Disciplining Kids
- Thread starter Lynne
- Start date
JustAVisitor
Orange Belt
My 2 cents:
1- Do not discipline when you are angry, annoyed, blablabla, especially when you are teaching. Be in control of your emotions. Act emotions, especially for kids, so that they are very clear to them. Seriousness, Deception, Anger, Firmness.
2- Give a warning to give a chance to the child, and to calm down. Make it very clear that you mean business(few words, firm voice, stern face).No second, third and so on warnings. One warning is good enough. Apply discipline immediately if the bad behavior is repeated. Be consistent and predictable. This serve two purposes: the limits are known to everyone, everyone can tell whether or not discipline was required. It makes discipline fair.
3- Have a 'favorite' style of punishment. Kids will know what to expect.
4- Remember that discipline is about giving a lesson and not about humiliating.
5- There are 2 types of lessons to be learned in the context of an MA class and that imply punishment: one's safety and safety of the others (protection), proper behavior (prevention).
6- Make sure that the punishment is understood by the punished and by the witnesses. Ask to the punished if the lesson is understood. If necessary, take a moment at the end of the class to explain what happened and why it is not an acceptable behavior, so that it is a lesson for everyone.
1- Do not discipline when you are angry, annoyed, blablabla, especially when you are teaching. Be in control of your emotions. Act emotions, especially for kids, so that they are very clear to them. Seriousness, Deception, Anger, Firmness.
2- Give a warning to give a chance to the child, and to calm down. Make it very clear that you mean business(few words, firm voice, stern face).No second, third and so on warnings. One warning is good enough. Apply discipline immediately if the bad behavior is repeated. Be consistent and predictable. This serve two purposes: the limits are known to everyone, everyone can tell whether or not discipline was required. It makes discipline fair.
3- Have a 'favorite' style of punishment. Kids will know what to expect.
4- Remember that discipline is about giving a lesson and not about humiliating.
5- There are 2 types of lessons to be learned in the context of an MA class and that imply punishment: one's safety and safety of the others (protection), proper behavior (prevention).
6- Make sure that the punishment is understood by the punished and by the witnesses. Ask to the punished if the lesson is understood. If necessary, take a moment at the end of the class to explain what happened and why it is not an acceptable behavior, so that it is a lesson for everyone.
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Lynne
Master of Arts
Thank you for your wise and informed post. Much appreciated. Many things to think about.
The kids were much better tonight. I think were just hyped up and bored previously (during fun week, waiting for their turn). One three-year old was trying out and she was bored. My daughter wasn't quite sure what to do
Personally -- the indicated part is the problem! A 3 year old is too young for much; they're not going to behave, and they shouldn't be expected to, without almost one-on-one attention.
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Lynne
Master of Arts
I'm curious what a three-year old can get out of Tang Soo Do. I wouldn't know since I'm not an instructor.
JustAVisitor
Orange Belt
DavidCC said:
For teenagers (12 to 18) though, i would agree since they understand subtleties, but you will have some explaining to do. Enlarge the limits and leave it to them to find out where things become fuzzy. Be ready about your explanations as they are smart, demanding and defiant. They will easily detect non-sense and abuse of authority.
There is one last thing that i should have mentioned in my earlier post and that is: get to know the students and respect them. My rule is to never punish a student that i meet for the first time, i much prefer to explain what is expected of him/her. I also take the time to introduce myself to a new class or to a new student.
For kids (5 to 12), my experience is that if you act differently for the same mistake, then the misbehaviors will continue just because kids need to find out what the limits are. Establish the limits and keep them clear make things really simpler.
For teenagers (12 to 18) though, i would agree since they understand subtleties, but you will have some explaining to do. Enlarge the limits and leave it to them to find out where things become fuzzy. Be ready about your explanations as they are smart, demanding and defiant. They will easily detect non-sense and abuse of authority.
There is one last thing that i should have mentioned in my earlier post and that is: get to know the students and respect them. My rule is to never punish a student that i meet for the first time, i much prefer to explain what is expected of him/her. I also take the time to introduce myself to a new class or to a new student.
turtle
Orange Belt
In some cases, consequences that directly relate to the kid's actions work better than generic punishments. For the red belt who kept taking his belt off and didn't know how to put it back on, I would have taken the belt away after the first couple of times. No belt = no problem. The kid is going to be pretty embarrassed at not having a belt and his parents are going to ask him what happened when he goes home without a belt. Most likely, when he gets the belt back, the problem will disappear on it's own. Same for the kids hitting each other with their belts. Sometimes a little creative thinking saves a lot of talking when it comes to the little kids.
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Lynne
Master of Arts
I completely agree about confiscating the belts. I'm not sure if the instructors are allowed to do so though.
Why not? It's a reasonable outcome - in fact, I've done it once or twice myself... and not always with kids, either.
Well, you're not alone Lynne. Personally, I feel that 3 is a bit too young as well.
Well, I don't at this time, run a school or teach classes( it will take many more years before that becomes a possibility even if I *DID* wish to) but since I view martial arts as strictly about dealing with real world attacks and would include modern weapons as a subject in addition to the quote-unquote "traditional" empty hand subject matter, I won't even talk to a student until they turn 21 for legal or moral reasons because I would refuse to sell out just to make money off kids.
I would also be prepared, as a natural extension, to make but very little, if any, money doing so, but better that MAs should die out completely than go any further down the path many( but thankfully not all) are on right now.
I would also be prepared, as a natural extension, to make but very little, if any, money doing so, but better that MAs should die out completely than go any further down the path many( but thankfully not all) are on right now.
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Lynne
Master of Arts
At red belt, we begin using the staff. At black belt we use escrima sticks as well. I have seen people using kama (the scythes) and nunchukas. I can't say whether the very young are using scythes or nunchukas - I've only seen three adults using these items. However, we do have sword classes and they are open to young students. (I can't imagine our dojang master allowing very young ones to use scythes and nunchukas.) I doubt I would ever use nunchukas- I'd probably knock myself out.
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Lynne
Master of Arts
I don't know if instructors are allowed to confiscate a child's belt. They may be allowed to. I just don't know. That could come in handy...like when they are using their belt as a jump rope.
turtle
Orange Belt
Well, I did the belt confiscating when it was my own school/class so I can see that assistant instructors might run into a problem. But if an assistant came up to me after class and told me that he/she had felt like that was the best option, I'd back them up in front of the kid/parents.
Simple things can probably be taught, however, the more in-depth we go, there is a good chance they're not going to remember much. Kicks turn into a leg raise and punches usually look more like a palm strike with the hand closed. I have seen some kids of that age that seem to be naturals and able to pick things up, but IMO, its few and far between.
Well those are what I'd term "traditional" weapons rather than modern ones as I define the term( knives/batons/firearms). You begin to see what I am speaking of when I bring up "legal/moral issues".
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Lynne
Master of Arts
I agree with you on the modern weapons, Andy.
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Lynne
Master of Arts
Lo and behold, the 3- and 4-year olds can learn. My daughter (Bonnie) got them all to do a very good horse stance by having a competition to see who could go the lowest. And some of them were doing front kicks several inches above their heads. She held her hand above their heads and they were able to kick her hand. (Little devils - I wish I could kick like that.)
Bonnie said the main thing was keeping their attention, that she had to think of strategies to keep them focused. One of the black belts gave her ideas and demonstrated the "goofiness" required
Bonnie said the main thing was keeping their attention, that she had to think of strategies to keep them focused. One of the black belts gave her ideas and demonstrated the "goofiness" required
