Bro... WELL DONE. Seriously, that's awesome you had your first go at sparring. And yeah, it was your very FIRST time, I'm sure you did absolutely fine.
And yeah exactly what the other guys said, treat it just as a tool. I know you have a bit of competitiveness and that's fine, but I'd suggest trying to view sparring from a different viewpoint and simply as a tool to learn. The fact that the second guy 'beat' you didn't really mean he beat you, but he showed you just how good you can be down the track, and gave you an opportunity to see what you can learn and how to develop your sparring. Ain't about winning and losing
.
You aren't a loser, OR a b!tch. Sparring will bring up all sorts of thoughts and evaluating/judging yourself, but it's just coming from you. I'm sure you did much better than you give yourself credit for!
And as for that first fight, that deeeefinitely happens hehe, don't feel bad. In one of our fight nights awhile ago I accidentally kicked one of our instructors there two or three times in the one round, I felt so darn bad, especially cos it happened more than once!! It just happens and I'm much more careful and controlled now [emoji1787].
Well done, be proud of your efforts [emoji106]