TX Law VS NY Lawyer

[celtic_crippler]

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Houston , TX ... He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.

The deputy says, 'License and registration, please.'

'What for?' says the lawyer...

The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

'You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy. License and registration, please.'

The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'

'The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!' the Deputy repeats..

Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket... If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

'That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,' the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the crap out of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'

 

[Bob Hubbard]

As a NYer looking forward to moving to TX soon, I heartedly approve of this joke. LOL

 

[Matthew McMullen]

LOL that was a good one some lawyers just think they are above everyone it doesn't matter what state they live in.

 

[grydth]

As a NYer looking forward to moving to TX soon, I heartedly approve of this joke. LOL

Yeah, well remember to either drive slowly or wear body armor in that state.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

drive slowly? in Texas? :rofl:

 

[grydth]

Sorry,what was I thinking? I got a little giddy thinking about the punitive damages potential in the original fact pattern and just zoned out for a second.....still feelin' the tingles, though.....

 

[David43515]

What`s the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?









There may be skid marks in front of the snake.












That`s the thing about lawyer jokes. Lawyers don`t think they`re funny, and no one else thinks they`re jokes.

 

[Gordon Nore]

Here's one...

What's the difference between lawyers and pigs?












Pigs don't act like lawyers when they get drunk.

Sorry.:uhoh:

 

[Andy Moynihan]

As a NYer looking forward to moving to TX soon, I heartedly approve of this joke. LOL

As a M******* looking forward to moving to TX, I heartily concur.

 

[Andy Moynihan]

Yeah, well remember to either drive slowly or wear body armor in that state.

I always do that ANYWAY. :idunno:

 

[Bill Mattocks]

As a NYer looking forward to moving to TX soon...

You'll be soooooorrrrry.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

I'm currently cold, and having a hard time warming up. It's 42' outside. It'll warm up here around June 2010. Austin is currently 70' I like that much more. Sorry n warm is better than sorry n cold. Worst case, I'll go hang out at Hippy Hollow. ROFL!

 

[Bill Mattocks]

I'm currently cold, and having a hard time warming up. It's 42' outside. It'll warm up here around June 2010. Austin is currently 70' I like that much more. Sorry n warm is better than sorry n cold. Worst case, I'll go hang out at Hippy Hollow. ROFL!

When you realize just how badly Texas sucks, you can remember I told you so. Just trying to help out.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

It's better than NY, right now, thats good enough for me.

 

[Stac3y]

When you realize just how badly Texas sucks, you can remember I told you so. Just trying to help out.

Does NOT! At least Austin doesn't. Dunno about the rest of the state.

 

[Dirty Dog]

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?


One is a scum sucking bottom feeder. And the other one is a fish.

 

[celtic_crippler]

When you realize just how badly Texas sucks, you can remember I told you so. Just trying to help out.

As opposed to what? Michigan or North Carolina? I've lived in NC and TX so by process of elimination that must mean... Michigan? I doubt that... I must say I'm a doubter. I've seen "Roger & Me" and I know....LOL

 

[Bill Mattocks]

As opposed to what? Michigan or North Carolina? I've lived in NC and TX so by process of elimination that must mean... Michigan? I doubt that... I must say I'm a doubter. I've seen "Roger & Me" and I know....LOL

I've lived all over, and worked in every state of the US except Florida, Idaho, Montana and the Dakotas. All had something to recommend them, something that I found quite nice about them. Texas, not so much. I liked the River Walk in Austin. Otherwise...

 

[theletch1]

Depends on your personality, I guess. I was stationed in San Angelo for a tech school during my days in the Corps for about 4 months and really enjoyed it. Of course, I've always loved wide open spaces with very few humans in sight so it fit me well. I've spent time in NY as well (visiting) and didn't like it at all. I think Bob will do well in Texas. He's just far enough "out there" to both fit in and have fun yanking chains.

Oh, yeah...
What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?







A good start.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

Depends on your personality, I guess. I was stationed in San Angelo for a tech school during my days in the Corps for about 4 months and really enjoyed it.

Yeah, I did some time at Fort Hood during my time in the Corps, but really. I mean really. Fort Hood. Bleah.

And now I recall the River Walk was in San Antonio instead of Austin. My bad.