Would you rather have a more HONEST society or a more Polite society?

[Big Don]

IMNSHO, honesty is more fun. You can hurt someone a lot more with an honest, filter free description of their misdoings far more than you can with any lie.
Sometimes, you do look fat in those pants, sometimes, it isn't the pants making your *** look big...
Would you rather have a more honest society, knowing that sometimes the truth REALLY hurts, or a more polite society, knowing some truths will be left unspoken?

 

[Dirty Dog]

IMNSHO, honesty is more fun. You can hurt someone a lot more with an honest, filter free description of their misdoings far more than you can with any lie.

I try to be both honest AND polite. I don't always manage, but I try.

That your definition of fun is based (at least in part) on your ability to hurt someone is something that I find very sad.

 

[Big Don]

If you can be completely honest AND polite, that is ideal, if I have to choose between one or the other, I'm going to be honest.

 

[granfire]

If you can be completely honest AND polite, that is ideal, if I have to choose between one or the other, I'm going to be honest.

I guess it's all in how you sell it....

being honest as excuse for being a jerk....

Well bless your heart....

 

[Xue Sheng]

I want both :EG:

 

[granfire]

I want both :EG:

well, bless your heart!

:angel:

 

[Steve]

Frankly, what you mean by honest seems mostly to be you wanting to share your unwanted and unwelcome opinion, which would often be rude.

My thoughts, for what they are. First, I try not to ask questions I don't want answered honestly, so if I ask a question, I would hope to hear an honest opinion.

Second, I try not to answer questions that haven't been asked, and when I do answer a question, I will answer it honestly.

Third, I tend to believe that people who are overly blunt are often revealing more about their own shortcomings that those of anyone else. You can be honest without being an a-hole. In my experience, those people tend to be very insecure.

 

[K-man]

Frankly, what you mean by honest seems mostly to be you wanting to share your unwanted and unwelcome opinion, which would often be rude.

My thoughts, for what they are. First, I try not to ask questions I don't want answered honestly, so if I ask a question, I would hope to hear an honest opinion.

Second, I try not to answer questions that haven't been asked, and when I do answer a question, I will answer it honestly.

Third, I tend to believe that people who are overly blunt are often revealing more about their own shortcomings that those of anyone else. You can be honest without being an a-hole. In my experience, those people tend to be very insecure.

Good call! You can be honest and polite. Honest may mean not answering the question if that answer is unpalatable. :asian:

 

[Cyriacus]

Between the two, honest. Politeness tends to get in the way of honesty. A blend is nice though.

 

[Makalakumu]

The real question people should ask themselves is whether or not they want to hear the truth. Dissemble all you want, but truth is the bush that we will beat around.

 

[Cyriacus]

The real question people should ask themselves is whether or not they want to hear the truth. Dissemble all you want, but truth is the bush that we will beat around.

I suspect that has more to do with individuality, since... you know. Everyones truth is different. We need air to survive, thats true. Most of the other stuff is opinion.

 

[Gnarlie]

Speaking as someone who is British (super indirect, polite sometimes to the point of dishonesty) but lives in Germany (where the culture is more direct and honest, sometimes to the point of perceived rudeness), I prefer the direct approach. You know where you stand.

That's not to say that the direct approach isn't without it's problems. I've worked quite hard together with the people in my life to establish a compromise culture, where I'm more honest and direct than usual and they are more diplomatic than habit would have them be.

Fairly frequent cultural misunderstandings happen, which means that I've had to put in a 'don't get irked' filter for when someone says something which could potentially be taken the wrong way. Instead of anger, argument or retaliation, my first response is now one of consideration and tolerance.

That's the society I want. Tolerant and considerate.

 

[Makalakumu]

I suspect that has more to do with individuality, since... you know. Everyones truth is different. We need air to survive, thats true. Most of the other stuff is opinion.

Everyone's truth isn't different. We need air to survive is a great starting point.

 

[Gnarlie]

Everyone's truth isn't different. We need air to survive is a great starting point.

The truth is the truth, but people may have a different perception of it.

 

[Xue Sheng]

well, bless your heart!

:angel:

Not sure I'd say that.... just think of what that would actually mean..... to have an honest and polite society......

 

[Sukerkin]

It is possible to be both honest and polite; it takes some care and a little thought but most of the time you can be honest without being dismissive of the requirement to be civil.

 

[granfire]

to some people you can't be polite.

I mean, it's not as if you can't help but heap nastiness upon them, but every single word is taken as affront...

and of course, there are those who make it really hard to actually find a minimum of civility....

but that's aside the point.


BTW, since apparently not many of y'all are familiar with the South: 'Bless your heart' is the Southern Belle approach to all things irk some.
Translated int to NYC English it would be something like FU.
no, really, the southern ladies have perfected the way of telling you where to go and how to get there, and you thank them for wishing you a nice trip! :lol:

Sadly, after nearly 20 years here, I am still rather German....

 

[Xue Sheng]

I work with a guy who has the approach of a Southern Gentleman (he is from the south)....sadly it gets him absolutely no where with NYS IT Vendors.


Me..... I grew up in the North east and by heritage I am mostly German... I don't get far with NYS IT vendors either....because they tend to stay away form me....and I'm ok with that :EG:

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

I want both! I see no reason you cannot both be honest and polite!

 

[Carol]

The two aren't mutually exclusive.