Poems

[Jade Tigress]

​

A Woman's Poem​

Before I lay me down to sleep,​

I pray for a man who’s not a creep.​

One who’s handsome, smart, and strong,​

One who loves to listen long.​

One who thinks before he speaks,​

One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.​

I pray he’s rich and self-employed,​

And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.​

Pull out my chair and hold my hand,​

Massage my feet and help me stand…​

Oh, send a king to make me queen,​

A man who loves to cook and clean.​

I pray this man will love no other,​

And relish visits with my mother.​

​

A MAN’S POEM​

​

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with a​

small butt, 36DD’s;​

who owns a bar on a golf course,​

and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This​

doesn’t rhyme and I don't give a ****.​

The End​

 

[Drac]

My step-daughter says the same prayer.....

 

[CoryKS]

But a deaf-mute can't tell me how great I was last night. Do not want.

 

[Andy Moynihan]

A Woman's Poem​

Before I lay me down to sleep,​

I pray for a man who’s not a creep.​

One who’s handsome, smart, and strong,​

One who loves to listen long.​

One who thinks before he speaks,​

One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.​

I pray he’s rich and self-employed,​

And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.​

Pull out my chair and hold my hand,​

Massage my feet and help me stand…​

Oh, send a king to make me queen,​

A man who loves to cook and clean.​

I pray this man will love no other,​

And relish visits with my mother.​

A MAN’S POEM​

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with a​

small butt, 36DD’s;​

who owns a bar on a golf course,​

and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This​

doesn’t rhyme and I don't give a ****.​

The End​

We laugh because it's funny, and we laugh because it's true........

 

[seasoned]

Originally Posted by Jade Tigress
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with a

small butt, 36DD’s;

who owns a bar on a golf course,

and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This

doesn’t rhyme and I don't give a ****.

The End

Even though it doesn't rhyme it has a catchy tune.

 

[teekin]

Originally Posted by Jade Tigress
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with a

small butt, 36DD’s;

who owns a bar on a golf course,

and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This

doesn’t rhyme and I don't give a ****.

The End

Even though it doesn't rhyme it has a catchy tune.

Ohhhh the little extra's Id like to add into this poem
would get me booted off MT
lori

 

[seasoned]

Ohhhh the little extra's Id like to add into this poem
would get me booted off MT
lori

Hey lori, is that so it would rhyme a little. All in fun.

 

[Ken Morgan]

Ohhhh the little extra's Id like to add into this poem
would get me booted off MT
lori

Go for it, I won't tell Bob, I swear!

 

[Ken Morgan]

That would be great for about a month or two, but I know I would be sick of her after that time…..I don’t golf……

What’s that saying, no matter how good looking she is, someone somewhere is tired of putting up with her ****? I’m sure the women here have something similar for us guys.

I simply want athletic, intelligent, educated, confident, a wacky sense of humour and someone who wants to go through life as equals.

Hell she can even be NDP, http://www.ndp.ca/ I’d probably sleep with one eye open but that’s OK….

 

[Bill Mattocks]

Reminds me of a poem my grandfather used to tell:

I finally met the perfect girl, I could not wish for more.
She's deaf and dumb and oversexed, and owns a liquor store.
​

 

[David43515]

Hell, I`d settle for happy to see me at the end of the day.

 

[Ken Morgan]

Hell, I`d settle for happy to see me at the end of the day.

Get a black Lab....

 

[AlanE]

That was funny as heck. The extra message I know everyone caught was also the brevity of the man's poem. Wow, very funny. Thanks, Jade!

 

[SensibleManiac]

That was hilarious, if a bit unrealistic, most guys would just pray for a nymphomaniac with 36DD's.