Speak up and speak strait.
Yep.....
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Speak up and speak strait.
I like those traditional rules! At orange belt, 8th gup, we get an ATA manual and it clearly states that our doboks are to be ironed. Not everyone with the heavier doboks abide by that. The lighter weight doboks can be folded in such a manner that they keep a nice crease and are without wrinkles. I just bought my daughter a new dobok and it's a heavier weight one, canvas. It has to be drip-dryed and if it weren't ironed, oh gee. However, I have seen black belts wearing wrinkled doboks. Not a good example and I wonder how they get away with it. I can see a point in the future where I will have to buy two-three doboks a piece for my daughter and myself since they have to drip-dry. The other alternative is to wear a nasty dobok - no thanks.I'm surprised anyone would have to ask a Sensei to address a situation like this. Neither of the Senseis I've trained under would tolerate such a thing. It's disprespectful to the art and to the dojo. My old Sensei wouldn't allow us on the floor if our gi was wrinkled. He had an ironing board and steam iron in the changing room and insisted that everyone's gi be clean and freshly pressed before stepping onto the floor. He was a real stickler for tradition. Part of the tradition included folding your gi into a nice neat little square before leaving the dojo. If he ever saw someone pull a wadded up gi out of a gym bag that student would have gotten a scathing sermon on the subject of respect. I guess I've lived a sheltered existence but I just assumed that was the way of the dojo.
If he comes back to the school and still stinks, I will pass on these suggestions. I might even offer to wash his dobok for him providing he puts it in a sealed plastic bag (otherwise it will stink up the car and my husband will kill me if I don't asphyxiate first. )There are plenty of ways of getting that stench out of a gi / dobok.
A half dose of chlorine based bleach in the washing machine can help eliminate many of the deep down odors.
Also, washing soda (sodium carbonate) can be useful, since it generates oxygen-based bleach instead of chlorine. Less destructive to the fabric than chlorine bleach. Let the uniform soak for a couple of hours.
Adding baking soda (sodium BIcarbonate) can also rip out some of the odors.
I could smell him when he was 5 people down from me. I think people are too nice and that's the problem. I'm not putting up with it again.
Nor more Mrs. Nice Guy!You shouldn't have too..No one wants to be the "bad guy" and tell this person THE TRUTH but its gotta be done or EVERYONE suffers...
He's about 17. I suspect a mental disability as he has gotten basic moves mixed up eventhough he's been taking classes over a year. I made friends with him and I enjoyed the way his eyes would light up if he showed me a move he had learned or demonstrated how to do something (since he's a higher belt than I). I know it made him feel good about himself. But there are some darker issues that have surfaced regarding himself and he may have been expelled. Or Master R may have given him a chance because of the disability and told him to not return until the dobok has been taken care of. I would suspect he's not going to be allowed to come back though.I have a quick question....
how old is the offender?
You keep refering to him as a kid, and sometimes these problems aren't the kid's fault (they haven't been taught right or maybe have parents that aren't around all the time). If he drives he should be able to take care of himself, if not maybe talking to the parent might be a good approach (even if he is older and you see a parent it might be a good idea, especially if you really suspect a medical issue). I also liked the idea of offering to wash it for him (VERY kind of you!!). If a kid smells this bad it really makes me wonder about the home situation, he really might need some additional help...
So, if a student's dobok goes beyond BO and into the realm of filth/gagging-type stench, something could be deeply wrong. There might be anger issues going on that could be a danger to your instructors/students; there could be abuse going on in the home or any combination of things. There is something wrong if a person is not washing their dobok, just throwing it into a bag and letting it sour week-after-week, progressing into over a year.
He has anger issues and, I think, has the tendency to be a violent individual. I will tell you why. A female instructor was helping him with his form; she's a real sweetie, very patient, about 18. My daughter overheard him call the instructor a **** (derogatory name for female genitalia) under his breath and he continued to curse her. Meanwhile, my daughter said he looked like he was going to hit someone. My daughter said this has happened more than once, where he has gotten mad at the instructors. She'd reported an incident where he'd fondled one of the other women during grappling but didn't think anything came of it so I think she was reluctant to report this latest incident. (I think something was said to him because he disappeared for a month.) Meanwhile, everyone is growing more and more resentful of this kid because of his attitude toward the instructors. The instructors had no idea this was going on (the cursing under his breath). There had been incidents in class where he said he wasn't going to do this or that, too.Tread very cautiously..The simple act of asking him about his home life might cause him to go berserk..I wish there was someone here with a backround in diagnosis of mental issues, as a cop if I see something wrong or suspect something is wrong with the home I can contact child services and let them know..That is something you and your instructor have to discuss..Please keep us informed..
He has anger issues and, I think, has the tendency to be a violent individual. ... She'd reported an incident where he'd fondled one of the other women during grappling but didn't think anything came of it so I think she was reluctant to report this latest incident. (I think something was said to him because he disappeared for a month.) Meanwhile, everyone is growing more and more resentful of this kid because of his attitude toward the instructors. The instructors had no idea this was going on (the cursing under his breath). There had been incidents in class where he said he wasn't going to do this or that, too.
...
He definitely seems to have a problem with females or is taking out anger on females because he thinks he can. He disrespects the male instructors by refusing to do what they ask at times.
I don't feel sorry for him anymore. I think he's a liability.
I don't know why he wasn't expelled earlier for the sexual thing (a woman had him in a headlock and he ground his face and head into her breasts and ran his hand up the inside of her thigh). I think that's very obvious, no mistaking a thing like that (unless I'm the crazy one). When we went into the locker room, she said, "I can't believe what X did." That same night, he had kicked my daughter during one-on-one kicking and an assistant instructor came over and punched his arm hard and said, "Don't you hit her again!" So, I'm seeing that they (instructors) knew there were some problems. Many of them are kids (teens) and probably didn't know how to handle such a situation.There're are plenty of red flags here. I guarantee that if I were the instructor, there'd be no second chance after inappropriate sexual behavior; there's just too much liability there, even ignoring the base problem of it happening at all. The anger issues just add to it...
Sounds like he should have been dismissed from the class a lot earlier. Martial arts instruction is not appropriate for everyone, and instructors are not generally trained to handle some sorts of problems. A small handful have the appropriate training to look into it further and maybe help the kid, but it takes special training and education. Probably an MSW or doctoral degrees.
You are 100% correct. Also, he thought of me as a friend and he might have taken that very personally, as some kind of horrible betrayal. Who knows?I am glad you didn't address him, your safeness is more important. It would be best to let those higher deal with the problem.
You are 100% correct. Also, he thought of me as a friend and he might have taken that very personally, as some kind of horrible betrayal. Who knows?