Crutchfu

[Xue Sheng]

You could come up with a fighting crutches kata?

That quote is from this post

Apparently I have come up with a crutch fighting application, aka crutchfu

The yesterday a co-worker was joking around and faked a kick to my left crutch, the crutch on the bad knee side. I automatically shifted weight to my right leg took my right crutch off the ground turn my waist and stopped my crutch a few inches from the back of his head. To which he said, maybe that wasn't such a good idea afterall, and then laughed.

Who knew... I AM A CRUTCHFU MASTER :mst: :headbangin:

:shinzaki:
I will be making videos, building a website and selling...errrr I mean...granting belt ranks next week... and of course only certified Crutchfu crutches can be used

DVDs $49.99/dvd
Certified Crutchfu Crutches with REAL Crutchfu logo $149.99
Belts, prices vary depending on rank

 

[KELLYG]

Bless you! Crutchfu sounds a lot like a sneeze to me!

 

[grydth]

But wait, o New York State Worker!

Sounds as if you have a developed a HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT !!!

You need to contact your Affirmative Action Officer, every level of EEOC and Human Rights you can find, the 20 supervisors above you, and the New York City Public Advocate (just because)

Somebody way away across the office may have been traumatized by this terribly violent incident.

Never mind any dreams of a new MA - There needs to be training, counselling, investigations, sensitivity and anger management.....

Oh, and daydreaming on state time....... well.....

If I wuz you, I'd start hiding behind your disability before the creaky gears of state machinery start to turn....

 

[Xue Sheng]

But wait, o New York State Worker!

Sounds as if you have a developed a HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT !!!

You need to contact your Affirmative Action Officer, every level of EEOC and Human Rights you can find, the 20 supervisors above you, and the New York City Public Advocate (just because)

Somebody way away across the office may have been traumatized by this terribly violent incident.

Never mind any dreams of a new MA - There needs to be training, counselling, investigations, sensitivity and anger management.....

Oh, and daydreaming on state time....... well.....

If I wuz you, I'd start hiding behind your disability before the creaky gears of state machinery start to turn....

Not to worry, it all happened in an elevator lobby in a non-state building.

 

[Allen a.k.a. Destroyer]

Lol... you should train under me in "crutch-fu" lol, but I call it "How to Kick @55 With Your Injuries". XD I think the bible says something like boast about your weaknesses... I've gotta find the verse now lol... this is taking it literally. Like right now... I've got a broken finger... but I can still use that arm and hand to block a punch and then... well... then I've got umpteen different ways to put them on the ground once I've got that.

Years ago when I was just starting out, I got put on crutches for about 2 weeks by my master in a REALLY good hiptoss. It was on the mat and all... but... he didn't hold back quite as much as he thought he was lol. Fortunately, it was just a bone bruise on my knee, and nothing too serious. But yeah, I was thinking of all kinds of different ways to wield a crutch as a weapon. Believe me... If I were going to a tournament at that time... I would've come up with a kata or something, lol.

But I maintain that: "Once you get so far in the martial arts, you become a lot like Jackie Chan... super nice guy... and EVERYTHING is a weapon."

You can quote me on that. ;-)

Here's a good training method: Take a random household or workplace item... and think about ways it could be implemented as a weapon. For example: A good sturdy thermos mug. Sure, it can hold a warm cup of coffee or hot chocolate for an extended period of time... but if someone tried to hold you up with a knife (as in not outright stabbing you repeatedly but threatening from a couple feet away) you could splash them in the face with "caution: hot" liquid and if the mug seems like a pretty solid one... do I really need to say more? Now be sure you only think about how to use random items... don't go waving them around or threatening your co-workers with them! =p

 

[Xue Sheng]

Lol... you should train under me in "crutch-fu" lol, but I call it "How to Kick @55 With Your Injuries". XD I think the bible says something like boast about your weaknesses... I've gotta find the verse now lol... this is taking it literally. Like right now... I've got a broken finger... but I can still use that arm and hand to block a punch and then... well... then I've got umpteen different ways to put them on the ground once I've got that.

Years ago when I was just starting out, I got put on crutches for about 2 weeks by my master in a REALLY good hiptoss. It was on the mat and all... but... he didn't hold back quite as much as he thought he was lol. Fortunately, it was just a bone bruise on my knee, and nothing too serious. But yeah, I was thinking of all kinds of different ways to wield a crutch as a weapon. Believe me... If I were going to a tournament at that time... I would've come up with a kata or something, lol.

But I maintain that: "Once you get so far in the martial arts, you become a lot like Jackie Chan... super nice guy... and EVERYTHING is a weapon."

You can quote me on that. ;-)

Here's a good training method: Take a random household or workplace item... and think about ways it could be implemented as a weapon. For example: A good sturdy thermos mug. Sure, it can hold a warm cup of coffee or hot chocolate for an extended period of time... but if someone tried to hold you up with a knife (as in not outright stabbing you repeatedly but threatening from a couple feet away) you could splash them in the face with "caution: hot" liquid and if the mug seems like a pretty solid one... do I really need to say more? Now be sure you only think about how to use random items... don't go waving them around or threatening your co-workers with them! =p

Well, I have a confession to make, I do have some previous Crutchfu training, I broke my ankle doing a Shaolin Long Fist staff form years ago and it was then when I figured out how to throw a kick and swing a crutch like a Dao

I believe it was something I read from Bruce Lee several years ago that talked about thinking about unexpected attacks and how to reapond and I tend to think that way. Also a good hot cup of coffee and a tightly rolled up magazine make good weapons so I have been thinking about that stuff for years.

I tend not to do any of this at work though, it was just automatic when he faked the "kick the crutch move"

Now back to my new scam...errrr.... DVD crutchfu training progran

 

[Jade Tigress]

I will be making videos, building a website and selling...errrr I mean...granting belt ranks next week... and of course only certified Crutchfu crutches can be used

DVDs $49.99/dvd
Certified Crutchfu Crutches with REAL Crutchfu logo $149.99
Belts, prices vary depending on rank

I would like this one please:
Certified Crutchfu Crutches with REAL Crutchfu logo $149.99

I am willing to pay an extra fee for BB.

 

[Xue Sheng]

I would like this one please:
Certified Crutchfu Crutches with REAL Crutchfu logo $149.99

I am willing to pay an extra fee for BB.

Well to get the black belt you can get the Inside Student Accelerated Special which normally would be $49.99 for 8 DVDs, $149.99 for the official Crutchfu crutches and of course $59.99 for the belt

Which separately would be $609.99 but with the inside student accelerated special it will only cost $599.99 with the official Crutchfu patch and lifetime membership in WACKO “World Attack Crutchfu Killers Organization” and you get you questions ignored for free online

 

[Jade Tigress]

Well to get the black belt you can get the Inside Student Accelerated Special which normally would be $49.99 for 8 DVDs, $149.99 for the official Crutchfu crutches and of course $59.99 for the belt

Which separately would be $609.99 but with the inside student accelerated special it will only cost $599.99 with the official Crutchfu patch and lifetime membership in WACKO “World Attack Crutchfu Killers Organization” and you get you questions ignored for free online

Awesome! Sign me up! This is so cool, I can't wait! Wait til my friends hear I am a lifetime member of WACKO! They are gonna be sooooooo jealous! I am gonna wear my black belt everywhere, let's see those bullies mess me now. HA!

 

[Xue Sheng]

Awesome! Sign me up! This is so cool, I can't wait! Wait til my friends hear I am a lifetime member of WACKO! They are gonna be sooooooo jealous! I am gonna wear my black belt everywhere, let's see those bullies mess me now. HA!

:lol: