Fascinating report, thanks. You might as well know that most tournaments are for young people, mostly under the age of 16 (my sensei says that boys quit when they get car keys and discover girls). The idea of adults sparring is pretty much gone. Obviously, there are some adults who spar, like myself for example; but believe me, when I go to a tournament, by the time they've gotten to my age group, it's late in the day or early in the evening, and 500+ kids have come and gone in the meantime. By the time I compete, we're down to maybe 20 to 50 adults who compete, besides the black belts who are often instructors and still compete.
I don't wish to seem negative, but competition seems to go hand in hand these days with Little League baseball and soccer and cheerleading. It's a thing for the parents to get their kids involved in, it's Day Care, it's a place for the parents to live out fantasies of their own childhoods, and in many cases, it's just a belt factory (I'm not saying that the place you visited was any such). One reason so many people who are serious martial artists eschew competition is that it has become so deeply intertwined with the "my kid has a trophy" karate-mom thing.
That is why many of the tournaments today have point-sparring, kata, and now, CREATIVE kata and weapons, often set to music, and involving acrobatics and weapons flying high in the air, with choreography, flashing LED bo's, and a show with everything but Yul Brynner. It's for the kids, and more specifically, for their parents.
I don't want to suggest to you what to do, but if you're really wanting to compete, and there are a small cadre of adults who do, then you are probably going to have to keep on looking. Consider also learning a traditional style that does not emphasize competition necessarily; nothing stops you from going to a tournament on your own.
For me, the dividing line is this. If a dojo has their name on the back of their gi's, or has 'team colors' or a special uniform they wear to compete in that is unique to their dojo, that's less of what I'm really interested in. A school patch is fine. Special fighting silks for your dojo? Not so much. Then it seems more of a recruiting tool for a business and less like a sport.
I could read Bill's posts all day.