Sarah
Senior Master
The Beginner - the nice person.
Just started and an awfully nice person. Often less than five foot and weights bugger all. Very concerned about hurting anyone, always stops to check that they have not damaged anyone (particularly after giving one of the class heavys the lightest of punches).
The Beginner - the enthusiast.
Just started and really keen, and really want to get stuck in. Fond of keeping their shoes on in a class. Has a problem with distance, power and balance. This means the kick are a little wild and off target and often just a shade too heavy.
The Young Gun.
Young and fit, instantly disliked by the old and the fat. More energy than a major nuclear generating site, and not even out of breath after sparring for ten minutes. Despite energy, technique, and stamina, it is possible to land a cunning blow on these as they do tend to be over confident (but then you'll feel really bad for hitting the "kid" for the rest of the session).
The Bendy Toy.
So flexible you'll be convinced that they don't actually have any bones. When doing all those horrid position that the Evil Instructor insists upon for stretching, which you can't even begin to do, they'll be fully stretched out flat on the floor completely destroying your argument that these positions are totally impossible.
The Smug Git.
Passed a couple of grading, really quickly. No matter how complex the pattern just seem to remember it, they even know their left from their right. Made more progress in six months than you have in three years.
The Undercover Sneak.
Actually been doing Taekwondo for awhile, but is new to the class. They tend to keep their head down and baffle the rest of the class by being effortlessly good. However, they can be spotted by wearing uniforms that look just a little too worn and comfortable.
The Grandfather.
Far too old to be doing this. Completely stiff, out of condition, and passed it. They start the class by covering themselves in deep heat cream and swallowing load of vitamin and supplement pills in an attempt to stave off the inevitable.
The Martial Arts Film Fan.
Seen every martial arts film ever made, even the foreign ones (and there is a lot of those). Treats every sparring session as an audition for No:3 Bad Guy, putting in every conceivable combination until you are too dizzy even to think of a counter move, let alone block anything.
The Gym Monster.
Spends just a shade too long in the gym. Has more muscles than the rest of the class put together. This tend to be a rather frightening and an off-putting sight when paired up for sparring. Actually they all turn out to be rather nice people, and all that weight training means that they can't run that fast or for any distance (keep out of harms way until they go red in the face and lightly dance around them).
The Class Heavy.
Currently in training for a full contact bare knuckled fight. Constantly keeps stopping the sparring to inform you that you need to hit him harder as he is in training (you are already giving it your all). Occasionally complements you on your kick which had no effect on him but broke a paving slab last time you were doing breaking.
The Evil Instructor
The Evil Instructor will appear disguised as your favourite instructor, beware. Much like in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, do not be fooled by appearances -this is the Evil Instructor. He will start with push ups, more push ups, and then stomach crunches. Then triceps dips, lots of them, using a chair. Then the pain really starts. The bag is brought out, and you are made to work on it forever. Tasks will be set like run back and forth twenty thousand times; if failed the entire class will have to do more push ups.
Just started and an awfully nice person. Often less than five foot and weights bugger all. Very concerned about hurting anyone, always stops to check that they have not damaged anyone (particularly after giving one of the class heavys the lightest of punches).
The Beginner - the enthusiast.
Just started and really keen, and really want to get stuck in. Fond of keeping their shoes on in a class. Has a problem with distance, power and balance. This means the kick are a little wild and off target and often just a shade too heavy.
The Young Gun.
Young and fit, instantly disliked by the old and the fat. More energy than a major nuclear generating site, and not even out of breath after sparring for ten minutes. Despite energy, technique, and stamina, it is possible to land a cunning blow on these as they do tend to be over confident (but then you'll feel really bad for hitting the "kid" for the rest of the session).
The Bendy Toy.
So flexible you'll be convinced that they don't actually have any bones. When doing all those horrid position that the Evil Instructor insists upon for stretching, which you can't even begin to do, they'll be fully stretched out flat on the floor completely destroying your argument that these positions are totally impossible.
The Smug Git.
Passed a couple of grading, really quickly. No matter how complex the pattern just seem to remember it, they even know their left from their right. Made more progress in six months than you have in three years.
The Undercover Sneak.
Actually been doing Taekwondo for awhile, but is new to the class. They tend to keep their head down and baffle the rest of the class by being effortlessly good. However, they can be spotted by wearing uniforms that look just a little too worn and comfortable.
The Grandfather.
Far too old to be doing this. Completely stiff, out of condition, and passed it. They start the class by covering themselves in deep heat cream and swallowing load of vitamin and supplement pills in an attempt to stave off the inevitable.
The Martial Arts Film Fan.
Seen every martial arts film ever made, even the foreign ones (and there is a lot of those). Treats every sparring session as an audition for No:3 Bad Guy, putting in every conceivable combination until you are too dizzy even to think of a counter move, let alone block anything.
The Gym Monster.
Spends just a shade too long in the gym. Has more muscles than the rest of the class put together. This tend to be a rather frightening and an off-putting sight when paired up for sparring. Actually they all turn out to be rather nice people, and all that weight training means that they can't run that fast or for any distance (keep out of harms way until they go red in the face and lightly dance around them).
The Class Heavy.
Currently in training for a full contact bare knuckled fight. Constantly keeps stopping the sparring to inform you that you need to hit him harder as he is in training (you are already giving it your all). Occasionally complements you on your kick which had no effect on him but broke a paving slab last time you were doing breaking.
The Evil Instructor
The Evil Instructor will appear disguised as your favourite instructor, beware. Much like in Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, do not be fooled by appearances -this is the Evil Instructor. He will start with push ups, more push ups, and then stomach crunches. Then triceps dips, lots of them, using a chair. Then the pain really starts. The bag is brought out, and you are made to work on it forever. Tasks will be set like run back and forth twenty thousand times; if failed the entire class will have to do more push ups.
