hemi
Purple Belt
Corporate Lesson 1:
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A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel,"
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]
Corporate Lesson 2:
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[/FONT]A priest offered a lift to a Nun.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]
Corporate Lesson 3:
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]They rub it and a Genie comes out.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]
Corporate Lesson 4:
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]
Corporate Lesson 5:
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]A turkey was chatting with a bull.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"I would love to be able to Get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Moral of the story: ******** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel,"
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]
Corporate Lesson 2:
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]A priest offered a lift to a Nun.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]
Corporate Lesson 3:
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]They rub it and a Genie comes out.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]
Corporate Lesson 4:
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]
Corporate Lesson 5:
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]A turkey was chatting with a bull.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"I would love to be able to Get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
[FONT=Times New Roman, Times]
[/FONT]Moral of the story: ******** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
