Plane Crash

[Big Don]

The pilot announces that he has tried everything, the plane is about to crash into the ocean hundreds of miles from land. A woman stands up and yells:"If I have to die, I want to die feeling like a woman, is there a man that can make me feel like a REAL WOMAN?"
A man, thinking quickly, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this."

 

[skribs]

A man is on his first jumbo jet ride, a six hour flight. A couple hours in, the flight attendant announces that one of the engines has gone out, and they would be in the air for another hour. It's not too long before another engine's gone out, and extended the flight two hours. When the third engine went out, delaying the flight a total of three hours, the man looked to the person on his left and said "I hope the fourth engine doesn't go out, or else we'll be up here all day!"

 

[Buka]

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.