Quotes, Sayings and Bumper Stickers

[Bob Hubbard]

Men exist because cats won't mow the lawn. Women exist because sheep can't cook. Neither of these things explain children.


Summa cum laude graduate, Darth Vader School of Personnel Management


B.S. (Phys): Why does it work? B.S. (Engr): How does it work? B.A. (Acctg): How much will it cost? B.A. (Arts) You want fries with that?

 

[rmcrobertson]

"IF IGNORANCE IS BLISS, WHY ARE MOST PEOPLE UNHAPPY?"

 

[TheRustyOne]

Here's the two on my car now:

"I make sounds only other freaks can hear"
and
"On the first day God said {insert caffine molecule model here} and there was coffee!"

one i've seen on campus that i want:

"Evolve, damnit!"

one from evolvefish.com

"I found Jesus; He was in my trunk when i got back from Tiauana"
and one of those darwin fish things gettin it on w/ one of the jesus fishes...*sigh* there's a lot of weird stuff out there.


www.evolvefish.com has some darn funny stuff...now if only i had money...


and of course, the one that describes most new drivers...and then some!
"If you don't like my driving, get off the sidewalk!"


...i should keep records of funny bumperstickers on campus...

 

[pknox]

Somewhat related to the Jesus ones, I have also seen:

GOD IS MY CO-PILOT
But we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.

JESUS SAVES!
Gretzky rebounds and scores!

and the classics...

HORN BROKEN
Finger still works

VISUALIZE WHIRLED PEAS

MY CHILD BEAT UP YOUR HONOR STUDENT

BABY ON BOARD
Mother-in-law in trunk

MY OTHER CAR IS A PIECE OF CRAP TOO

 

[TheEdge883]

My couple:

Hit me if you love masochism

I'm kinkier than a pubic hair!

 

[rachel]

The one on my car right now. "You've been a bad boy. Go to my room".

 

[Chronuss]

...I saw this one on an Airforce car..."My other car is an F-16"

"Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you're an *******"...

 

[MA-Caver]

I saw three that I liked

Allah protect me from your followers

Atheism Is Myth Understood (nice pun)

Come The Rapture, Can I Have Your Car?

 

[bdparsons]

If you don't believe there is a God, you'd better be right.

 

[bushi jon]

Fugly
My other car is in my nose
let an electr undo your shorts

 

[KanoLives]

One night after taking a friend home at like 2:30 in the morning, I got stuck driving behind a guy who was doing 25 mph in a 45 mph zone. I wanted to get home and go to bed so bad. I was behind him for like 10 mins doing his speed when I then seen what his bumper sticker said:

"I maybe driving slow, but at least I'm in front of you."


Needless to say that pissed me off.

 

[rmcrobertson]

Here's one I saw on an old, beat-up Rabbit parked outside the stage entrance to a place in Salem, Massachusetts where they put on re-enactments of the Witch Trials:

STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT WHIPS AND CHAINS EXCITE ME

 

[theletch1]

STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES, BUT WHIPS AND CHAINS EXCITE ME

I think I dated her in high school

I saw a beat up '70 ford pick up with more rust than body that had one that said "Don't laugh! It's paid for."

 

[KenpoTess]

Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.

"I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. "


Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?"

Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms"

"Time is what keeps everything from happening at once."

"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."

On the other hand, you have different fingers.


"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...."

"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity

Keep honking, I'm reloading.

How do I set the laser printer to stun?

Grow your own dope, plant a man

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

 

[TheRustyOne]

Then there's the one that got Chronuss's feathers ruffled one night...

"Lowriders are for boys who can't get it up"

it was seen on a raised -- and quite ugly -- pickup truck.

 

[KenpoTess]

My Grandchildren Must Be Spoiled Because They Smell Bad!

Carry your own emotional baggage!

I used to soar with eagles before I got sucked into a jet engine.

I'm looking for a juicy sin to commit.

I shoot and kill animals because I know they are guilty!

I flee from small, woodland creatures.

I'm not a complete idiot. You complete me.

Women are like buses. Once one runs you down, there'll be another along, to do the same, in a few minutes.

Somebody needs to rub my belly and tell me I'm pretty.

Ask me for directions, I'll tell you where to go.

Don't make me pull this thing over.

Sometimes I aim to please, but mostly I just shoot to kill.

Well-Traveled. Not really, mind just wanders.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the porch!

So many pedestrians, not enough horse-power

 

[TheRustyOne]

"Some leaders are born women"

"My imaginary friend can beat up your imaginary friend"

 

[Nightingale]

PRO LIFE? GOOD! NOW GO GET ONE AND STAY OUT OF MINE!

AGAINST ABORTION? DON'T HAVE ONE!

HE'S NOT A BUSH, HE'S A WEED!

 

[Chronuss]

Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz
Men exist because cats won't mow the lawn. Women exist because sheep can't cook. Neither of these things explain children.

damn...this explains so friggin' much...:rofl:...but I personally think my parents had me so they didn't have to buy a dish washer...

 

[Nightingale]

LOL