The Wisdom of George Carlin

[Bob Hubbard]

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,
For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain.
America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,
And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.

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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

 

[arnisador]

I think he's brilliant--a genius.

 

[Randy Strausbaugh]

I'm aware some stare at my hair
In fact, to be fair, some really despair of my hair
But I don't care
For they're not aware
Nor are they debonair
In fact, they're just square.
They see hair down to there and go off on a tear.
I say, no fair.
A head that's bare is really nowhere.
So be like a bear
Be fair with your hair
Show it you care
Wear it to there, or to There, or to THERE if you dare.
My wife bought some hair at a fair to use as a spare
Did I care? Au contraire.
Spare hair is fair.
In fact, hair can be rare.
Fred Astaire got no hair
Nor does a chair
Or a chocolate eclair
And where is the hair on a pear?
Nowhere, mon fraire.
Now that I've shared my affair of the hair, I think I'll repair to my lair and use Nair- do you care?
(See my beard-ain't it weird? Don't be skeered, it's just a beard)

I hope I remembered it all.