hardheadjarhead
Senior Master
Newspaper Glossary
When a newspaper uses a term like "informed source", what does it really mean? Herewith a glossary of newspaper terms.
---
# According to published reports: We got scooped
# Activist: Will talk to press
# All American: White kid caught in criminal act
# Allegedly: He did it but we can't prove it
# Beautiful: A woman who's been savagely murdered
# Beloved: Someone who's been around so long no one can stand them anymore
# Blonde: See "beautiful"
# Brutally raped: Raped
# Byline includes "With News wire services": No original reporting whatsoever -- we just changed the lede (first paragraph)
# Celebrity: Someone that has a publicist
# Choked up: Definitely could have been crying
# Confirmed bachelor: See "Flamboyant"
# Conflagration: What was a fire in the first paragraph, a blaze in the second and an inferno in the third.
# Controversial: He did something bad but we're not sure what
# Couldn't be reached for comment: The reporter didn't call until after 5 p.m.
# Dapper: Hasn't bought new clothes in 20 years.
# Diminutive: Under 5 feet tall
# Effervescent: She won't shut up
# Elite: See "prestigious"
# Embattled: He should quit
# Entrepreneur: Hasn't made it yet, but we're doing a nice story about him
# Exclusive neighborhood/school/club: The reporter can't get in
# Exclusive: No one else returned the publicist's calls
# Family Values: Right-wing idiot
# Feisty: Short, old female
# Flamboyant: homosexual
# Full-figured: tits out to here
# Gentleman bandit: He wore nice shoes, rather than sneakers
# Good Samaritan: Too stupid to run away
# Guru: See "Self-styled"
# Heiress: Able to hire a pricey divorce lawyer
# Hero cop: He got killed.
# Hero firefighter: He put out a fire.
# High-brow: Boring
# Highly placed source: One who would talk
# Hot button issue: Only editors care about it
# Informed source: Reads our newspaper
# Innocent bystander: Too slow to run away
# Intensely private: Not promoting anything right now
# Investigating: Waiting for someone to drop a dime
# Knowledgable observer: The reporter
# Knowledgable observers: The reporter and the person at the next desk
# Legendary: About to die
# Long-time companion: They had sex once
# Mean streets: Slums
# Mega-mogul: Has made it, and is in process of losing it
# Moderate: Fence straddler
# Modest, well-kept home: The cockroaches are dead.
# Mogul: Has made it, and we're doing a hatchet job.
# Never: No clips about it in our files
# Outspoken: Rude man
# Petite: Emaciated
# Plucky: Someone who is very, very young, very, very old, or very, very short who is ambulatory
# Political Action Committee contribution: Bribe
# Prestigious: Has indoor plumbing
# Rarely interviewed: Promoting something right now
# Recently: We lost the press release
# Reportedly: We stole this bit of information
# Savagely murdered: Murdered
# Scandal-plagued: Guilty
# Scrappy: A runt
# Screen Legend: Reporter is too young to remember his/her movies
# Self-styled: Phony
# Sexy: Better looking than reporter's mate
# Shapely: Face like a mud fence
# Shocking revelation: Leaked on a slow news day
# Socialite: Woman without job who lives between 57th and 86th streets, west of Lex. and East of Fifth.
# Source who spoke on condition of anonymity: Publicist
# Statuesque: Tits out even further
# Street-wise: Hasn't been hit by a bus so far
# Strident: Rude woman
# Stunned: Couldn't give a decent quote
# Supermodel: Her picture was printed somewhere
# Superstar: He has a publicist and an agent
# Tearful: Could have been crying
# Teen idol: Reporter is too old to have heard of him
# Temblor: Reporter has a thesaurus
# Tony neighborhood: Has no McDonald's
# Troubled youth: He once lit something on fire
# Unclear, uncertain, unknown at press time: No one will tell us
# Venerable: Should be dead but isn't
# War-torn: We can't find it on a map
# Weeping: Tear spotted in one eye
Regards,
Steve
When a newspaper uses a term like "informed source", what does it really mean? Herewith a glossary of newspaper terms.
---
# According to published reports: We got scooped
# Activist: Will talk to press
# All American: White kid caught in criminal act
# Allegedly: He did it but we can't prove it
# Beautiful: A woman who's been savagely murdered
# Beloved: Someone who's been around so long no one can stand them anymore
# Blonde: See "beautiful"
# Brutally raped: Raped
# Byline includes "With News wire services": No original reporting whatsoever -- we just changed the lede (first paragraph)
# Celebrity: Someone that has a publicist
# Choked up: Definitely could have been crying
# Confirmed bachelor: See "Flamboyant"
# Conflagration: What was a fire in the first paragraph, a blaze in the second and an inferno in the third.
# Controversial: He did something bad but we're not sure what
# Couldn't be reached for comment: The reporter didn't call until after 5 p.m.
# Dapper: Hasn't bought new clothes in 20 years.
# Diminutive: Under 5 feet tall
# Effervescent: She won't shut up
# Elite: See "prestigious"
# Embattled: He should quit
# Entrepreneur: Hasn't made it yet, but we're doing a nice story about him
# Exclusive neighborhood/school/club: The reporter can't get in
# Exclusive: No one else returned the publicist's calls
# Family Values: Right-wing idiot
# Feisty: Short, old female
# Flamboyant: homosexual
# Full-figured: tits out to here
# Gentleman bandit: He wore nice shoes, rather than sneakers
# Good Samaritan: Too stupid to run away
# Guru: See "Self-styled"
# Heiress: Able to hire a pricey divorce lawyer
# Hero cop: He got killed.
# Hero firefighter: He put out a fire.
# High-brow: Boring
# Highly placed source: One who would talk
# Hot button issue: Only editors care about it
# Informed source: Reads our newspaper
# Innocent bystander: Too slow to run away
# Intensely private: Not promoting anything right now
# Investigating: Waiting for someone to drop a dime
# Knowledgable observer: The reporter
# Knowledgable observers: The reporter and the person at the next desk
# Legendary: About to die
# Long-time companion: They had sex once
# Mean streets: Slums
# Mega-mogul: Has made it, and is in process of losing it
# Moderate: Fence straddler
# Modest, well-kept home: The cockroaches are dead.
# Mogul: Has made it, and we're doing a hatchet job.
# Never: No clips about it in our files
# Outspoken: Rude man
# Petite: Emaciated
# Plucky: Someone who is very, very young, very, very old, or very, very short who is ambulatory
# Political Action Committee contribution: Bribe
# Prestigious: Has indoor plumbing
# Rarely interviewed: Promoting something right now
# Recently: We lost the press release
# Reportedly: We stole this bit of information
# Savagely murdered: Murdered
# Scandal-plagued: Guilty
# Scrappy: A runt
# Screen Legend: Reporter is too young to remember his/her movies
# Self-styled: Phony
# Sexy: Better looking than reporter's mate
# Shapely: Face like a mud fence
# Shocking revelation: Leaked on a slow news day
# Socialite: Woman without job who lives between 57th and 86th streets, west of Lex. and East of Fifth.
# Source who spoke on condition of anonymity: Publicist
# Statuesque: Tits out even further
# Street-wise: Hasn't been hit by a bus so far
# Strident: Rude woman
# Stunned: Couldn't give a decent quote
# Supermodel: Her picture was printed somewhere
# Superstar: He has a publicist and an agent
# Tearful: Could have been crying
# Teen idol: Reporter is too old to have heard of him
# Temblor: Reporter has a thesaurus
# Tony neighborhood: Has no McDonald's
# Troubled youth: He once lit something on fire
# Unclear, uncertain, unknown at press time: No one will tell us
# Venerable: Should be dead but isn't
# War-torn: We can't find it on a map
# Weeping: Tear spotted in one eye
Regards,
Steve
