alcohol warnings

[KenpoTess]

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. *****

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. *****

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. *****

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. *****

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. *****

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. *****

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. *****

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. *****

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. *****

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. *****

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. *****

WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode. *****

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to take home to bed someone who is A LOT uglier the next morning.


(* Added in Lines so I could read it easier , sorry Tess RP *)

 

[Kirk]

LOL!!!

I would modify this one:

***** WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

*****
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think
you can sing REALLY well, and want to share you gift with
everyone present.

But umm.. that's never been me


I think they should put pictures of missing children on beer bottles
and cans. That way a bunch of guys would get drunk, and go,
"Awww, that poor missing child! ...... Let's go look for him!

 

[Cryozombie]

****WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.****

So? I think that when I am sober...

 

[Ender]

I wonder what did ever happen to my bra and panties...*L

 

[theletch1]

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. *****

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. *****

Don't all of these kinda go together?:rofl:

 

[Seig]

The consumption of alcohol may cause you to wonder why the hell you are soo broke when you jusy got paid yesterday.

 

[IsshinryuKarateGirl]

Haha, those were great.

****Warning! The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think you can drive better than most of the drivers in any motorsport.