New style of Self Defense

[terryl965]

I have been profecting my new style of Self Defense and here is a brief overview all comments are welcome by the way and if you have anything to add please do.

Step 1 First step in though the front door of your house and kicks off shoes.
2 unbuckle your belt and loosen your zipper.
3 pull **** of to show off beer belly
4 walk to fridge and grab a six pack of beer turn into a forebalance and reach a cross the counter for a bag of chips.
5. turn to the left in a walking stance and make three long stances toward the living room.
6. stop pet the dog and then turn to the right and bend over fr the remote.
7. turn back to the left look down and step over dirty clothes and make your way to the couch,
8 lay down on the couch and turn on remote.
9 find the blue collar comedy hour and open the first of many beers
10 belch and let a couple of farts out and call the old lady about dinner
11 eat some sort of beef by products and another beer
12 while watching the blue collar show fall a sleep with beer in hand and let it spill all over the carpet
13 wake up and go to bed griping at the wife for not cooking your dinner.


Please feel free to add or replace anyone of this at will.

 

[jks9199]

I have been profecting my new style of Self Defense and here is a brief overview all comments are welcome by the way and if you have anything to add please do.

Step 1 First step in though the front door of your house and kicks off shoes.
2 unbuckle your belt and loosen your zipper.
3 pull **** of to show off beer belly
4 walk to fridge and grab a six pack of beer turn into a forebalance and reach a cross the counter for a bag of chips.
5. turn to the left in a walking stance and make three long stances toward the living room.
6. stop pet the dog and then turn to the right and bend over fr the remote.
7. turn back to the left look down and step over dirty clothes and make your way to the couch,
8 lay down on the couch and turn on remote.
9 find the blue collar comedy hour and open the first of many beers
10 belch and let a couple of farts out and call the old lady about dinner
11 eat some sort of beef by products and another beer
12 while watching the blue collar show fall a sleep with beer in hand and let it spill all over the carpet
13 wake up and go to bed griping at the wife for not cooking your dinner.


Please feel free to add or replace anyone of this at will.

I'm afraid I beat you to that one...

Haven't had a sofa beat me yet! I pin 'em in seconds, and they don't move anymore.

 

[terryl965]

I'm afraid I beat you to that one...

Haven't had a sofa beat me yet! I pin 'em in seconds, and they don't move anymore.

so I take it you have fought the leather and cloth and beat them both, you are a beast.

 

[Carol]

:nods: Its why single women are skinnier than married women.

Single women come home, and after looking at what's in the fridge, they go straight to bed.

Married women come home, and after looking at what's in the bed, they go straight to the fridge.

 

[terryl965]

:nods: Its why single women are skinnier than married women.

Single women come home, and after looking at what's in the fridge, they go straight to bed.

Married women come home, and after looking at what's in the bed, they go straight to the fridge.

I have to speed some reps but if I could you would be getting them for this statement.

 

[Drac]

:nods: Its why single women are skinnier than married women.

Single women come home, and after looking at what's in the fridge, they go straight to bed.

Married women come home, and after looking at what's in the bed, they go straight to the fridge.

LOL...

 

[LawDog]

Princess Carol is tough, ow.
:rofl:

 

[qi-tah]

I have been profecting my new style of Self Defense and here is a brief overview all comments are welcome by the way and if you have anything to add please do.

Step 1 First step in though the front door of your house and kicks off shoes.
2 unbuckle your belt and loosen your zipper.
3 pull **** of to show off beer belly
4 walk to fridge and grab a six pack of beer turn into a forebalance and reach a cross the counter for a bag of chips.
5. turn to the left in a walking stance and make three long stances toward the living room.
6. stop pet the dog and then turn to the right and bend over fr the remote.
7. turn back to the left look down and step over dirty clothes and make your way to the couch,
8 lay down on the couch and turn on remote.
9 find the blue collar comedy hour and open the first of many beers
10 belch and let a couple of farts out and call the old lady about dinner
11 eat some sort of beef by products and another beer
12 while watching the blue collar show fall a sleep with beer in hand and let it spill all over the carpet
13 wake up and go to bed griping at the wife for not cooking your dinner.


Please feel free to add or replace anyone of this at will.

ok, you asked for it!

Meditation component:

Ignoring the dog's barking to be fed
Finding deep contemplation of innumerable car ads on the telly


Advanced sparring applications:

Plucking the remote from between the springs of the ageing sofa without losing a finger to tetnus.
Avoiding any mention of politics on the telly (requires expert technique in an election year!)
Master technique - using nothing but your discarded belt and dirty clothes on floor, lasso the fridge without getting up and drag it as close as possible to the sofa (to better facilitate beer retreival so you don't break yr zen-like concentration on the box)


Conditioning exercise:

Learning to like the taste of cornflakes with beer instead of milk

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

:nods: Its why single women are skinnier than married women.

Single women come home, and after looking at what's in the fridge, they go straight to bed.

Married women come home, and after looking at what's in the bed, they go straight to the fridge.

Carol you may be onto something there!

 

[shesulsa]

:nods: Its why single women are skinnier than married women.

Single women come home, and after looking at what's in the fridge, they go straight to bed.

Married women come home, and after looking at what's in the bed, they go straight to the fridge.

Princess Carol is tough, ow.
:rofl:

Carol you may be onto something there!

It would be less funny if it weren't so DARNED TRUE!!!! C'mon, folks ... think about it ... the same night with the same partner you've had for ten years, or ... chocolate cake a la mode!! I know which one I'd prefer ....

 

[Jdokan]

It would be less funny if it weren't so DARNED TRUE!!!! C'mon, folks ... think about it ... the same night with the same partner you've had for ten years, or ... chocolate cake a la mode!! I know which one I'd prefer ....

That's why married men prefer single women......

 

[shesulsa]

That's why married men prefer single women......

Yeah, we kinda count on those "boys' nites out" excuses too.