SifuPhil
Yellow Belt
...the Stranger , his face covered by a wide bamboo hat, brings fear and trepidation to all the townsfolk. His walk is more than just a strut - it is a brag, an extroverted claim: "Don't mess with me!" He kicks a small puppy as he makes his way through the town, leering at the women and tipping his head up to make long, sinister eye contact with the few men brave enough to venture outdoors.
A black cigarette dangling from his lips, he brazenly walks up to the front gate of the Forum. His eyes quietly dart right and left, up and down; he snickers...
"Heh, heh, heh...these people think their gung-fu is so great - I'll show THEM!" So saying, he suddenly explodes 20 feet upward in an unbelievable leap, grasps the "MartialTalk Forum" sign and, in one fluid move breaks it over his head as he lands back on the ground.
Suddenly thousands of Forum members pour out the Forum doors, surrounding the stranger as he stands calmly in the center of the courtyard, their weapons at the ready, each awaiting their turn to teach this upstart a lesson.
An aged Admin, his long gray beard touching his waist and his face showing more lines than War and Peace, carefully steps out to greet the stranger. "Why have you come here, and why have you destroyed our sacred Forum sign?" he asks in a high, screechy whine. As an answer, the stranger whips off his hat and cloak, revealing a tall, dark and handsome man of about 48 years, his hair in a long ponytail, his eyes dark and piercing. He suddenly balls his hands into two massive fists and, trembling, falls to the uneven ground on his knees.
"MASTER! MAAAASTERRRRRRRR! YOU KILLED MY MASTER!!!!!!!!!" he wails as tears stream down his eyes. "I will show you the true meaning of gung-fu, you pig-dogs!"
The ancient Admin slowly walks up to the shaking stranger and, without warning, cuffs him upside the head.
"Get a life, Bozo - this ain't no movie! And glue that sign back together before you leave!"
Having said his piece, the Admin slowly turns and walks back to his sanctum sanctorum, the Forum members all lowering their weapons. Dozens of "tsk, tsk"'s are heard as they leave the stranger on his knees, wondering what he said wrong...
A black cigarette dangling from his lips, he brazenly walks up to the front gate of the Forum. His eyes quietly dart right and left, up and down; he snickers...
"Heh, heh, heh...these people think their gung-fu is so great - I'll show THEM!" So saying, he suddenly explodes 20 feet upward in an unbelievable leap, grasps the "MartialTalk Forum" sign and, in one fluid move breaks it over his head as he lands back on the ground.
Suddenly thousands of Forum members pour out the Forum doors, surrounding the stranger as he stands calmly in the center of the courtyard, their weapons at the ready, each awaiting their turn to teach this upstart a lesson.
An aged Admin, his long gray beard touching his waist and his face showing more lines than War and Peace, carefully steps out to greet the stranger. "Why have you come here, and why have you destroyed our sacred Forum sign?" he asks in a high, screechy whine. As an answer, the stranger whips off his hat and cloak, revealing a tall, dark and handsome man of about 48 years, his hair in a long ponytail, his eyes dark and piercing. He suddenly balls his hands into two massive fists and, trembling, falls to the uneven ground on his knees.
"MASTER! MAAAASTERRRRRRRR! YOU KILLED MY MASTER!!!!!!!!!" he wails as tears stream down his eyes. "I will show you the true meaning of gung-fu, you pig-dogs!"
The ancient Admin slowly walks up to the shaking stranger and, without warning, cuffs him upside the head.
"Get a life, Bozo - this ain't no movie! And glue that sign back together before you leave!"
Having said his piece, the Admin slowly turns and walks back to his sanctum sanctorum, the Forum members all lowering their weapons. Dozens of "tsk, tsk"'s are heard as they leave the stranger on his knees, wondering what he said wrong...