this thread non political. :uhyeah:
Financial wellness is definitely a good common sense self-defense plan. It's sad that money has become very important over the last 100 years yes, it's always been important since bartering stopped and trade for gold began and it became currency.
But making sure one has enough of it to get around or to accomplish things that are needed (not wanted) for the future or immediate future. This also includes insurance, particularly health. Having a good health insurance provider is in it's own way a part of a good Martial Artist these days.
A strong MA-ist is capable of bouncing back from their hurts/wounds. Even if you end up going to the hospital after a confrontation (ok, you won it) the fact that you can pay for the hospitalization and get well quickly because of it improves your chances of continuing wellness.
It's also mentally beneficial knowing that you're okay financially. No worries. You probably don't have to be rich, but doing well enough that you and yours are going to be okay in the long run, no matter what happens.

Good thread.

p.s. do us a favor and keep the default font makes reading easier for some of us.

 

[Rich Parsons]

Do you consider personal financial wellness as a part of your self defense plan

Considering the times that we are living in with all the uncertainties, the fears and the hypes, I am wondering how many others consider financial wellness as a part of their self defense strategies for both themselves and their family’s well being.
If so what advice/methods/strategies/plans have helped you the most and how has it?
Side note *** I am hoping that the thread can stay non political even during this silly season. I am thinking that some members may have advice that will help out other members who now find themselves in situations that others had previously not only found themselves in but have managed to survive and thrive anyway.

Warmest Regards
Brian King

I consider financial security part of my self defense. Being able to put your hands on some money to fix your house. I know most people were depending upon the Home Equity loans but most have gone away. So, if something bad happens (* not wanting it to for anyone *) then you need to be able to put enough down to get the company fixing your home or car to finance you. Even though the easy cash/loans are gone, with a good credit you can still show good intentions and get by emergencies a little bit better.

My opinion of course.

 

[shesulsa]

Absolutely.

One approach we use is refuse to use credit cards as much as possible but enough to keep our credit ratings up. We overpay on mortgages and the credit card balance if there is any.

Probably the most important is some oftentimes hardline decisions on whether we need what we are buying. My children's rooms are not overflowing with "stuff;" our decor is minimal; I won't buy packaged drinks - my kids drink water. Whenever we see something "cute" or "nifty" we think and talk out critically if it's something we *need* or would significanly improve efficiency and base the purchase decision upon that.

We have cheap cel phones on the AT&T network and have signal almost anywhere. I have come to value this network and sturdy but uncomplicated cel phones (from Craig's List) as good self-defense and emergency tools. Selecting a good plan and developing good phone habits keeps that bill down. I like the ability to control the times my kids use the phone and even limit who they talk to and text with. It's a very user-friendly system and it always allows 911 and incoming calls from emergency call centers as well. This really controls costs for us while providing a good combination of preparedness and convenience.

Going out to dinner or to the movies is a *treat* rather than a regular occurence. Our kids find pleasure in getting outdoors and play-fighting, re-enacting epic movies, riding bikes, playing football with the neighbor kids. Good, healthy and FREE entertainment.

We trade labor for firewood. Neighbors will cut down trees and wind up with the larger sections of the trunk on their lawn for some time. Hauling it away is spendy and they may not be the firewood kind of folk. My husband will go and haul it away for free and we get to keep the wood for free. He'll split it and cut it and the kids will stack it and bring it in. The wood-burning stove insert we have affords us (along with fringe benefits) good heat throughout the house and a low electric bill. We can also cook on it if we must, so when the power goes out we have a heat source we can also cook on.

Reading back on my post, it's mainly about frugality, but with that comes the benefit of financial wellness. The majority of our assets are tied into solid assets rather than the stock market or banks. We have some investments small enough to rapidly convert to liquidity should we need it and a few other safeguards I won't mention.

I hope that answers your question.

 

[tshadowchaser]

Wish I had. I lived for the moment and my bank account shows it today

 

[stickarts]

Yes.

 

[Tez3]

Absolutely.

One approach we use is refuse to use credit cards as much as possible but enough to keep our credit ratings up. We overpay on mortgages and the credit card balance if there is any.

Probably the most important is some oftentimes hardline decisions on whether we need what we are buying. My children's rooms are not overflowing with "stuff;" our decor is minimal; I won't buy packaged drinks - my kids drink water. Whenever we see something "cute" or "nifty" we think and talk out critically if it's something we *need* or would significanly improve efficiency and base the purchase decision upon that.

We have cheap cel phones on the AT&T network and have signal almost anywhere. I have come to value this network and sturdy but uncomplicated cel phones (from Craig's List) as good self-defense and emergency tools. Selecting a good plan and developing good phone habits keeps that bill down. I like the ability to control the times my kids use the phone and even limit who they talk to and text with. It's a very user-friendly system and it always allows 911 and incoming calls from emergency call centers as well. This really controls costs for us while providing a good combination of preparedness and convenience.

Going out to dinner or to the movies is a *treat* rather than a regular occurence. Our kids find pleasure in getting outdoors and play-fighting, re-enacting epic movies, riding bikes, playing football with the neighbor kids. Good, healthy and FREE entertainment.

We trade labor for firewood. Neighbors will cut down trees and wind up with the larger sections of the trunk on their lawn for some time. Hauling it away is spendy and they may not be the firewood kind of folk. My husband will go and haul it away for free and we get to keep the wood for free. He'll split it and cut it and the kids will stack it and bring it in. The wood-burning stove insert we have affords us (along with fringe benefits) good heat throughout the house and a low electric bill. We can also cook on it if we must, so when the power goes out we have a heat source we can also cook on.

Reading back on my post, it's mainly about frugality, but with that comes the benefit of financial wellness. The majority of our assets are tied into solid assets rather than the stock market or banks. We have some investments small enough to rapidly convert to liquidity should we need it and a few other safeguards I won't mention.

I hope that answers your question.

This doesn't sound just about frugality tbh, it sounds like a sensible, comfortable way to live where people not possessions are the more valued assets! You may not be 'rich' in monetary terms but I think you are at the very least millionaires in what you have with your family! Btw it's lovely when your kids are grown up, working and take you out for meals!!

Our medical care is free so I don't have to worry about that but what money does do for me is enable me to be able to use a car or taxis so I don't have to rely on public transport if I go into a city which makes life a bit safer. I do have assets that are easily reached if I have to move anywhere quickly though.
Slightly off topic but within it, if any fo you can get to see a BBC programme called 'Who do you think you are?' do try and watch the Jerry Springer episode. It's a programme that traces back a celebrity's roots. Springer's was very moving as he traced his family back to the gas chambers in German but the main thing was how his parents managed to escape literally by the skin of thier teeth. The importance of having some assets you can realise quickly to move out of danger has never been shown to be more important than in his parents case. For my mother it was the same though she didn't escape until after the camps were liberated but it's been drummed into my head to have something to hand quickly so I could move quickly in times of need.

 

[Imua Kuntao]

A friend of mine, another Black Belt from a different style (KMA), asked me which I would rather have if money became no good. He was asking if our country turned to anarchy or a police state what would be better. My answer was this, silver might be good for getting chickens or other food stuff, but gold might buy your life or your familes lives. Survivalist sometimes think too much, or maybe not enuff.

 

[terryl965]

No I beleive in that on my own, my MA training is just that training the mind and body to be one, the wallet is a seperate piece all together.

 

[Kacey]

Self-defense? Not in the sense of budgeting and planning (although I do those, for my financial health, which is reasonably good at the moment) - but I do check my credit report, accounts, and mail regularly for unfamiliar/unrecognizable entries - so yes, I monitor my financial data for any signs that someone may have stolen my identity, and I consider that to be a defensive strategy - but the rest is a separate issue, except in that knowing my current financial status helps me spot anything untoward quickly.

I didn't vote because my answer is both "yes" and "no" - depending on exactly how you meant the question.

 

[Brian King]

Thanks all for participating in the conversation and sharing your thoughts and experiences. I appreciate it and hope that others not just I can perhaps learn from the conversations and the conversations yet to come.

MA-Caver wrote:

“It's also mentally beneficial knowing that you're okay financially. No worries. You probably don't have to be rich, but doing well enough that you and yours are going to be okay in the long run, no matter what happens.”

While I am not yet there I have to give a shout out in agreement. This year in particular has been financially tumultuous for me, yet by having started to get my financial house so as to speak in order last year; all the incidents and drama have had little effect on me. No loss of sleep, no distractions from work or relationships. A little belt tightening and giving up wants as not needed and being able to stay on plan in spite of Murphy occasionally showing up has been mentally empowering and freeing. If I had not started to get things straightened out I do not think I could say the same thing.

“This also includes insurance, particularly health. Having a good health insurance provider is in it's own way a part of a good Martial Artist these days.”

I agree MA-Caver and not just health insurance but term life insurance as well and just as important a will and last testament should also be kept. Years ago before I had good insurance I had to buy crummy insurance but I was able to afford it by keeping my deductible VERY large and keeping an emergency fund in the bank not to be touched for any reason other than an emergency. It took me a few tries before I was able to get out of the habit of a Friday night date being considered an emergency.

Sorry bout the font brother, using my laptop instead of my desktop and thought that it was the screen making it hard to read, didn’t notice the font size changing.


Shesulsa
Thank you for your comments. I thought it very important and encouraging. Living with-in your means, having patience to wait for things and to enjoy the simple things are all counter today’s societal norms and expectations. You children may not know it but the lessons that you and your husband are teaching them will make their life so rewarding and rich (both in substance and in finance) Others may have fancy cars and go out to the best restaurants but they are also the ones in panic as their house of cards (credit cards) is built on shifting sand and that sand is shifting all the time. The merry-go-round is easier to step off in my opinion if you never get on it.

Shesulsa the most powerful word in your comments above is WE. Out of wedlock births and divorce are always among the number 1-3 reasons for people being broke (serious health emergencies is also amongst those relating to MA-Cavers comment above). One of the top reasons of divorce is fighting and arguing about money. I did not count the number of times you said we but it is key I think. The family must be on the same page. Shesulsa, I am not married so I was wondering if you could maybe give some thought and based on your experiences or based on other married people that you know, do you have any comments or advice on how both husband and wife can get on the same page (were you and your husband always on the same page?) and stay on the same page for the married people that might be reading this thread yet not themselves on the same page financially speaking.

Tshadowchaser wrote:

“Wish I had. I lived for the moment and my bank account shows it today”

Thanks for the honest reply. It is never to late my friend. LOL Back in the very early 1980’s I had a baseball cap that said across the front “if it weren’t for women and booze I would be wealthy” I made a lot of mistakes before then and have made a lot since then. I try to learn from them and try not to repeat them too many times. The main thing I think I have learned is to not give up. Thanks sir for the honest and humble statement. It might help others that also find themselves in the same shoes.

Tez3 wrote:

“if any fo you can get to see a BBC programme called 'Who do you think you are?' do try and watch”

Thanks for the recommendation I will look for it.

“For my mother it was the same though she didn't escape until after the camps were liberated but it's been drummed into my head to have something to hand quickly so I could move quickly in times of need.”

I watched a documentary a while back about one of the death camps. One of the survivors took a couple of minutes describing her duties (cleaning parts of the camp) and described the last path. Between fences on the way to the chambers was the path that the murdered would take. It was littered with thousands of little pieces of paper. She said it took her a couple of days to figure out what they were. Money that was saved and hidden through all kinds of horror, the last hope that it might buy a way out, a means of making things easier, the people once on this path would realize that it would do no good and rather than let the Nazi’s have this last bit of theirs they would surreptitiously tear the money into tiny little bits and these were what was lining the path. I cried at the mental image of that last hope dying just before they would yet I also cried at that last bit resistance. It helped me to turn away from the chase that I have spent years on and to revisit my life and to change what my priorities are.

“but what money does do for me is enable me to be able to use a car or taxis so I don't have to rely on public transport if I go into a city which makes life a bit safer. “

Great point Tez3. While I was bouncing I soon lost my amazement at the number of young women who would show up at the club with only just barely enough money to pay the cover, or they would eye the club they could see from the door and making eye contact with someone that they knew from the club would have them pay the cover. They would spend all night flirting with different guys and getting drinks, flowers and such bought for them. There was more than one fight amongst their potential suitors, and more than one young lady found herself in compromising situations due to lack of discretionary funds.

Imua Kuntao wrote:

“My answer was this, silver might be good for getting chickens or other food stuff, but gold might buy your life or your familes lives.”

Talking to friends that have done security work in disaster areas rather than money, gold or jewels being considered valuable it was commodities that were of value. Clean drinkable water, food, cigarettes, ammunition etc.
Thanks for your thoughts.

Kacey wrote:

“Not in the sense of budgeting and planning (although I do those, for my financial health, which is reasonably good at the moment”

Thanks Kacey. I have to admit that my budgeting is one of my main weaknesses. I have always been able to earn money when I needed money. This allowed me to be able to out earn stupid LOL but only for a couple of decades. It gets old. Budgeting has really helped yet I still have a difficult time coming up with a good budget then sticking to it. Have there been any tricks or advice that has helped you to stick to your budgets?

“so yes, I monitor my financial data for any signs that someone may have stolen my identity, and I consider that to be a defensive strategy”

Good advice. I do not do this and need to get off my behind and start to do so. If I understand right the credit agencies have to give you your credit check info once a year. There are three main credit check companies Equifax is one I can not remember the other two. But three companies would mean getting with one every four months so that the year is covered at all times. That said I find I keep putting it off. Thanks for the kick and reminder. Awareness is king and I have been leaving myself open and blind.

Regards
Brian King

 

[shesulsa]

First, I'd like to acknowledge the contributions of others to this thread as being quite vital - insurance, realization, identity monitoring and plain old budgeting are all very important as well. You don't keep healthy wealth or good money habits by ignoring your finances.

Shesulsa
Thank you for your comments. I thought it very important and encouraging. Living with-in your means, having patience to wait for things and to enjoy the simple things are all counter today’s societal norms and expectations. You children may not know it but the lessons that you and your husband are teaching them will make their life so rewarding and rich (both in substance and in finance) Others may have fancy cars and go out to the best restaurants but they are also the ones in panic as their house of cards (credit cards) is built on shifting sand and that sand is shifting all the time. The merry-go-round is easier to step off in my opinion if you never get on it.

Brian, some people justify this as "living." Why exist, why "suffer" when you "live?" I hear, "Life is short," and "Time is a thief." Indeed. I don't want to lie on my death bed remembering my family with their heads behind menus or scrutinizing their order. But the definition of "living" is relative for each person's values, I suppose. Thankfully, however, if we arrive at the kind of energy crisis such that we have no electricity, my children will still be having fun, living life, adapting. Believe me, I know what I'm doing when I lock the movies and video games in the closet, hand them the football and shoo them out the door.

Thanks for the comments.

Shesulsa the most powerful word in your comments above is WE. Out of wedlock births and divorce are always among the number 1-3 reasons for people being broke (serious health emergencies is also amongst those relating to MA-Cavers comment above). One of the top reasons of divorce is fighting and arguing about money. I did not count the number of times you said we but it is key I think. The family must be on the same page. Shesulsa, I am not married so I was wondering if you could maybe give some thought and based on your experiences or based on other married people that you know, do you have any comments or advice on how both husband and wife can get on the same page (were you and your husband always on the same page?) and stay on the same page for the married people that might be reading this thread yet not themselves on the same page financially speaking.

This is tough to answer. I think people need to be on the same financial page before they marry. It ought to be part of a marriage negotiation or planning for the future. Open discussion. I also think folks need to not be afraid of disagreeing, rather find a way to look at what's important to them, what's reasonable within traditional budgeting guidelines and a solid day-to-day plan for making it work.

Couples not on the same page and who can't seem to get on the same page might consider a joint appointment with either a CPA or financial advisor. Some credit unions and banks offer a one-time fast evaluation either for free or a relatively nominal fee. I wouldn't pay anyone more than $500 to look at a list of assets (with value), debts and income history with at least a general future plan including plans to have children or not to, birth control, life insurance, child raising. That last one is vital - if the couple plans to have one person at home raising the children of course spending will have to be *very* limited. And one thing most couples fail to address is: what about the financial health of the stay-at-home parent??

Laws are changing and while the divorce system is still not fair by any stretch of the imagination, you have one partner giving up their earning potential and all income for themselves by performing one of the most important jobs in the world. But what about a retirement plan for him/her? Oftentimes the stay-at-home is a woman and she generally relies on her husband's retirement to fund them both. In cases of divorce, she may or may not be entitled to half those funds (depending upon the state, of course) but realizing them is a completely different story. So a "what if" plan should be discussed by the couple as well - before marriage.

Then there need be the realization that money is one of the first dominoes. It is a resource and when it gets thin or runs out, everyone is in trouble. My grandfather used to say, "When money stops coming in the front door, love goes out the back." Times of financial distress in marriage require healthy discussion and careful consideration. Getting on the same page is most difficult during these times and I think it's just imperative for folks in trouble to seek the services of a professional.

As with anything, prevention is #1.

• Talk about it beforehand.
• Don't do stupid things, such as forego health, life and car insurance.
• Don't borrow on your home equity if you have *any* other choice at all.
• Try to follow traditional budgeting guidelines as much as possible.
• Let go of your ego and the need for status symbols.
• Get professional assistance when you must.
• Your retirement is more important than your children's college education.
• Contact creditors when you will be late or when you're in trouble.
• Review your financial status quarterly in good times, weekly in bad.

Just a few thoughts before coffee.

Please know ... I've been married twice and I've seen some good tactics used badly in dire situations. If you are triple-paying your credit companies but can't afford to eat? You need to adjust something. If your car has a basic safety issue which would be expensive but necessary to repair, find a way to make it a priority. If you qualify for the school lunch program but don't want the embarassment, suck it up and take it. If you have to go to the food bank, go early.

And if your partner refuses to cooperate and you are in financial trouble, do what you can alone. Sock every penny you can away. Never tell anyone where your stash is. Know what an emergency really is. Enroll in a community college or community center finance class and get as much free advice as you can from the instructor. And eventually, you have to decide if the relationship is worth maintaining in poverty. Of course, that should be a decision you make before you marry but people change and grow ... sometimes up, sometimes down.

Plan, plan, plan. Talk, talk, talk. Save, save, save.

 

[shesulsa]

A couple of links I found doing a quick google: (Disclaimer: I haven't had time to research the people providing this service nor investigated the efficacy of the tools personally. This is just to show that there are tools online to help people make some decisions and quick calculations as to need.)

Family Budget Calculator
Basic Budgeting Worksheet
Basic Needs Calculator from the NCCP
Some budgeting shareware

 

[Kacey]

Thanks Kacey. I have to admit that my budgeting is one of my main weaknesses. I have always been able to earn money when I needed money. This allowed me to be able to out earn stupid LOL but only for a couple of decades. It gets old. Budgeting has really helped yet I still have a difficult time coming up with a good budget then sticking to it. Have there been any tricks or advice that has helped you to stick to your budgets?

Tricks? Exigency, mainly - I was poorly paid and in debt for too long, due largely to the type of disconnect in financial preferences and awareness that Shesulsa warns against; specifically, I prefer to pay bills off as quickly as possible, and to save against future need, while my ex-husband believed in spending now, on credit, and let the future deal with itself - the outcomes of that difference (and his inability to hold a job longer than 6 months at a stretch) being the cause of our divorce.

If you want information on budgeting, saving, cutting costs, etc., I recommend The Dollar Stretcher, both the main site and the community forum. There are some great articles there, and some very knowledgeable people on the forums. Some of it's a little over the top for me - there are people there who have made frugal an art form that most of us would label "cheap" in the best Ebenezer Scrooge tradition - but there is some great information available.

Good advice. I do not do this and need to get off my behind and start to do so. If I understand right the credit agencies have to give you your credit check info once a year. There are three main credit check companies Equifax is one I can not remember the other two. But three companies would mean getting with one every four months so that the year is covered at all times. That said I find I keep putting it off. Thanks for the kick and reminder. Awareness is king and I have been leaving myself open and blind.

Credit agencies will, indeed, provide you a free copy of your credit report once a year; there are free services that will remind you to obtain and check your credit report annually. You can pay for a variety of other services - but the credit reports are really all you need; the identity theft protection services charge you for information you can get free yourself, or to check your credit reports for changes, which, again, you can do free yourself. If you want to know your credit score, that you will have to pay for - but you don't really need it.

 

[stickarts]

I guess the way i see it is that anything that can cause me harm is something that i need to plan a self defense for. Financial setbacks can harm me so i do have plans in place to defend against that.

 

[JadecloudAlchemist]

I am really bad with money so I give it all to my wife.

I am like a child when it comes to those things.