Showing Respect outside of class

[ppko]

Do any of you have problems with students outside of class. I have never encountered it but how do you handle this situation.

 

[Firona]

I have never personally been in the situation (cause I am not in a class) but I have seen a friend of mine and his Aikido instructor and when they are outside of class they goof off like they were best friends.

 

[Bammx2]

I had one student in that I kicked out of my class dut to his

behavior in school. Although,I gave him several chances and sat talked with him and his parents over a period of time...he still kept messing up and was using what I was teaching him as a tool to be a bully.so he got the boot!
I believe students need to understand that what they do outside the class reflects on the reputation of the club(as far as the representation of martial arts,i...being a bully or whatever)
The reputation of the club is mine as a teacher and as well the students who attend.
If someone shows disrespect...it reflects on the whole school...not just the individual. I am NOT a trainer of bullies.I have known people thru out who have been and there are some who still are.But when I have someone comming down on me and my students because of the actions of one or two ....they are gone! I do try to talk to them and see if I can remedy the problem...but sometimes you just can't....sometimes you can.
There have been the rare occassion of just one incident and there was no talking.....they were out!
Martial arts should NEVER be used as a tool of disrespect and should not be tolerated.

 

[tshadowchaser]

I have had a few students that outside of class would talk bad about the instruction and myslef but in class would give lip service and be overly polite.They are gone, i booted them.
A few other students would misrepresent themsleves as haveing knowledge they did not have. They will never get it now nor the rank (from me) they thought they should have.
I do not abide with students that disrespect the system. I do not like those who make false claims of teachings that do not exsist. I have a personal problem with students that think they have more knowledge in a year or so than those that have studied 20, 30, or more years. I think these students could be taught but I find that many of them are so engrossed in their own fantasy world of their own worth that many times it is a wast of effort and a distraction to those that realy want to learn.

 

[terryl965]

When a student act like a bully trhe they have got to go, no second chances. They need to learn respect from day one. There is a time frame to work with but that needs to be address from the moment they put on a Gi......GOD BLESS AMERICA

 

[karatekid1975]

When I see fellow students outside of class, we all respect each other. We are like family, so when we see each other outside the dojang, we still bow (kinda a half-arsed one), and give each other a hug and/or a hand shake. I saw my master instructor and some fellow students at a Pow Wow (this is Indian country LOL), and we sat in a group together, and hung out together the whole time.

There is someone in our dojang that didn't show respect for herself or the dojang (starting false rumors, ect), and she got suspended for a month. I personally don't think she will be back, though.

 

[kenpo tiger]

My little guys are always thrown when they see me outside of the dojo. I am friendly with some of their moms through my kenpo sisters, so when I pop up at someone's house for a get-together it's completely out of context. My kenpo brothers and sisters are also some of my friends outside of ma - as are their spouses. Since our school isn't as traditional as some, there's no standing on ceremony as far as rank is concerned. We respect each other as people.

 

[ppko]

some great stories and you all seem to have the same remidy I appreciate the input and welcome much more

 

[Tgace]

You get the same respect I would show to anybody. Courtesy, respect and obedience to the dojo rules (which come as part of the "contract"). Outside the dojo, you get the same respect as any other person on the street. Any kind of authority ends at the dojo door.

 

[Lisa]

I show all the people I train with the same respect inside the school as I do outside. Like KenpoTiger said, I am friends with some of them and we get together outside of class as well.

 

[TigerWoman]

Even, if I wasn't in martial arts, I would show the same respect to other people as I would to anyone-students or non-students. However, when I happen to meet a 4th dan in another city, I feel compelled to bow to her rank and give her that extra respect. (probably get some looks from people who don't understand but that doesn't bother me) TW

 

[Tgace]

Even, if I wasn't in martial arts, I would show the same respect to other people as I would to anyone-students or non-students. However, when I happen to meet a 4th dan in another city, I feel compelled to bow to her rank and give her that extra respect. (probably get some looks from people who don't understand but that doesn't bother me) TW

I dont. Anymore than I feel the need to bow to a marathon runner, master fencer, doctor, LEO or anybody else with a particular skill. If its something you want to do or enjoy doing thats fine. I feel no compulsion to bow to anybody, unless its similar to a handshake or part of class. It reminds me of the military. There were people you saluted because it was "required" and people you saluted because you respected them. The appearance was the same, but the feeling was different.

 

[shesulsa]

I try to show the same respect out of class as I do in class. I started in Sam Pai Kenpo and we just didn't bow outside of class, unless we were watching the IKKA internationals in Long Beach and then it was a little bow. Now that I study Hwa Rang Do, we bow whenever we see each other, even in the store. Things might be a little more relaxed outside the dojang, but when I see My teacher in the store, as soon as I make eye contact with him, I bow - as I do all the black belts and I bow when we part company as well.

In my case, my teacher helps people shape their lives - he's like a second father to me, not just my teacher. I don't mind bowing in the restaraunt or the store or at the lake or anywhere.

:asian::asian::asian:

 

[TigerWoman]

Afterthought. The more someone insists that they be bowed to, the more the resistance to bow to them. TW

 

[shesulsa]

Agreed. There is a difference between demanding respect and commanding respect.

 

[Andrew Green]

I have had a few students that outside of class would talk bad about the instruction and myslef but in class would give lip service and be overly polite.They are gone, i booted them.

Sounds rather familliar

Unfortunately my problem student refused to go away...

Got to the point where police where involved...

Still didn't go away...

 

[Han-Mi]

Most of my students call me Mr.Payne outside of class, probably because they don't know my first name. Some of them I have made friends with over years, and have come to call me Robert in more casual situations. They are usually up in rank and deserve a certain amount of respect themselves, beside being my friend, so I don't really think much of it. Only one person has ever called me Robert as a white belt, and he is my best friend and has been since before I can remember.

Respect should always tranfer to the rest of the world, whether it be between instructor and student or parent and child. I guess that was what I was trying to say

 

[Sin]

My best friend and i have known each other since Kindergarden T-Ball and we have always gotten along...most of the time....I mean we where like brothers...i was the first person he called when his dad died.

Well we entered a MA class together and he was natrally a faster learner than i am...I learn but at my own pace. Anywho He would give me a layman's terms demo of a move. Still best friends. No offence to any females out there. but we both have had Girlfriends at differant times but we always used the phrase Bros "before hos."

Anywho I met this girl and i thought i was gonna marry her...but she ended up cheating on me and the onslaught of post brake up depression followed with insults from her and me just taking it, because thats the kind of person i am "sticks and stones" you know. I knew I never did anything wrong, so her words where shallow and didn't hold any meaning to me.

Until one day I find out my best friend is Dating her.....WTF you know. What happened to 'bros before hos" deal.

Anyways he hasn't been back to the class since he started talking to her. i spoke to him the other day, and he insulted my/our Sensei. what i can tell is that he has a lack of respect for the Arts, his best friend, and even himself for going so low.

i havn't came to a solution on what to do about him. i figure I will let him be and eventually she will brake his heart like she did to me. And he will know how it feels to be betrayed.

(I apoligize for the rant)

Anywho I belive guilt has a lot to do with his abence in class

 

[Simon Curran]

Agreed. There is a difference between demanding respect and commanding respect.

My thoughts exactly, my own trainer is one of my best friends, however, the national head of our former organisation is one of the "You only ever address me as Sigung" types...
One of the many reasons it is our former organisation.
I treat my instructor with the same respect I treat everyone, and since I don't go around bowing to others on the street nor will I do it for my friends/instructors.

 

[ghostdog2]

If I bowed to my coach in the gym, he would think I had a cramp. If I bowed on the street, he just might pop me for making fun of him ( or to remind me to be vigilant.)
No, he does not encourage undue familarity, nor does he tolerate fools; but in the gym and on the street, he considers it "man to man". No offense, ladies.