hardheadjarhead
Senior Master
A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department
store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by
putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.
Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the
comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack.
Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the
'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this,
ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like
on the inside."
A merchant sent an order to a distributor for a large amount
of goods totaling a great deal of money.
The distributor, noting that the previous bill hadn't been
paid, told the collections manager to check it. The collections
manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your
new order until you pay for the last one."
The next day the collections manager received a collect phone
call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."
The U.S. Department of Education has a new slogan: Our
students may be behind the rest of the world, but they're on
top of their teachers.
---Jay Leno (probably after the Mary Kay LeTourneau incident)
A couple in Romania has named their baby "Yahoo" because they
met on the Yahoo! Web site, in the personal ads. The baby
joins their two other children, Google and Asian Porn.
---Jay Leno
Top 10 Children's Books Not Recommended by the National Library
Assoc.
10. Clifford the Big Dog is Put to Sleep
9. Charles Manson Bedtime Stories
8. Daddy Loses His Job and Finds the Bottle
7. Babar becomes a Piano
6. Controlling the playground: Respect through Fear
5. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
4. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
3. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
2. Let's Draw Betty and Veronica without their clothes on
1. The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead
store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by
putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.
Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the
comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack.
Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the
'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this,
ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like
on the inside."
A merchant sent an order to a distributor for a large amount
of goods totaling a great deal of money.
The distributor, noting that the previous bill hadn't been
paid, told the collections manager to check it. The collections
manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your
new order until you pay for the last one."
The next day the collections manager received a collect phone
call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."
The U.S. Department of Education has a new slogan: Our
students may be behind the rest of the world, but they're on
top of their teachers.
---Jay Leno (probably after the Mary Kay LeTourneau incident)
A couple in Romania has named their baby "Yahoo" because they
met on the Yahoo! Web site, in the personal ads. The baby
joins their two other children, Google and Asian Porn.
---Jay Leno
Top 10 Children's Books Not Recommended by the National Library
Assoc.
10. Clifford the Big Dog is Put to Sleep
9. Charles Manson Bedtime Stories
8. Daddy Loses His Job and Finds the Bottle
7. Babar becomes a Piano
6. Controlling the playground: Respect through Fear
5. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
4. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables
3. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
2. Let's Draw Betty and Veronica without their clothes on
1. The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead
